Blue Moon
by goldwillow07
Summary: Torn by her past and uncertainty of her future, Renesmee Cullen journeys into the center of the Amazon jungle in search of a truth that only her own kind can answer. An unexpected visitor, however, just might prove to be the real remedy for her wandering heart. Reminding us that once in a blue moon love does indeed prove to be the most powerful force of all.
1. Part 1:Sweetest Flower of All Thy Field

**Part 1: Sweetest Flower of All Thy Field**

"Beautiful isn't it?" His voice carried across the field.

I turned from where I stood to glance up at his approaching figure. I let out an impatient breath at being found, reminding myself to remember to cover my tracks more carefully next time. Unable to ignore him, I simply smiled, hoping that my sudden frustration would die down and his keen vision wouldn't notice. I bent to pick up another wildflower, placing it into the bunch I held within my hand. The colors shinned bright, as pinks, purples, blues, reds, all of them forming together to make a bouquet of sunset in my hand.

"Let me help you with that." In a series of swift movements lasting only several short seconds, he was by my side. Casually, he too bent down to pick up a delicate yellow flower.

"Madia." I spoke as I took it from his warm hand.

"What?"

He turned, his black eyebrows scrunching together as he glanced at me; it was something he always did when he hadn't quite heard what I was saying. The funny thing was he always heard me, he could hear me yards away, yet his mind was just usually somewhere else, confused or deep in his own thoughts.

"The flower, Jacob, it's common name is Madia Elegans. Native Americans use to crush them into food. I however just think they are pretty."

"So you're telling me my ancestors used to eat these things?" He smiled, twirling another flower in his fingers, his white teeth catching the sun's rays that filtered through the clouds. "I would say we've moved up in the world?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Jacob always seemed to have a snide comment up his sleeve. I brushed past him and found another patch of forget-me-nots. A few more and I would be done. I bent down to gather a few of them, only to have Jacob's shadow cast itself over me. I breathed a deep breath. I had to remind myself that it was just Jacob's way. He never meant to hover. He was just like this. He had always been like this, it would always be this way, at least with me.

"You seem to have a big bunch there."

I could feel his eyes on my neck, on my shoulders, as if he was watching my every move. I took another deep breath focusing my energy on trying to slow down my heartbeat. Jacob could hear even that too.

"Enough for Esme and Mom." I stood, turning to face him. "I promised Esme a new vase of them and I figured we could use a new batch at the cottage."

"So Ness, you going to tell me what you are really doing up here all by yourself, again, and don't say it's because you just needed some fresh air." His brown eyes caught mine as he crossed his arms. His stance seemed firm as if he wasn't going to let me pass without an answer, an honest answer. "I know you better than that."

That was the one thing I hated most about Jacob, he knew me too well. He could tell when I was lying. More than that he knew when I was keeping things from him, which until recently had never really been the case.

"I…I just needed to…breathe." I took a deep, much exaggerated breath and smiled brightly. "And I thought it would be a good idea to give mom and dad some space for a few hours."

Despite his grotesque face at the mention of my parents, I knew he wasn't satisfied. I tried to move past him to avoid his gaze but he wouldn't let me pass. That was another thing I hated about Jacob, he was stronger than me, the human side of me made we weaker. He placed a firm hand against my arm. It didn't hurt rather it felt warm, a feeling that as a child had been comforting, but now was simply annoying.

"You're lying. You're heartbeat gives you away."

"That's not fair." I caught his eyes. I knew he was worried. His forehead was wrinkled, a fixed concerned expression glued to his face. "Jake—"

"What aren't you telling me, Ness?"

He moved towards me, placing his hand on my other arm. I was officially trapped there in front of him. My eyes fixated on the heavy rise and fall of his chest, I dared not look up into his eyes for fear that I would be found out.

"You've been distant lately…with all of us."

"I just have a lot going on." I muttered under my breath still unwilling to look up at him. His touch loosened, and finally he dropped his hands.

"Like what?" He laughed taking a step backward, the sound of it filling the silence of the open land. "Piano lessons, defense and offensive training, studying advanced Latin and Greek, learning names for wildflowers—"

"Cut it out Jacob." I finally glanced up at him, but I was angry and he knew it. He took another step backwards as if my words had hurt him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just joking."

"I just have a lot that I am processing right now."

"Processing?" He mumbled as he crossed his arms again, his eyes transfixed on me as if he was trying to read my mind. Thankfully only my dad could do that and he and I had agreed to a strict code of silence a long time ago. "Okay, so what are you processing?"

"Jake—"

"No, Ness, I'm all ears, so what's going on?" He reached for my hand, as if I would show him the way I had always shown everyone else what I had wanted, the way that had become normal for me to communicate.

"No, Jake. Not like that. I'm not a child anymore." I spoke the words I had been thinking about for years now aloud and with an intensity that I hadn't even expected. Jacob instinctively withdrew his hand as if my words had literally stung him, and maybe they had. "I'll…I'll see you later."

I took one more glance at him and speed off, flying through the forest, I was grateful he didn't try and follow me. Dodging the trees and rocks, I made my way back to the cottage, the bunch of wildflowers secure in my right hand. It only took a few moments but it felt like an eternity especially since Jacob's hurt expression seemed to stick in the forefront of my mind.

I came to an abrupt stop in front of the door and let my ears pick up on the sounds around me. Hearing nothing but the casual voices of my parents, I opened the door and stepped into the cottage. Walking to the piano by the large floor length window, I grabbed the crystal vase on top of it as I had so many times before. This outing unfortunately had become a routine the last few years. I consoled myself by believing that it was a kind gesture to have fresh flowers in the houses and that it brightened up the rooms.

"Another already." My dad, Edward's voice came from the hallway.

"They are lovely, Renesmee." My mom, Bella smiled brightly as she moved quickly from under my dad's arm to where I stood. She breathed in their scent and kissed me on the forehead. "Thank you sweetheart."

"I just figured a new group might be nice."

"You seem to be spending a lot of time up there."

"It's just so beautiful this time of the year. The sun shines right through the trees and lights up all the colors in the field, like a living breathing sunset."

"It must be spectacular. Maybe we should go see it for ourselves." My mom put her arm around my dad's waist and leaned her head against his chest.

I had seen her do the exact same thing my whole life. The same exact move, the same exact way, and yet now it somehow made me begin to question things I had never questioned before. I could tell they had caught my dilemma. I saw recognition in my dad's eyes. He had heard my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" My mom stepped out of his embrace and laid her hand against my cheek. Her touch felt slightly cool, like a soft breeze, so unlike Jacob's warmth. That was the difference of their kind, one cool, one warm.

"No, I don't think I am." I heard my voice shake as I said the words.

Within seconds my mom brought me into her embrace and my dad wrapped his arms around the both of us. It was something that should have brought me comfort, but it seemed to only make me more agitated. I didn't want their touch; I wanted space. I wanted space and answers, answers to all the questions that ran through my head. It was my dad who stepped away as if my thoughts had been well registered. My mom responded the same as if taking his lead.

"Bella and I will try and answer any questions you have." At the mention of the word questions my mom's face expression hardened, if that was even possible.

"Dad, you can't pick and choose when to abide by the code!" I said through a frustrated sigh.

"I know, it's just—" He looked from me to my mom and just smiled as best as he could. "I'm sorry, you're right. It's just gotten harder over the years. I just want to protect you, to help you."

"You are growing up, Ness." My mother's tender voice echoed over us. "A part of doing so is thinking, feeling the way I can assume you do." Her hand found my face again, smoothing a free strand of wavy hair away from my eyes.

"We just want you to let us in." Upon hearing my thoughts, my resolve loosening, my dad led me by the hand to the couch in the center of the room.

My mom gracefully sat down beside me, my dad it seemed was content to sit on the ottoman across from us, yet both of their golden brown eyes never left my face.

"Ask us anything. We will do our best to answer, to help explain anything that might be troubling you."

"Is this about Jake?" My mom asked as she bit her lip, a nervous human habit that she seemed to have still kept even after she was turned.

I knew the blush that rose over my face from her bluntness only gave me a way. There where some downsides to being what I was, this was definitely one of them.

"He's part of it," I tried to be honest, "but it's more than that." "I just feel so…different. I mean, yes, I know I am different than each of you. Carlisle even says that the human part of me makes me so, but I guess I just…feel it…sense it more now that I am older. I mean at seven years I was fully-grown, mature by human standards. I stopped aging almost ten years ago. For the longest time now I've felt older than I am. I just feel like…like I am trapped."

My mom ran a hand over my head and through my wavy light brown hair, as if responding to my confusion, as if doing so might soothe it away.

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"I never felt like I could." I said truthfully looking between the both of them. "You both were so happy, so excited with this life and the way we lived it. For a while as a child I was too. I grew up surrounded by love, by countless tutors, by many mothers, fathers, and friends. Yet the last few years…I have…there's been an awakening of sorts. I seem to notice things that no one does. I experience emotions that no else does."

"Like what?" My father asked, curious to know the answer.

"Restlessness. Boredom. Curiosity."

"Many a vampire has felt such things and add that with the human part of you that desires to seek, explore, and understand, it is only natural for you too feel those, sweetheart."

"But unlike them, I have never had the chance to explore, or go and seek what I want to understand." My voice heightened and I didn't really know why. "I've spent the last seventeen years here."

"How has time flown by so quickly?"

"Time is quicker for us Bella, we live it differently now."

"Yet before we cherished it, Edward, we didn't know how long we would have with you." I felt her hand grasp mine.

"I know and then we realized we would have time, time was all we had." My father glanced at my mom and smiled, a deep smile that I couldn't understand fully it's meaning.

"It's becoming…I mean I…it's becoming harder and harder for me to be here." I didn't know how else to say it. I figured the truth was the best way. Quick and easy, that was the best bet.

"What do you mean?"

"Dad, you know that living here has been getting harder for me. I've spent the last year just trying to figure it out without freaking you out. That's why I have been spending so much time away, I haven't wanted you hearing my thoughts."

"What about being here is so hard, Renesmee?"

My mom's face look bewildered, and that was what made even this conversation so difficult. She really could not comprehend or begin to understand why all of this was not what I wanted, or at least not what I needed right now.

"Everything. The constant protection of Emmett and Jasper, the constant hovering of Rosalie, the never-ending coupling of all of you! Everyone is divided into pairs, and that just makes it all worse."

"Because of Jacob?"

"He's the biggest reason of all for me to…"

"For you to what?" My mom cast her gaze intently upon me as if doing so would extract a different statement from my mouth. "For her to do what, Edward?"

"For me to leave." I spoke as confidently as I could, yet I knew doing so would hurt her even more.

"Renesmee—"

"I've been trying to find a way to tell you, both of you, to find the right time to explain it to you. I want to leave mom, I have wanted to for a while now." My gaze caught her golden eyes and I knew that if she could she would be crying. "I won't ever be able to feel the way he does."

My parents sat speechless, frozen in their own emotions and thoughts, yet it was another sound that made all three of us finally move, a sound I was very familiar with, a deep mournful howl. Jacob it seemed had been listening.

"Jake." My mom's voice spoke with such tenderness that it shook me from my own thoughts.

I stood to leave, to go and find him, to explain, but my father gripped my hand, keeping me where I was.

"There will be time for that, Ness, Jake won't go anywhere, not without talking to you first. For now you need to tell us how you really feel so that way we all can decide together what is best for you."

"How long have you felt this way?"

"A few years."

"Years? That long?" My mom asked her face holding nothing but shock.

"I didn't want to hurt you all. I just began to feel disconnected, even at some points angry. Things, my whole life, have just been set in stone, as if it's already happened. Living here with all of you forever."

"Renesmee—"

"I know that sounds hurtful, Mom, and I am sorry. You all chose this life. Despite the surprise of having me, you then chose this life for me as well. Never once have I been given an opportunity to choose, to choose to do it differently. It's like there is this huge part of me that just wants to understand, to know why I am so different? Why I feel so discontented? Why don't I feel the same way about Jake?"

"What do you feel, Renesmee?" My father asked his eyes suddenly closing as if listening intently to what he was hearing me think.

"Jake has been here for me my whole life, he's my best friend. He's been everything to me all at once in so many ways. The way he began to look at me, the way he looks at me now. I know he hopes for more, like with the other members of the tribe. It's as if he is waiting for something, like there is a timeline and I haven't gotten there yet but he wants me to be there. I know that sounds crazy."

"It makes sense, trust me."

I caught my mom looking at my dad. There was the expression again. It was as if they were thinking the same thing, thinking something that I couldn't understand.

"What are you not telling me?" I questioned. A tremor echoed between them, I had never seen my parents so on edge before, at least not since I was young.

"There is history, sweetheart, between Jacob and your mom. A history that all of us didn't understand until you were born."

"What are you talking about?" I turned from my father to my mother seeking her eyes to understand the truth.

"Jake has always been a friend to my family, your grand-pa's and mine. We grew up together and became friends when I moved here to Forks in high school despite him being a couple of years younger than me."

"That's nothing I don't already know."

I caught my mom looking at my dad as if to consult him on how to explain. They both just stared at each other for a while, neither one seeming to know how to proceed.

"We knew this day would come, Bella."

"You both are starting to scare me." I exclaimed.

"Renesmee, I…we have tried to tell you this so many times, it just somehow never seemed right. You see, Jake and I…we were…connected…for a while." My mom finally spoke so slowly that her words hung in the air.

"Connected?" I knew my face must have looked perplexed because honestly I was.

"He was in love with her." My father spoke carefully.

I stood still, my body unmoving as the words echoed through me. Jacob, Jake, my Jake, the person I had grown up with, my best friend…had been in love with my mom? I forced myself from their touch and flew across the room to the window, my eyes stung, my stomach fell from the sudden pain of the truth.

"Edward." Her golden eyes moved from my father to my sudden absence. I knew I had caused her pain by tearing myself away from them so fast. "Sweetheart, Jacob just thought he was in love with me." She stood and within moments she gracefully found her way by my side again.

"I don't understand." I forced myself to look at her. "You either do or don't love someone."

"It's not always that simple, Renesmee. The heart, our emotions, our desires can be a complicated thing."

"Did you love him too?"

"Renes—"

"Did you?" I spoke fervently desperately seeking the truth.

"As a human, a part of me did, yes." My mother looked at the floor before glancing over her shoulder to my father. "I cared for him very deeply, he was my best friend, someone who knew me more than anyone, but I wanted this. I chose this life with your father. I loved Edward first and always."

"Why did you never tell me? Why keep it from me all these years?" I questioned desperately.

"Like Bella said, sweetheart, we always intended to tell you. Maybe we should have sooner, for that we are sorry." My father stood and made his way to the both of us. "Renesmee, the truth is only this and I hope you can hear us and know it to be true. Jacob never imprinted on Bella, he couldn't, because for as much as he thought he loved her, and for as much as your mother cared for him, she wasn't the one he was meant for. Ness, when you were born and Jacob saw you for the first time, he imprinted. For the first time it all began to make sense. He was drawn to Bella during those years because it was making a way to you."

There it was, the truth. I was the one whom Jacob had imprinted on. I had always known, I guess, but to have it confirmed made me feel unstable, as if suddenly the world had shifted and I wasn't prepared for it quite yet. I had heard the term imprinting all my life, beginning from the time I was young when I would go with Jacob to the reservation. I knew about it and had seen it's effects, but the truth was I was different than all the others. I never acted around Jacob now the way Emily did with Sam, maybe when I was a child Jacob and I had a special bond, but things hadn't been the same since I reached maturity.

"But he hated you during all that time?" I said trying to but the pieces together.

"Yep, it seemed that part was unavoidable, warring species, in love with the same girl, and all of that."

"He saved all our lives that night, Renesmee. Sam and the others had vowed to kill you, if Jacob hadn't imprinted on you…well who knows how things might have been."

"Sam? Kill me?" I mumbled my eyes widened. The man I had grown up with flashed in front of my eyes, the one I had built sandcastles with, the times spent over at his house baking with Emily. "Why?"

"They, like the Volturi, were afraid of what you might become. They didn't understand how special you are."

"They thought I would be like the immortal children." I felt myself shake. I had researched their kind when I was younger, afraid that I might become like them. Luckily, Nahuel was right. We were different; we could control our thirst.

"I know this is a lot to take in, sweetheart."

"But if Jacob did imprint with me, then why am I so different? Why don't I feel…why don't I act the way the others do?"

"As a child you did. We couldn't keep you two apart." I saw my mother smile. "You two spent all your time together."

"I haven't felt that way in a while."

"I know, baby." My mom placed her hand over mine.

"Maybe your uniqueness has allowed you a certain choice?" My father spoke up.

"Choice?"

"You can choose to feel the same way or not, sweetheart." He placed his hand under my chin raising it up to meet his eyes. "You have the choice to one day choose to love him."

If I had to be honest, I have always known deep down that Jacob loved me, maybe not in such a deep romantic way as I was beginning to realize, but all the same I knew he felt love towards me. Ever since I began to realize just how much he loved me, the guilt and fear of not being able to feel the same, began to slowly overwhelm me. That was the real question that my heart had yet to find an answer to. The fear that permeated through me now was that I might never have the answer.

"I want to go spend time in South America." I spoke calmly my eyes glancing into both of their faces.

"South America?" My mom repeated as if she hadn't heard me correctly.

"To visit our friends I would imagine." My father took a step towards my mother wrapping his arm around her as if doing so might ease the sudden pain I was causing her.

"Yes, to visit Nahuel, to hopefully meet his sisters. To understand what being me means."

"They drink human blood, Renesmee." My mother's tone hardened.

"Yes, and so did we once, long before you were a vampire." I knew I had gone too far, from the look on their faces they both seemed surprised by my words. "I'm sorry, that…that wasn't called for. I want to go find out for myself the answers only they can give. This isn't a new altering view on my choice of diet. This is about me figuring out what it means to be…me."

"Fine, we'll all go. We can be back by—"

"No, mama." My voice was steadfast and firm, my tone fixed on this sole truth. I wanted to do this, and I wanted to do it alone.

"She's right Bella, this is a journey we can't take with her."

"Edward, Alice can't track her, she'll be invisible in the jungle! What about the Volturi? They would look for any chance to find her alone. We can't take that risk."

"I know. Trust me, Bella, I know."

I could feel the tension in the room as my mom processed all that I was saying. I knew her mind was figuring out an alternative solution, a way to let me go but also protect me. I knew she would be the hardest to sway. She loved me more than I could imagine. She had nearly sacrificed everything for me and I knew she would do it again in a heartbeat.

"Renesmee, you've never even…" Yet I stood firm and caught her golden eyes as she glanced from my father back to me. "Alright. Alright, if this is what you really want." My mom placed her hand on my cheek and looked deep into my eyes as if she suddenly had my father's gift and could hear my thoughts.

"This is what I need to do. I need time away to process, to figure all of it out." I placed my hand over hers and nodded with a confident smile, yet underneath I knew that this was an undertaking I wasn't sure whether I was prepared for.

"Alice and Jasper will be able to describe where they found them. Although that was almost two decades ago, they may have moved on since then."

"I can track them. Their scent will be different than anything else. Jacob taught me how to—" At the sudden mention of his name the reality of what I was doing and what I would be doing to him hit me.

"Go and speak to him, Ness." My father eyed the front door of our cottage. "We can make arrangements while you are gone."

"What if he hates me?" I whispered.

"He won't." My mom pulled me into her arms, as if this was when we were saying goodbye.

"I'll be back, mom."

"I know." She rubbed my back and pulled away from me with a smile.

"Here goes nothing." I breathed a deep breath before flying out of the cottage and vanishing into the night.

I stopped in the middle of the path that led up to the main house and let my senses take over. I tried to catch the familiar scent of him. He wasn't anywhere near the house nor the cottage. His scent; an aroma that to the rest of my family smelled like a foul wet dog, to me however Jacob always smelled much more like the forest right after a heavy rain, a mixture of musk, cinnamon, and grass. I found the familiar smell soon on as the wind blew gently. I determined that he had fled the house headed towards the reservation. My heart dropped at the revelation, Jacob never left this early before. I took another deep breath knowing his early departure was and could only be my fault.

I ran as fast as I could through the trees, the full moon tonight helped the darkness give shape. My half-human eyes didn't allow me to see perfectly at night but the light from the full moon made everything clearer. I rushed over the mountain and through the meadow we had been in only this afternoon.

I slowed down only as I neared the small wooden homes on the outskirts of the reservation. I began to walk as I made my way quietly to Jacob's back door. I didn't want to wake up Billy, the years hadn't been too kind to him, and his mobility was waning. But it seemed today was just not my day for before I even had a chance to knock, the door swung open and there he was pajamas and all.

"Hey Ness."

"Hi, Billy. I'm sorry to wake you. Is Jake here? I really need to talk to him." I fiddled with the sleeves of my jacket as I spoke and I knew Billy took notice because his eyes never left my hands.

"He came in about a half hour ago, but left in a rush."

"Did you see where he was heading? It's really important that I—" I didn't have to say anything more because the soft breeze answered my question, for I caught the sudden aroma of rain, earth, and cinnamon. It was him, he was close, very close. "Important that I find him." I finished my sentence as I turned from the door and looked out across the un-kempt lawn towards the forest.

Jacob was almost invisible in the night, his dark features only blending in, yet as he got nearer to the house his figure slowly took form.

"You found me." He spoke across the lawn. His arms crossed firmly against his chest. He seemed to be set on not coming any closer. He had no intention of making this easier for me.

"Goodnight, Billy." I said turning back towards the door. Billy only smiled, the corner of his mouth turning up, as if he was saying good-luck.

"Night, Ness." He closed the door and I could hear his wheelchair move back down the hallway towards his room.

I stood there on the tiny porch for what seemed like ten minutes before I walked toward Jacob. I really didn't know what I was going to say. Jacob never moved; he stood firmly planted.

His expression however had intensified as if in his mind he was running and re-running over everything he wanted to say and the things he knew he shouldn't say, the things that wouldn't help, the things that would just make it worse. If I hadn't been so terrified of what I was about to do I might have laughed.

"Did you come out all this way just to stand there silent or did you have something to say?"

"Why did you never tell me about you and my mom?" I found the words coming out of my mouth before I could stop myself. This wasn't the reason I had come, but it seemed it was the one thing I couldn't let go of just yet.

"So they told you." He took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling heavily before he moved closer. "I guess…I guess it was time you finally knew."

"You loved each other." I said simply trying to act casual, as casual as I could about a situation that had just altered my reality.

"Ness." He took three strides closer to me, bridging the gap between us. "It's not what you think."

"Then explain it to me, Jake." I stared up into his face, the streetlight making his features seem even darker. "Because I have never been more blind-sided or confused in my whole life as I am right now."

"Bella and I were friends before you were born and we grew closer over time." Jacob's body tightened as if he was restraining himself. "She and I…I mean I thought…I'm not doing this right!" He let out a frustrated sigh. I had never seen him so unglued. "I've thought about this a hundred times, I have tried to come up with the right words to explain it, to make you understand—"

"Then what are they?" I placed my hand on his crossed arm as if doing so would somehow calm him down.

"How can I explain to you something that even I don't understand?" Jacob spoke so fervently that I felt my stomach tighten. "Ness, I don't know why it happened the way it did, it just did. Back then, I thought I loved Bella, I thought she was the one, I fought for her, protected her, but I never understood why I never…" Jacob trailed off, his eyes glancing from the ground up to me.

"Why you never imprinted?" I said finishing his sentence for him as I removed my hand from his skin.

"It never made sense until…until I saw you that night." Jacob brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, something he hadn't done since I was a girl. "It was like my whole world shifted, and there you were. It was all for you. My time with Bella, the way I felt for her those last few years was just leading me to you, Ness."

"Did you ever kiss her?" The words had come out of my mouth before I could stop them. Why did I even want to know? I found myself shaking my head as if doing so would banish the confusing emotions from my mind. "Sorry, I don't know why I asked—"

"Only a couple of times." I could tell Jake was trying to make it sound casual, he shrugged his shoulders up and down as if it was no big deal, yeah right, no big deal that my best friend had made out with my mom!

"I shouldn't have asked." From the way my heart was rapidly beating I knew that the truth it seemed was too much for me to take.

"If it's any consolation, she sprained her hand the first time from punching me in the face."

"And the second time?" I questioned.

"She was just trying to keep me from being stupid."

"Stupid?"

"Like getting myself killed in a fight with newborns." Jacob chuckled to himself. "I was a bit extreme back then." Jacob sighed, the memory it seemed fading. "Look, Ness, I know this is a lot to take in. Trust me, but the truth is I haven't thought about Bella that way in over seventeen years. Honestly, I can't really even remember feeling that way at all. Nothing else has mattered, past, present or future, but you."

The way he looked at me as he said those words terrified me. I had never been more aware of him or myself as I was in that one moment.

"Why didn't you ever tell me, Jake? After all these years, why keep it all a secret? Why didn't they tell me?" I bit my lip to keep my emotions at bay. I felt like the world was spinning and at any moment it would force me off the edge.

"I was afraid."

"Afraid?"

"We all knew one day you would come to know the truth. We've even talked about how we would do it. I guess it never happens the way you think it will." Jacob spoke more to himself and the night than to me.

"Why were you scared, Jake?" I took a step closer towards him trying to catch his gaze. "Why are you scared, Jake?"

"I didn't want to loose you." His brown eyes found mine in the darkness. "I can't loose you."

In those few seconds as we simply stood there together, I saw my life through his eyes. I saw all that he hoped I would be to him, yet despite all of that, despite the knowledge I had about our past, I still felt the same.

"But none of it matters now anyway." He sighed taking a step away from me. "It seems history has a way of repeating itself."

"Jake, you need to let me explain. What you over heard tonight was—"

"I get it Ness. Trust me, I get it." Jacob held up his hand as if saying anything more was only going to make the situation worse. I chose not to listen.

"Please, Jake, just hear me out." I placed my hand on his arm again and I felt him relax slightly under my touch. "I know you're hurt, but please just let me explain." He turned his head and sighed deep. I knew he had given in to me. I knew I had his attention. "You should have been the first one to know. It should never have happened like this, you overhearing it and everything. I'm sorry for that, but you were right about me this afternoon. I have been avoiding everyone, mostly you because I…I didn't have the courage to tell the truth."

"And now you do?" He spoke, his tone deep and grating.

"Not really, I don't want to have to have this kind of courage." I could see Jacob's face twist into confusion. "I don't want to have that kind of courage, the courage it takes to tell my best friend…you need…you need to know the truth and I am sorry—" Jacob's head turned away from me and I could tell he was shaking. I didn't know what to do. How do you comfort someone, when the cause of their pain is your own doing? "Jake, you're my best friend, you've been everything to me—"

"Just not enough, apparently." His eyes burned with an intensity I had never seen before.

I took a step back, suddenly for the first time in my whole life, I was afraid of him. He noticed my sudden apprehension and stiffened in response. I could tell he was trying to control his emotions, but was failing miserably at it.

"Jake, I care about you…so much." I whispered. I felt a tear fall on my cheek and I wiped it away with my hand.

I looked back up at him, his expression changed, he was no longer angry, no longer fuming with heat, rather there was a deep longing in his eyes, a yearning that I had seen building within him these last few years. A longing I couldn't face yet.

He took a step closer to me bridging the gap between us. His sudden nearness left me dizzy, I didn't know what to do. He placed his hand softly on my cheek and the warmth radiated through me. His eyes caught mine as if he was willing for me to feel what I knew he felt.

"I know you do." Jacob's gentle breath was warm against my face. "I can sense the way I make you feel, I always have." I turned my face from his and I suddenly the thick wall went back up between us. Jacob took a deep breath and exhaled before continuing. "You're unique, Ness. You're different than the others. I think I have known for a while now that you would have a harder choice. I just kept hoping time would change things between us, that by being what you needed for however long you needed it there was a chance you might grow to feel the same way I do. I was wrong."

"Jake, I am…I'm so sorry. Growing up, I never really understood what all this meant to you. How hard it must have been for you." Now it was I who lifted my hand to his cheek and without meaning to I showed him images of my childhood, the memories I had been replaying in my mind these last few months.

Memories filled with times of playfulness in the newly laid snow, the gathering of witnesses in the great meadow, me on Jacob's back feeling afraid and confused, time flew on to scenes of learning how to hunt and track, swimming in the river during the summer, building sandcastles with his tribe on the beach, holidays, all of my childhood memories included him. He saw himself through my eyes as the protector, the caretaker, the teacher, the best friend, my other half. Yet, my memories changed and I saw in my mind what he saw now, times spent around the campfire on the reservation, the questioning I always had about the couples that were before me, how natural it was for each of them to touch, to kiss, the images switched to Emmett and Rosalie, to Jasper and Alice, to Carlisle and Esme, then finally to my parents. Then I showed him the one image that had been burned within me, himself looking at me that way he had been these last few years, the way he just had only minutes ago. The yearning and the longing held behind his dark eyes and then finally I revealed to him my heart, the resounding confusion and questioning echoed through me and into Jacob.

"I'm sorry Jake, I never meant to show you all of that." I retracted my hand ashamed that I had revealed to him so many things that I knew would bring him pain.

Jacob stumbled backwards as he looked down at the gravel road beneath our feet. He took a deep breath. I knew he was trying to compose himself.

"I needed…I needed to see for myself." He finally spoke.

"This is why I have to be honest with you, I care about you too much to keep living like this. I don't want…I don't want to hurt you anymore, Jake."

"So what, you're just going to leave?" His voice deepened, the anger had returned.

"I need time, Jake, time to figure out who I am, what I am. My whole family lives in this utopia environment all the time. They've found their lives and now they have the freedom to live it. I want to find mine. I just want to understand what being me means. I need to be in a different place with people who really understand."

"South America." He exhaled. "Nahuel." Jacob's jaw tightened as he said his name.

"His family is the only one we know of that are like me. When I was a child I never questioned what I was, it never made any difference to me. But now, since reaching maturity, it does, there are questions only he can answer, about this life and what it might hold for me. I have to go and see for myself."

"I'm sure Bella and Edward are thrilled about this one." He said with a slight chuckle, his feet digging a trench in the dirt as he shuffled his foot.

"They are trying to understand." I took a deep breath. "Am I wrong to do this?" I looked back up at him, I felt once again like a child and he had all the answers.

"You're just growing up, Ness." He smiled, my tension seeming to deplete. "You are wrong about one thing though." He exhaled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"And what's that?" I said with a teasing smile.

"No one will ever know you better than I do, Ness." I turned towards him and felt myself shake, but we both new it wasn't because of the sudden cold that blew across the open yard.

"I'm scared." I spoke so truthfully I surprised even myself.

Jacob as he had done a thousand times before encircled me in his arms. I had grown up here in the warmth and comfort of his bronzed skin, from a baby in his hands, to a girl on his shoulders, to now a woman in his embrace. To any outsider our strange relationship would seem absurd, but I knew deep in my heart that here in Jacob's arms was the only place I had ever felt truly safe and protected; all thoughts, which seemed to only, confuse me more.

"You're strong Ness, brave, smart." He whispered into my ear, his deep voice resonating within me. "You'll find the answers you're searching for."

_ And when you do I'll be here waiting for you. _A part of me wanted him to say it, but he didn't. The truth was I didn't know how long I would be gone, I didn't know how many months or even years it would take before I would be ready to come back home. I took a deep breath and gathered the courage to break away from his touch. I saw a tear quickly stream down his cheek. I was breaking him, I knew that, but I couldn't stay here anymore. That was a different sort of breaking, and I wasn't going to do that to him. I cared about him too much.

"I had better go. My family will want to see me before I leave." I retreated from his embrace and suddenly for the first time in a long time felt bitter cold. Jacob's warmth was gone from me, and I didn't know how long it would be before I felt it again.

"When are you leaving?" He spoke as he wiped the tears away from his face, not wanting me to see them.

"Tomorrow." I saw another shudder run through Jacob's body. Yet he tried to remain strong for me and that was what pained me even more. "Good-bye Jake." I spoke with as much of a smile as I could.

"Bye, Ness." The words themselves were painful to hear, and I knew they had been painful to say.

What was even harder was the next step I took as I turned away from him and fled back into the forest, leaving Jacob Black, my best friend, my everything, standing there alone in the moonlight night.


	2. Part 2:Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

**Part 2: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow**

"You should be able to track them south of Manaus. We were able to locate them along the Pa du Canhuma." Alice pointed to the map that was displayed across the grand dinning table.

"Don't be afraid of the locals, they won't be able to recognize your uniqueness. Most of them have only heard whispers of your kind and assume the opposite of what you are." Jasper mentioned.

"Which is what?" I asked inquisitively.

"A strikingly beautiful, young, _human_." Esme murmured as she kissed my forehead. "I still don't see why you must go alone."

"Agreed." Bella said with a sigh as she placed her hand a top mine.

"I'll be fine. I'm old enough to do this on my own. Plus, if I run into any trouble, I'll just make a break for Isle Esme and call you from there."

"Isle Esme." Edward said with a smile as he traced a finger across Bella's arm.

"It all started there, Nessie." Emmett chuckled. I threw a pencil at this forehead which he unfortunately caught mid-air.

"Cut it out Emmett, we all don't want to be reminded of that part of her history. So how long do you plan to be gone, Ness?" Rosalie asked from across the room. She above anyone wasn't too thrilled about me leaving.

"A year, maybe two, I really don't know." I saw everyone's face twist in pain as I spoke. "As long as it takes, I guess, but what's a few years for a family of vampires?" I spoke trying to lighten the mood. No one, apparently, had thought it funny.

"The sun is stronger down there near the equator so be wary of it. Try and stay out of its rays as much as possible. Your skin will begin to become more noticeable over time." Alice suggested.

"Oh and be careful of Serena, she has a feisty temper. She takes after her father apparently." Jasper spoke up. "Make sure to stay guarded around Jennifer, she tends to be territorial of Nahuel, and vice versa. Nahuel, although kind, is very protective of her, she is the closest one to him."

"Territorial?" I questioned not understanding.

"She will be very, very protective of him, wary of you trying to entice him into falling in love with you." Jasper stated plainly. I couldn't help but blush at his frankness.

"I wouldn't…I mean that's—"

"Of course not." My father said as he gave me a comforting wink.

"Who knows if I'll even meet them? Nahuel's sisters are migratory. They never stay in one place, let alone with him. Besides, he's over a hundred and fifty years old." I said making a slightly disgusted face.

"Didn't stop your parents." Emmett laughed, his whole body shaking from it.

"You might even see Zafrina, Senna, and Kachiri. They will probably pick up your scent, so don't be afraid if they find you." Jasper added.

"I would love to see Zafrina again." I said with a smile, remembering some of the beautiful pictures she had shown me as a child.

"Just be careful." Alice said with a sigh, her eyes glazing over as if seeing something.

"I will." I stood and gave her a hug. I stepped out of her embrace and looked around at my family.

"Well we had better say goodnight. You leave early tomorrow, the first flight out." Bella motioned her head towards the door as she stood.

"We can say goodbye tomorrow." Carlisle smiled faintly as he kissed the top of my head. "No need for goodbyes just yet."

I nodded my head and grabbed my father's extended hand. I followed behind him and my mom as we made our way out the door, leaving the rest of my family behind. I knew they wouldn't be sleeping, they never did. I was the only one who ever needed it, but somehow I wished that tonight I was just like them. That I could have one full night just to be with them all before I left.

"You okay?" My mom wrapped her arm around my waist and I laid my head on her shoulder as we followed the pebbled path down to our cottage.

"It's just harder than I thought." I mumbled into her shoulder.

"Saying goodbye always is." My father caught my mom's eyes in the dark and I wanted to ask what memory they were referring to, but I figured I had had enough of their history for one day.

The moonlight glimmered on the path as we approached our home. A funny notion passed through me, a sense that this could be the last night I would spend here caused me to shiver. I tried to press the terrible thought out of my mind.

"I'll be alright." I mumbled as we stepped into our cottage, my home for the last seventeen years. "I had better go finish packing my bag. I want as much time in the morning as possible."

"Of course, your mom and I will come check on you in a while."

"Unless you need help?"

"I'll be okay." I said with a smile before I turned to head to my room in the back of the cottage.

My half-packed bag lay atop my bed, I had begun once returning from the reservation. Just a few more shorts and shoes, a swimsuit, maybe a tank top or two and I would be good to go. What did a half-vampire, half-human wear in the middle of Brazil anyway? I shuffled around the room placing things left and right into the hiking bag before finally clamping it closed.

I was finally leaving. After years of pondering, of deciding, it was finally happening. My family was not excited about it or truly supportive, but I knew they never would be. There were a few things my family really did fall short on; being overly protective was not one of them. I knew it was going to be hard for them. I just never really had given much thought or consideration for how hard it was going to be for me. Yet here I sat, my bag fully packed, my private plane scheduled, my journey before me, and despite it all there seemed to be a large lump caught in my throat and a species of highly active butterflies caught in my stomach.

I took a deep breath and lay back on my bed. I just needed to convince myself that it all was going to be okay, that I could take care of myself, that doing this was right. I took another breath, but before I could try and convince myself harder there was a hard knock on the slidding glass door that led out into the garden.

"Hello?" I whispered as I flew to the door.

"It's me."

"Jake?" I questioned as I slide the door back. There he was, the one person I thought I wouldn't see again for a very long time. I guess a long time wasn't very long after all. "What…what are you doing here?" I asked as I stepped out into the night, closing the glass door behind me.

"Hey." Jacob exhaled, his eyes catching mine. "I know we already did all the goodbye stuff but I couldn't…I just couldn't let you go without…" Jake stood there in his khaki shorts and thin green t-shirt, his bronzed skin almost black in the moonlight. His body, although a steady 108 degrees temperature on most days, shivered in the night air. Why was he nervous?

"Without what Jake?"

The intensity held behind his eyes made me take a step backwards. He took a step towards me forcing my body to run into the door behind me.

"Without doing this." His breath was warm against my face as he spoke. His body inches from mine.

Before I could even move out of his way, he reached up and gently cupped my face in his hands. I felt myself freeze within his touch, my breath catching in my throat. In one moment I felt his lips brush mine, they were soft and smooth, warm and sweet. His scent was intoxicating; the smell of musk, grass, cinnamon, and fresh fallen rain filled my nose.

His lips moved against mine tenderly, his hands firmly held me to him, his warm body pressed up against mine. It took me a second to realize what was happening, to realize that Jacob Black, my Jake, the person whom I had known my whole life was kissing me. Instinctively my brain and body began to finally react. I fought him, my arms trying to push him away, pulling my face away from his.

"Jake, please." I spoke fervently as I tried to free myself from his hold. I felt a tear fall across my cheek, but I didn't understand why.

"Please, Ness, don't go. Stay here, stay with me."

I had never heard Jacob talk this way. Jacob who was always solid, secure, strong, looked so fragile, so vulnerable standing there in front of me, shaking, his face nearly inches from mine. I knew in that moment that I could kiss him back, that I could give into the part of me that had somehow come to care for him more than anyone in the world. I knew that I could stay here with him. I could do that, and for him, for my Jake, I nearly would.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I…can't. I just…I just can't."

I felt the tears stream down my face as I spoke, I didn't have the strength to brush them away. Jake's gaze never left mine. His eyes seemed to penetrate me in that moment, as if he was reading me, listening to my heart, trying to understand my mind, my emotions. When he seemed to have his answer he took a step back.

"Renesmee, are you okay?" I heard my father call from the other side of the door.

"She's fine Edward. I was just leaving." Jacob spoke aloud.

He took a single deep breath and with one reach he wiped away the tears that had streamed down my face. He took another step backwards away from me, then another step away from the garden, another step away from the cottage. I kept my eyes fixed on him until he reached the edge of the forest. I watched him turn one last time, his gaze on me.

"Goodbye, Ness." I heard him whisper across the distance. I began to raise my hand but he had turned and vanished into the darkness of the forest.

"Jake." I heard myself cry.

Within moments my father appeared in front of me. It had seemed easier for him to go around the cottage than through the closed door just behind me.

"Renesmee?" He questioned as he looked into my face.

It took me a moment before I was brave enough to look up at him. Yet when I did I crumpled into his arms. On instinct, as if I was suddenly a toddler again, my father picked me up and held me to him. He opened the door to my room and in a swift movement sat me on my bed, where my mother was waiting for me. There underneath my parents loving embrace, I laid the tears of my confused and wandering heart.


	3. Part 3:Love's Heavy Burden

**Part 3: Love's Heavy Burden**

"That was the hardest most painful thing I have ever had to do." Bella spoke as she sat down on the sofa in the middle of the living room. "I know why she wants to go, I know we must let her go, she is old enough to choose for herself how to live this life she has been given, but seeing her get on that airplane. I never imagined that it would make me feel like this."

"More painful than becoming a vampire?" Edward said with a slight smile as he rubbed Bella's back knowing that it would comfort her.

"Different kind of pain. I feel as if my whole body is aching, as if my heart is shattering slowly piece by piece." Bella nestled her head onto Edwards shoulder, her legs draping over his.

"I know how you feel. I felt that way when I tried leaving you." Edward murmured as he placed his arm around his wife, pulling her closer to him. "As vampires our emotions are heightened, we feel sorrow and pain, longing and yearning so deep within us that it manifests itself in such a way as you are feeling now. That's why loss can force a vampire to do unimaginable things."

"When will it stop?" Bella mumbled.

"When she returns." Edward felt the same way too, but he knew that the pain never ended until the person whom you missed was once again with you. They would have to live with the pain of their daughter's absence until they all were reunited again. "Seems we have company."

"It seems we do." Bella didn't even bother to move, for the familiar scent and sound of her old friend filled her senses.

Jacob had become so present in their lives the last seventeen years that his presence was fluid, coming and going easily as the wind. His appearance was never alarming or surprising but rather expected always. He let himself in the front door and made his way to sit beside them in the armchair nearest the bookcase.

Bella had never seen Jake like this before, to her he had always been the sun, warm, glowing, although sometimes tempestuous mainly life-giving. That Jacob was gone. In the last twenty-four hours since she had seen him last his whole demeanor had changed. The man who sat in front of her was lifeless, slow moving, devoid of all brightness or warmth. He seemed half-alive, if that was even possible. It dawned on her only then that as painful as this was for her, she was sure now that what she was feeling was nothing compared to her friend.

"I'm sorry you couldn't be there to see her off." Edward mumbled as his eyes left mine and found their way to Jacob.

"I thought it was better for her if I stayed behind. Besides we said our good-bye last night."

"We heard." Bella spoke with a nod.

"Sorry about that. I shouldn't have…I mean it was all wrong…we had a proper good-bye before and then I saw her leave and I just couldn't let her go without—"

"Timing's never really been your strong suit Jake." Edward said with a smile, but it didn't last for long for Bella punched his arm hard.

"Tell me about it. Was she mad?" Jake ran a hand over his face as if doing so would take back what he had done. When he didn't hear their response he looked up to find them only looking at each other as if deciding what was best to say. "She was wasn't she? I knew she would be."

"She's just confused, Jacob." Edward spoke calmly his eyes gazing back over at Jacob.

"Of course she is. I mean after all that happened between the three of us, how could she not be?" He exhaled. "No offense."

"None taken. You didn't tell her everything right?" Bella eyed him from across the room. Yet it was Jacob boyish expression of guilt that gave him away.

"Jacob!" Bella sat up straighter and threw the nearest pillow at his face. Jacob caught it just moments before it crashed into his face.

"She asked, Bella?! What was I supposed to do lie? She was bound to find out one way or another. So what if she knows that you and I kissed a couple of times?"

"I'm surprised she would even talk to me last night then."

"She doesn't blame you, Bella. She understands." Edward said comfortingly.

"How did everything get so complicated? It wasn't supposed to be like this." Jacob let out a large exhale as he sunk even lower in his chair.

"No matter what Renesmee may have told you Jake, there is no other person whom she cares for more than you. You two have a connection, whether she is ready to admit it or not. She just needs time to realize for herself how much she needs you."

"What if she doesn't though, Bella? What if she never does? What am I suppose to do?"

"We'll figure it out together, Jake. You are a part of this family, you always have been, and you always will be."

"You think Alice would have given us a heads up. 'Oh by the way Jake, Ness is about to tell you that she will be leaving tomorrow, just thought you would want to know'. It would have been nice." Jacob knew he was unleashing his temper. This wasn't Alice's fault, it was no body's fault, it just happened. Yet that was easier said than believed.

"Alice can only see possible outcomes from possible choices." Bella ran a hand through her hair. "She sees the two of you only through the lenses of other's decisions. You and Renesmee have always been blind spots in her vision. Your future is a wonderful mystery to her."

"Just great." Jacob sighed again as he rubbed his face with his hands, sitting forward in his chair.

"It'll be okay, Jake. She'll be back." Edward nodded assuredly.

"I think I may head north for a while. Clear my head." Jacob stood signaling his departure.

"Don't be gone too long, Jake. We'll miss you." Bella within a moment was by his side, her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Jeez, Bella." Jacob winced from her bone-crushing embrace. Bella let up slightly but didn't let go.

"Give her time, Jake. Trust me." She whispered into his ear. She felt him weaken at her words and she squeezed him one last time before slowly letting him go.

"You are always welcome here, Jacob. No matter how long she is gone, this will always be your home too." Edward rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks." He said with a blank smile before he took a step towards the door. "See you later."

Before either Jacob or Bella could say anymore he was out the door and gone from their sight. Edward wrapped his arm around his wife and kissed the top of her head.

"How long do you think it will take before his journey north takes a hard detour south?" Edward said with a broad smile.

"I give it a week at the most." Bella laughed.

"You think Ness will mind him interrupting her journey to self-discovery?" Edward questioned as he led them back to their bedroom.

"A couple of nights alone in the jungle will solve that problem." Bella smiled up at him and she saw his eyes cloud over.

Before he could protest she pushed him up against the hallway wall, forcing several family pictures to crash to the floor. Edward seemed pleasurably startled, his mind side-tracked from his recent over-protective thoughts. Bella only laughed and placed a deep crushing kiss on his lips.


	4. Part 4: Burning Daylight

**Part 4: Burning Daylight**

Never before had I seen any place more alive than the jungle of the Amazons. All around were new sounds, exotic birds that contained more vibrant colors within their many feathers, the lush bright greens of the trees and leaves were more vivid than the deep forests back home. The sound of rushing water was all around me, from the great river whose path I had followed south upon arriving in Manaus, to the waterfalls and streams I could pick up in the distance. I was, for what felt like the first time in years, fully alive.

I tested my speed and agility as I rushed through the jungle only stopping when I came across something that was too fascinating to miss. I had found along my journey a waterfall so high that even the sun blocked me from seeing the top, a spotted leopard laying up in the trees, and the most terrifying snake that seemed more scared by my sudden arrival than I was by its ability to blend into the world around it.

I continued making my way southwest along the river until I felt as if I needed to stop. Taking my bag off my shoulders made me feel lighter. I hadn't realized how much I had been carrying. I pulled out the map that I had bought at the airport and made slight markings of my tracks so that I would know what area I had covered.

Alice had said to go south. Right now I was at least a day outside of Coari. Yet despite the amount of land I had covered in just my first few days, I had yet to pick up on any trail or scent that would lead me to Nahuel. I knew him and his aunt to be migratory, yet he never seemed to be inclined to leave the jungle where he had grown up. I could only hope that somewhere deep within these lush trees I would find them. The sun grew low on the horizon; it's rays almost non-existent through the density of the vegetation around me.

Glancing up into the trees, I spotted a place to rest. Grabbing my bag I swung it over onto my shoulders and griped the tree. Climbing it would be more difficult than I anticipated. Back home, the limbs were lower making climbing any of the largest trees easy, these however were much, much higher. Very carefully I made some handle holds and shimmied up the tree until I reached the largest branch. I tied my bag to the adjacent limb, securing it tightly so it wouldn't fall. I leaned back against the cool bark and smiled.

I had picked the perfect spot. From the tall perch where I sat, I could see out over the jungle. The river snaked and cut across the land, the trees were so far and so dense that they all molded together to resemble more like a wide expanse of green fields. I sat and watched the sun slowly descend behind the line of trees until the sky looked as if it were on fire, then the oranges, reds, and yellows of the sky faded to blue and then black. That was when the stars showed themselves. It truly was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I felt my eyes close as my ears listened to the sounds of the night, and found that a smile still lay on my lips even as I felt myself fall to sleep.

The next weeks were filled with the same wonderful routine. I awoke early as the sun made its way into the tops of the trees, re-packed by bag, and made my way along the map, crossing over the territory I covered that day. I would run through the jungle for a period of time and then walk when I felt like taking the scenery in, which was the majority of the time. Several times I caught the warm smell of humans, tourists on hiking trails, on the river, or scientists and preservationists about their work. I figured a single white female alone in the jungle would cause more questions than necessary so I dutifully avoided their presence when I came upon them. It was mostly just the plentiful wildlife and I amid the beauty of the most natural world I had ever seen.

I stopped and sketched the places where simply a photo wouldn't do it justice; my notebook was becoming full of pictures of birds, monkeys, trees, flowers, and waterfalls. I figured Esme and Rosalie would enjoy seeing the beauty that I now saw. It was in one of those moments when I seemed to find my very first friend.

"Why hello." I said through a laugh as a little brown monkey found it's way onto my shoulder. It seemed not one bit concerned with my presence or pale coloring. "Where did you come from?"

I reached into my bag and grabbed a piece of fruit I had been saving, I lifted it to him and he grasped it quickly. His screech seemed an appropriate thank you. I laughed as he hopped down from my shoulder onto the forest floor. I put away my sketchbook and decided I could recall the flower tonight. I watched amazed as my new little friend eyed my bag and quickly jumped onto it as if seeking more of what I had given.

"I'm sorry. That's all there is." I shrugged my shoulders. His screech only intensified. "I wish I had more to give you little friend, but I don't."

The little monkey only eyed me harder with its black eyes as if doing so would somehow change the situation. I smiled as cheerfully as I could but it was no use, my little friend soon lost interest and scurried back up into the trees from which it had come.

"Pesty little things aren't they." A voice suddenly spoke from behind me.

I turned to catch sight of them but they moved too quickly. I definitely wasn't alone, and the being was definitely not human. I didn't understand why I had not picked up on their scent. I should have heard or smelled them as they arrived.

"Hello?" I spoke calmly. I wanted to give no reason for harm.

"You seem familiar to me." It was a woman voice, I was sure of it, but this time it was different. So there were two of them. "You are new to these parts, yes?"

"Yes, just traveling. Maybe you know my family, the Cullens?" I hoped my family name would offer good tidings.

"The Cullens?" At the mention of my last name they instantly revealed themselves.

"Zafrina? Senna?" I spoke recognizing them both from all those years ago. "It's me, Renesmee Cullen."

"Could it really be?" Senna spoke as she parted the vines to make her way to me.

"You have grown into maturity." Zafrina stated plainly. "Quite stunning."

I couldn't help but blush as the two of them stared at me for what seemed like minutes. Their eyes took in everything about me from my wavy brown hair to my hiking boots encrusted with mud.

"You look…human." Senna mumbled more to Zafrina than to me. Her sister only agreed.

"Only an immortal would notice the difference, her skin glimmers slightly in the sunlight faint but still, her movements are more careless, less exact than a vampires, and her heart. Your heartbeat is...fascinating."

"But what are you doing out here alone?" Senna glanced around as if making sure she was accurate. "We have been following your scent for days. We have been hunting south of here, but ran across your trail. We didn't recognize it so we continued."

"I came to find Nahuel and his aunt Huilen." I spoke with a smile. "Alice said she was able to locate them south of Manuas. I have been heading southwest for the last few weeks hoping to track them."

"By yourself?" Senna mentioned again, yet this time her voice seemed concerned.

"Yes." I glanced between the two of them. "Where is Kachiri?" I asked suddenly remembering the third member of their family. "Does she no longer live with you?"

"These jungles are not safe for our kind anymore. Especially one who is alone." Zafrina moved closer towards Senna resting her hand on her sisters shoulder. I saw the deep sorrow in both of their eyes and realized the truth.

"I'm so…I'm so terribly sorry." I stood and made my way towards them.

"Certain ancient tribes throughout the land have grown to know more and more of our kind over the years. More and more have grown violent. That was why we have moved more north, the southern tribes are the most hostile."

"Humans threaten you?" I questioned.

"Humans no, but those much like your tribes." Senna nodded her head.

"The Quileute? They are at peace with my family and have been for years. They are not violent towards us."

"To your family no, but to others, to other vampires they may not be so kind." Zafrina stated so intensely that I knew I couldn't argue with her.

"Do you know where I can find Nahuel?" I asked hoping that over the years their paths may have crossed.

"He and his aunt travel through these parts many times during the year. His sisters visit as well." Senna stated.

"We saw them last many moons ago." Zafrina nodded in agreement with her sister.

"Do you know which way they were traveling?"

"Southwest." Zafrina eyes caught mine. "I can show you."

Within seconds the world around me changed. I was no longer in the middle of the jungle, but near a large lagoon, three large waterfalls fell into the deep blue water. As I turned I saw on the edge of the clearing four wooden structures, buildings that seemed more apart of the land than made. The paths along the ground looked well worn. The low-lying vegetation was filled with yellow and red flowers, a kind I had never seen before. Yet before I could see anymore the images vanished and I was once again with Senna and Zafrina.

"It's beautiful." I smiled up at the two of them.

"That is where they always return. We came upon them many decades ago, by now it could be gone."

"It is the only thing I have to go off of for now."

"I urge you not to go." Senna took my arm her touch was firm. "Any more south and you might be put into danger."

"I must. Nahuel is the only one I know of who is like me." I looked between the two of them. "He is the only one who will have the answers to all my questions about our kind. Thank you for all your help. I am so glad you found me." I reached down to pack my bag.

"We will take you there." Zafrina stated as she kneeled down in front of me.

My eyes caught hers once more. She immediately showed me a memory from my childhood. I saw my home and my family, we all stood saying goodbye to those who had come to witness for me. It was as if I was actually there, as if I had gone back into time. I saw myself as a young girl, I held onto my mother and father's hand as people waved goodbye to me. The image shifted, as if time had passed. Zafrina stood before me saying goodbye. Yet this time Jacob carried me, his bronzed arms around me, my head against his shoulder. I heard him sigh and rest his head atop of mine.

I blinked and it all was gone. I once again was filled with the overwhelming noises of the jungle, the smell, and taste of it. There was a sudden ache in my body from what I had just seen. Yet I suppressed it as I glanced back at the two, bronzed women before me.

"For your family's sake we will see you safely to Nahuel." Zafrina nodded at me as if there was no alternative. She glanced up at Senna, who on the other hand looked as if she was hoping her sister changed her mind. "We must Senna. It is our duty."

"So be it sister."

For the next three days we traveled further and further into the jungle. Zafrina and Senna were unlike any vampires I had ever spent time with. Thankfully, they chose to feed at night, while I slept. They were well aware of my choice of diet and graciously respected it during our time together. The two vampires were fierce and always on edge as if at any moment a battle might emerge. I had never before been so aware of my surrounding as I was with them. I covered more territory with them in those short days than I had the past two weeks by myself.

From the round-a-bout track we were taking it seemed that Zafrina knew exactly where she was heading, and they seemed uninterested in any unnecessary stops, much to my dismay for there had been so many incredible sights to behold along the way. The humanness in me was tired and I could tell my body was responding to the constant speed we were keeping. Senna noticed as well and it seemed to trouble her, as if slowing down our pace posed more trouble. Yet Zafrina understood and matched the pace that I could keep.

"Let's stop for the night. I need to sleep." I spoke aloud as I came to a halt.

"We must continue." Senna spoke aloud as she eyed her sister.

"She must rest before we continue on." Zafrina spoke firmly.

With a grateful smile I took of my hiking bag and placed it against the nearest tree trunk. Rummaging through it I was able to find the food I had been saving. The granola bar was hard but edible, at least to me. I slumped down against my bag feeling relief for the first time in days. I heard the sound of their native tongue as I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.

It seemed as if my eyes had only been closed for a second before I felt a firm pull on my arm. I had been lifted onto my feet forcefully. I opened my eyes only to see Senna in front of me.

"We must run now!" Zafrina grabbed my bag from the ground and ran ahead of me. I saw Senna follow her and so did I.

"What's wrong?" I hollered as we made our way through the jungle at the fastest speed I could go, Zafrina looked back over her shoulder at me and then behind me.

"They tracked us." Senna yelled beside me a look of terror on her face.

"Who?" I asked but neither answered my question, they just increased their speed.

It was only then that I picked up what they had been hearing the whole time, the heavy sound of something chasing us. Yet, it wasn't just one, it was dozens. It didn't sound like other vampires, it sounded more like…more like animals. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw through the darkness nine pairs of large yellow eyes. They moved in the night just, if not more agile, than we did. I could hear their positions changing. Four stayed behind, five split into two and three moving on either side of us. They were closing in.

"Renesmee, hurry, they are gaining." Zafrina called into the night.

Senna and I moved faster until we reached her just ahead of us. All three of us ran side by side of each other through the jungle. Yet I heard them surround us. Zafrina held my arm forcing us to a sudden halt.

"We will have to fight." She spoke so low that it unnerved me.

I turned from where we stood, Senna on my left, Zafrina on my right. They looked vicious even in the darkness. I could tell that this wasn't their first battle. I on the other hand had never experienced a fight before. I was trained by the best, but it was only for pretend. A sudden fear swept through me as I stood bracing myself for what was about to come. It was in that moment that I regretted coming, but more so regretted coming alone. I heard their pace slow down. All nine of them surrounded us, their feet crunched the ground as they moved closer.

"They will try and divide us." Senna spoke into my ear. "We must stay close together."

"I will do what I can." Zafrina motioned to her eyes and I knew she had all the intention of using whatever power she had to help us get out of here.

My eyes scanned all that was around us. I waited for what was to come. As I looked out into the night, I saw the same bright yellow eyes moving towards us. I could smell them. It was definitely some kind of animal. They were warm and dirty, a spicy smell fell over them as well. Yet it was the sound that escaped around me that confirmed what I was beginning to understand. It was the distinct cry of a leopard. We were being surrounded by nine of the largest leopards I had ever seen. My mind immediately thought of Jacob and his tribe. Could these creatures be the same?

The leader, at least I assumed, was the largest, black as the night that surrounded us, which had made him nearly invisible. It moved closer before letting out a cry. All at once as if signaled, they moved towards us. Their shoulders swaying back and forth, any moment and the fight would begin.

A hot wind blew through the jungle and when it did my heart stopped. For with it came the familiar scent of new fallen rain, musk, and cinnamon. Out of the corner of my left eye I quickly saw a large brown wolf jump in front of me. His howl forced the black leopard to stop moving, for the wolf was twice its size. The leopard gave a large cry signaling the others to stop as well.

"It can't be." Senna questioned her face turning to me in the night.

"How did he find us so quickly?" Zafrina asked me.

"Jacob." I whispered in shock as I stepped forward.

Jacob turned his head to me and I caught his brown eyes. He raised his head up and howled so loud that it made everyone but me take a step backwards. He looked at me once more before turning his attention back on the other animals. There seemed but a few moments before anything happened. The leopards beside us moved slowly back towards the others and it's leader until all nine of them now faced us. Their white fangs glistened in the moonlight that filtered through the top of the jungle's canopy.

Jacob growled, his body lowering as if ready for what he knew was about to come. Yet they didn't move. The leopards just seemed to reverse their steps, slowly inching away from us until finally they turned and vanished into the night. Jacob no longer held his defensive position he simply turned to face the three of us. He took a step forward until his nose was near my shoulder. I rested my hand on his head and ran it down his cheek. He swung his head and then ran off into the darkness.

"Where is he going?" Senna asked quickly her eyes gazing back into the jungle.

"They are gone sister. Between the wolf, us, and being blind, they didn't have a chance."

"You used your power?" I asked.

"Only at the end, so that they would know their disadvantage." Zafrina placed my bag on the ground, content that we were safe.

"It's a good thing your friend has been tracking us for the last few days. We might not have made it if he hadn't gotten here so quickly."

"Jacob's been following us?!" I exclaimed.

"It's not what you think, Ness." Jacob emerged from the jungle zipping up his khaki shorts. He seemed fit to not care about putting on his shirt, it simply hung from his bare shoulder, he held up his hands as if he was prepared for a second attack.

"That's becoming your new line, Jake." I grabbed my bag quickly and lifted it onto my shoulders.

"Ness—"

"What are you doing here!?" I cried as I hastily tried to fasten the straps around my waist, when they wouldn't click I threw my hands down in frustration.

"Saving your skin by the looks of it." Jacob turned his head towards the direction where the leopards had vanished. "What where those things anyway?"

"They are more your kin than human." Senna began to explain. "An indigenous tribe that presides over parts of this land. For the last century they decided to extend their borders."

"They're leopards?" Jacob muttered.

"It was the animal their chiefs chose long ago." Zafrina mumbled. "We had better move on. They could return with more. Our path turns west here, we will not go further south."

Senna matched Zafrina pace once again and I kept a step behind them, Jacob had found a rhythm a few steps even behind me, keeping watch. We moved in silence until the moon rose high above us. It wasn't until I asked to stop that Zafrina agreed. We were able to make a small camp by the side of a large stream.

"We go to hunt. You two should be safe here." Zafrina spoke with a nod before she and Senna vanished.

I placed my hands into the cool water of the stream and splashed it on my arms and neck. The difference in temperature felt so wonderful. I glanced back at Jacob, he had found a rock to rest against, his shirt serving as a pillow. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling with each breath. I sighed as I made my way back towards my bag.

"So a thank you is in order I think." Jacob mumbled. His eyes were still closed, yet he crossed his arms letting them rest against his chest.

"For what? You're the one who showed up uninvited." I muttered as I rummaged through my bag to find the map I had been marking off.

"I saved your life, Ness. If it weren't for me you'd all be leopard meat by now. How do you think Bella and Edward would feel about that, hugh? Not to mention Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Alice—" Jacob sat up his eyes staring at me from across the way.

"We could…I could have handled it." I exclaimed. "Where is it!?"

I zipped up all the pouches I had just unzipped, my frustration rising. I had become more and more unglued over the last few hours, and I knew the person lying in front of me was entirely responsible.

"Right." He said with a slight laugh. "So was this your plan all along, come to South America only to get yourself killed?"

"Jasper and Emmett taught me well."

"They taught you how to fight vampires. Shape-shifters…big difference."

"I would have been fine." I gave up and with a large sigh as I sat down against the tree my bag had been resting on.

"Keep telling yourself that." Jacob closed his eyes again and leaned his head back against his t-shirt.

I watched on as Jacob fell asleep. I tried to close my eyes but couldn't. My emotions were too heightened. I half blamed the almost near death experience, but if I was being honest the sudden unexpected arrival of Jacob was what was now sending me over the edge. I knew I should have told him how grateful I was for what he had done, but that would mean that I needed him. I was angry, as angry as I had ever been in my whole life. If I couldn't survive on my own for even a few weeks, what did that say about me? I had come here alone for a reason. I needed to do this by myself, and now it seemed that Jacob was making even that impossible.

The jungle was pitch black. The light from the half-moon was now fully blocked by the jungle's foliage. My eyes could only see so far in this new darkness. The image of the black leopard flashed in front of my face. Instinctively, I stood and gathered dry branches, making a small pile for a fire. I found several rocks to create a circular barrier for the embers and rummaged through my bag again to find the lighter I had stowed.

"108 degrees over here."

I heard Jacob mumble behind me. I rolled my eyes at his comment; he would assume that I was seeking warmth given the slow fall of temperature. Being near him would be the simplest solution to my real problem, my own steady fear, but giving in would mean something else entirely.

"A fire is sufficient." I said as I lit one branch and placed it on the others. In minutes the fire was at a manageable size. The surrounding darkness keenly light up making my eyes see more clearly into the jungle that encompassed us.

"If the Amazon parks and recreation staff find us and haul our butts to a Brazilian prison, don't blame me."

"I won't." I said through a forced smile as I sat back against the tree.

Already the light from the fire was making me feel better. I gazed into it and couldn't help but remember those first few nights I had spent perched on the jungle's trees watching the sunset. How had things changed so drastically since then? I still hadn't found Nahuel, a tribe of shape-shifting leopards had almost eaten me, and now Jacob, the one person I had needed to get away from, was lying two feet from me. If I hadn't been so angry I might have laughed.

"Zafrina and Senna should be back by now." I muttered into the night. "Do you think something happened to them?"

"Nope, they just went farther north near one of the cities to hunt." Jacob opened his eyes and glanced up at me. "They'll return in a couple of hours."

A silence filled the void between us. The only sounds were of the animals in the trees, the stream that ran beside us, and the fire that crackled. I took a deep breath and glanced back over at Jacob, his dark eyes hadn't left me.

"What are you doing here Jacob?" Finally asking the one question that had been burning in my mind since I had caught his scent in the wind. "Have you been following me the whole time?"

"No, just since you met up with the two amazons."

"So why did you come here? Did my family send you to spy on me?"

"No, it's not like that all. As much as it pains them to be away from you, they trust you."

"You just don't, is that it? You don't think I can take care of myself?" I threw another branch into the fire causing it to smoke even more, forcing me to cough as I breathed it in.

Jacob just stared at the fire. I could tell he was contemplating what to say and how to say it, his whole body language spoke of indecisiveness.

"I didn't set out to come down here, Ness." He mumbled as he ran a hand over the stumble on his face. "I was headed north towards the Canada border, the total opposite direction, but when I finally came to and realized where I was, I was in Southern California. I guess I just involuntarily switched routes. By that time I could either turn around and head back home or keep going. I just…I just kept going."

"Three weeks, thousands of miles of terrain?" I exhaled. "There are not a lot of wolves in Mexico or South America. What if someone had spotted you?"

"I took turns phasing." Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, I didn't know if I would even find you, and I swear I never intended to let you see me. Several days ago I caught the scent of two vampires, I thought they could be Nahuel's sisters and I tracked them, but then they ran into you. At that point, I decided to keep a far distance. Last night I heard you three running away at such a fast pace that I knew something had to be wrong. I just couldn't stand there and let something happen to you." Jacob sat up straighter, finally deciding to put his light blue t-shirt on.

"Just looking at you would give your story merit." I glanced at the holes in his clothing from where his teeth had held them in his mouth while transformed. A soft beard was slowly starting to form. "You didn't answer my question." I looked at him through the fire. His head turned towards me a blank confused expression crossed his face. "Why are you here, Jake?" I asked again slowly, my voice sounded pained, but I hadn't intended it to.

"I…I don't know, Nessie. I just—"

"I thought you more than anyone knew how important this was for me. How much I needed time alone. Away from…away from everything."

"I know." He exhaled. "I'm sorry for screwing it up."

"I need you to go, Jake. I need you to go back home."

I turned my face from the fire and glanced down at my hands unable to look at him as I said the words I knew would hurt him. When he didn't answer for a while I finally found the courage to look over at him. He was hunched over his knees, his arms around his legs, his face lit up from the fire. He caught my gaze and just nodded slowly.

"If that's what you want, I'll leave first thing in the morning." He muttered, his deep voice filling the gap between us. I just nodded in agreement as if what he said was best.

I placed my bag on the ground creating a pillow. As hard as it had been to tell Jacob to leave, it seemed it was even harder to sleep after it. My mind and its thoughts were so jumbled that it took nearly an hour for me to calm down. I knew Jacob could hear my heartbeat, which made things only worse. It wasn't until I heard the familiar native language of Zafrina and Senna signaling their return that I felt the world around me slip away.

_I moved through the jungle like lightning. My body ducked under low branches, soared over streams, jumped off waterfalls, I was strong, the strongest the fastest I had ever been. I giggled, delighted with myself. I flew through the vegetation until I stumbled upon a wide opening; my pace slowed as I brushed back the vines and followed the sound of the rushing water. The vegetation had fallen away and before me was the most beautiful waterfall I had ever seen, higher than even the tallest one I had seen weeks ago, its rushing water sent mist high into the air as it plummeted into the river that rapidly moved past me. _

_ I turned and gazed down the edge of the rushing water only to see my father and mother walking hand in hand along the riverbed. Upon noticing me they smiled and waved, increasing their pace. I sprinted towards them but halted when I saw what was moving behind them._

_ A blood-curdling scream escaped my lips, dozens of leopards were closing in on us. There was no time; their claws were already sinking into the rich soil, their fangs sharp in the sunlight, in seconds all of them would be gaining on my parents. I screamed again and pointed for them to turn and see; yet they seemed unaware and unmoved. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. _

_ A large figure jumped over my head, landing heavily onto the jungle floor. It ran straight into the oncoming enemy. At that moment my parents turned and saw the imposing danger. My feet stood firm where I was, I couldn't move, I couldn't help. I watched on as my parents turned to fight alongside Jacob. They were only able to take down three before the rest descended upon them. _

_ My parents went down first, my body shook with pain as I saw them being shattered like glass upon the floor. Jacob held them off for as long as possible, killing as many as he could. Yet he too was unable to hold them on his own, the leader leaped onto his back and sunk it teeth into Jacob's fur, blood spilling from his wound. The rest descended upon him. _

_ My feet were finally free and I rushed to him, yet I wasn't quick enough. I heard myself screaming over and over as his body tumbled onto the jungle floor. I screamed his name as I saw his brown eyes slowly close. He was dead, my Jacob was dead and it was my fault. _

"Ness!" I heard my name being called. "Nessie, wake up!"

I felt warm hands on my shoulders and face as I forced my eyes open. I jumped up quickly, my body ramming into the tree behind me. Where was I? My mind was racing with the images I had just seen. My vision cleared and I looked on as I saw the stream, the campfire, and then Jacob. He stood in front of me, his eyes wide but focused on me. He was alive.

"Jacob!" Within moments I had flown to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me as possible. I found myself weeping for no reason as I held onto him.

"I'm right here, Ness." He responded instantly, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight, whispering into my ear. "You're all right. Everything is going to be okay."

"I saw…I thought…they killed…." I said through a sob.

I don't know why I was so overcome, but I let myself crumble into Jacob's arms. He ran his hand over my hair as I laid my head on his chest, whispering all the while that I was safe, that he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. If only he knew that I wasn't crying because of me, but because of him.

When my heart rate had finally leveled and I was able to breath again I took a step back out of his embrace. Jake didn't let go just yet but kept one hand on my waist, raising the other to wipe the tears that had fallen onto my cheeks.

"You okay, Ness?" He asked with such intensity that it made my heart speed up again.

"I will be." I nodded. "Just a bad dream."

I took a deep breath and looked around to see that Zafrina and Senna sat cross-legged near the fire. They seemed surprised but only nodded in my direction. I sat back down, leaning my head against the tree.

Jacob still stood in front of me as if not knowing whether to stay or go back to his place across the fire. I patted the space beside me and he just breathed deeply as he sat down by my side. His shoulder brushed against mine, a steady warmth filtering into my skin. I yawned and felt my eyes slowly trying to close.

"Sleep." I heard him whisper into my ear. I didn't protest, I just leaned my head against his warm shoulder and cradled my body towards him, letting sleep find me again.

I awoke the next morning to the slow and steady rise of Jacob's chest. I didn't know whether to blush or chide myself for the way I had acted last night. Jacob's heavy arm held me to him as our tangled bodies lay on the jungle floor.

Despite knowing him my whole life, this was definitely a first for both of us. My eyes caught Zafrina from across the way and it was her slow smile that made me blush deeper. I slowly tried untangling myself from Jacob yet doing so only made his eyes open. His dark brown eyes found mine and he just smiled as he moved his arm from around me.

"Good morning." He said through a yawn.

"Morning." I mumbled back as I sat up to straighten my clothes that had somehow twisted during the night, I ran a hand through my hair. I knew I probably looked like a disaster.

"We had better be moving." Senna spoke with assurance as her eyes scanned the jungle.

I stood and gathered my things and organized them in my bag. Jacob gathered himself as well and made sure to put out what as left of the fire. In a few minutes everything seemed to be in order and we all were prepared to leave for the day's journey. Zafrina and Senna moved forward through the trees and I took a step to follow them.

It was only then as I took that first step I realized Jacob wouldn't be coming with us. I turned from where I stood and looked at him, his hands in his pockets, a pained expression on his face. I heard Zafrina and Senna stop ahead of us, curious as to why we weren't following.

"Well this is goodbye then, again." Jacob muttered over the sound of the stream. "Be safe, Ness, please."

"I…I will, Jake." I didn't know what else to say.

"I guess I'll see you later." He said with a forced smile as he began to back away from me and make his way through the jungle heading in the opposite direction.

Images from my dream forced their way back into my mind. What if the tribe came back and found him? What if those terrible images from my dream came true? I tried to remember what I had said last night, the reason for why I wanted him to leave, those words I couldn't remember seemed more like the dream to me now.

My heartbeat was hard and heavy in my chest as the memories from last night faded into my mind, his soothing voice, his warm touch, what it had felt like to wake up to him. I was just as confused if not more now than when I had left home weeks ago. I had left him to get away from all of this, but seeing him walk away from me, leaving me here in the middle of the jungle was more than I could bear. I wanted him to stay, no matter what it may cost me in the end.

"Jacob, wait." I called to him, he stopped several yards in front of me and turned back, a resounding questioning held behind his stare. "It might be best…I mean we don't know if the tribes will come back. What I'm trying to say is that it wouldn't be such a big deal if you…if you stayed." I bit my lip as I looked at him waiting for his answer. He just smiled and hustled back over to where I stood.

"Well, let's get going then." He nodded as he ran ahead of me. I just rolled my eyes and pressed forward. We caught up with Zafrina and Senna within minutes.

"So I assume he's joining us." Zafrina's voice said upon noticing our arrival.

"Yeah, he is, I figured he might come in handy." I said with a smile as I turned to follow them through the jungle.

"Well it's only a half day journey to the site, if it's still there. We should be able to pick up their scent as we get closer."

"His scent is very unusual, much like yours." Senna motioned to me.

"Really?" I asked out of curiosity. I had never really given much thought to tracking my own scent. "But it is traceable, right?"

"Yeah, how else do you think we found you?" He smiled brightly, his mood changing with every second that passed. "I need to change though, it will heighten everything." Jacob muttered as he disappeared into the jungle.

"He does that a lot." Zafrina stated as she brushed away a low-lying branch.

"It just allows him to keep his clothes." I said with a smile.

Within moments Jacob had reappeared, his shorts and t-shirt hanging from his mouth. I took them from him and stuffed both items into my bag. He just nodded his head in approval. We made our way through the jungle at a pace that allowed us to take in the scents around us, we didn't want to move too quickly and miss something.

Every now and then Senna or Jacob would stop, causing us all to come to a halt, a few seconds would pass and they would just shake their heads and continue. We zig zagged through the undergrowth of the forest for the rest of the day making sure we covered every inch of the area.

The sun was high in the sky when we stopped for a break. Jacob seemed content to stay as he was and lay down on the forest floor, his brown eyes closing for a brief rest. Senna and Zafrina talked in their native tongue, making gestures and marking in the land with a twig. It seemed as if they were making a map.

I escaped my friends and traveled back to a group of mango trees I had seen. I smiled upon seeing them; in seconds I was sorting through its branches looking for the ripest ones to take back with me. I picked out four or five and stuffed them into by bag, but not before I cut one open and sank my teeth into its juicy core. The sweetness overpowered me and I sighed with relief as the sticky yellow juice ran down my face. I wiped it away with my hand and took another bite.

I turned to make my way back to my friends when I heard shuffling behind me. Instinctively I stopped and listened to the sounds around me, someone was moving in the brush. Within seconds a figure emerged and speed towards me, it was a woman. For a moment I thought it was Senna, but when the woman grabbed my neck and forced me against the tree, I thought against it. She was a vampire and she was strong. I grasped at her hands around my neck, but her touch only tightened. My eyes blurred and then refocused. Her face was familiar; her teeth however were not comforting. I screamed as much as I could as I prepared for what was about to come. What did happen to someone like me when bitten by a vampire?

"Huilen, stop!" A man's voice spoke loudly. The woman's grasp on me loosened enough for me to catch my senses.

"Nahuel." I whispered upon seeing his approaching figure. At the mention of the man's name Huilen released me entirely.

"How do you know my nephew?" She barked.

"I'm Renesmee Cullen." I spoke as I rubbed my neck where only seconds ago her hands had been.

I heard a growl approach and I knew Jacob had heard my cry, in seconds his body lurched from the green brush and he quickly approached my side. His body was hunched over ready for whatever might come. I saw Huilen fly backwards towards Nahuel, as if terrified of what Jacob might do. Senna and Zafrina appeared just behind him surveying the scene.

"Jake, its fine." I said as I placed my hand on his shoulder. At my touch he straightened and stopped barring his teeth.

"Renesmee?" Nahuel said with a large smile. "You have grown." He took a step forward his hands opened in a greeting. Jake snarled making him take a step back.

"Stop it Jacob."

"I'm sorry." Huilen face was blank, yet her black eyes pierced mine. "I did not recognize you."

"We have been hunting the last few days. You must forgive us."

"Hunting humans?" I asked as I rubbed my neck.

"I am learning to give up a human diet." Huilen's eyes glanced at Nahuel.

"Huilen and I were mid-hunt when we came across your scent."

"I could not control myself. I apologize."

"Females of our kind smell more human, more sweet." Nahuel said with a simple smile as if that explanation solved the issue. "Add that with the mango juice and it would be hard for any vampire to…resist."

"I didn't…I never knew." I looked up at him. I felt the juice on my lips and chin and suddenly felt embarrassed, wiping it quickly away with the back of my hand.

"What are you doing here, in the jungle?" He asked inquisitively.

"Looking for you." I said with a laugh. Upon hearing it, Nahuel simply joined in.

"Well you found us." He smiled. "I just wish it had been under better circumstances."

"Me too." I pulled a piece of my hair behind my ear. "I have been traveling for almost a month now. Senna and Zafrina found me, and Jacob saved us from a few vampire-eating leopards a few days ago. We have been traveling up and down the country looking for any trace of the two of you."

"Senna, Zafrina, it is good to see you again." Huilen nodded in their direction.

"Where is your sister?" Nahuel asked yet upon seeing their pained expression he understood. "I am afraid the tribes are growing stronger with each passing year. I am sorry for your loss."

Nahuel bowed his head in their direction as if giving their sister's memory honor. He let his eyes move to Jacob and I. "Welcome to the Amazon, to our home. Please join us." Nahuel held up his hand and eyed me, as if awaiting my movement. I took a step from Jacob's side and grasped Nahuel's hand. He slipped my arm through his and let it rest upon his tanned skin. "You must tell me all about your family. How are your parents? Your mother, Bella?" Nahuel asked as he guided me through unmarked paths in the jungle. Huilen, Zafrina, and Senna followed behind us, Jacob held the rear, his head hung low.

"Both are doing well, I believe they are content, enjoying this life together without conflict so far." I spoke honestly.

"I am glad to hear that. So I take it there has been no more movement from the…Volturi, is that correct?"

"We haven't heard a whisper from them since the day you arrived." I spoke. "It seems you put them at ease, at least for awhile."

"I am glad. Most beings, human or immortal, hate and fear what they do not understand."

"I agree. It seems the Volturi feared what I might become."

"Do you?" Nahuel's question hung in the air for a while. I was curious if he had any sort of gifts, for how could he know so quickly one of the deepest questions of my heart.

"I…I mean—"

"Not to worry Renesmee, there will be much time to discuss all that and more." He placed his hand on top of my arm and patted it kindly.

"Your Aunt, Alice, how is she? And Jasper, he was always a strange one as well."

"Alice is still Alice. Jasper has settled over the last decade or so, I think. He is becoming more tolerable of our choice of diet. They were the ones who told me how to find you, although if it hadn't been for Zafrina and Senna, I probably would be lost."

"Well, I am glad then, for it does me and Huilen much good to see you so well. You were but a newborn when we first met, it pleases me to see you now that you have reached maturity. You are quite fascinating." Nahuel whispered so that only I might hear, yet I knew everyone could. Judging from the large snuff from Jacob in the back, the whole group had heard it.

"Do you still have a home around here?" I asked quickly changing the subject.

"Yes, not far. It's quite isolated due to the surrounding rivers, yet it is quite beautiful. We have come and gone many times over the years as we have traveled. It is still home. It is just right through these trees."

Nahuel pointed ahead of us, the path grew larger as the trees became less dense. Nahuel brushed back the bushes ahead of us. He stopped and extended his hand as if directing me to go first. I took a step forward and was taken aback by the scene before me. Yet I knew I had seen it before. Zafrina's image was perfect, yet it had not given its expanse justice. The waterfalls, the lagoon, the low lying trees, it all seemed much larger in reality. I breathed in the sweet smells of the flowers that bloomed all around us, red and white blossoms scattered among the bushes. Fruit trees grew around the lagoon as well, certain kinds that I had never seen before. The land felt sacred somehow, as if it were an oasis in the heart of the jungle.

"It's breathtaking." I said as I felt Nahuel brush past me. "I've never seen anything like it."

"It's home." He motioned for us all to follow him.

We walked along the lagoon until we reached the end of the clearing where the four wooden houses stood. Each one was different, two were round, one smaller than the other, the other two were rectangle and much larger. It seemed as if the long rectangle houses held many different rooms, at least four per house, whereas the round ones were just one large open space.

"Did you build all this?" I asked upon seeing the structures.

"Yes, by hand. We gathered the needed wood from the jungle. Everything you see comes from the land. We use the small huts for storage and the largest one for living, cooking, and working."

I felt Jacob come along side me, nudging my elbow and then sniffed my bag. I unzipped it and tossed him his clothes, figuring that was what he wanted. He caught them in his mouth before disappearing into the forest.

"Renesmee, please follow me. You can stay here." Nahuel motioned as he walked across the clearing to the smaller rectangle building.

He pushed the thick woven quilt that hung in the doorway aside to reveal a medium sized room. The room was simple, it held a single cot, on the floor was a large quilt much like the one on the door for it too was filled with vibrant colors like the birds I had drawn, a single chair lay in the corner. There were no interior walls, however the four rooms were separated by large quilts. I laid my hiking bag on my cot and turned to face him.

"Thank you, you are very kind to open your home to us."

"The pleasure is all mine I assure you."

"So where can I crash?" Jacob's voice spoke from outside. Nahuel and I both emerged from my room.

"You can use the whole second hut." Nahuel pointed to the larger round hut that stood adjacent to the main houses. "It is mostly empty, there is a large pallet on the floor that should be large enough for you, for whatever shape you may take."

"I think I'll stay like this for awhile. Unless those leopards find their way this far north."

"I would not worry about them, Jacob. They do not control these parts. Our friends in the surrounding tribes protect us. They understand what I am and how we are choosing to live." Nahuel glanced at Huilen with a smile and she simply nodded back. "Senna, Zafrinia, you are more than welcome to stay in the main house."

"We must be going." Senna stated plainly.

"You just got here." Huilen protested.

"We promised Renesmee we would see her safely to you. She is in good care." Zafrina spoke with assurance as she looked from Jacob to Nahuel.

I knew that their bargain was fulfilled, but another part of me knew that their hunting range was limited and they did not want to cause any trouble for Nahuel or Huilen.

"We shall see you again one day I am sure." Senna moved to my side and placed her hand on my shoulder. Zafrina followed her and stood in front of me.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything." I said as I embraced both of them. It seemed my hug was unexpected and their bodies stiffened, yet they soon relaxed. I let them go and they took a step back.

"Take care." Zafrina stated as she glanced from me to Jacob.

Within a moment my vision blurred and I saw the images from my nightmares, my parents, Jacob's bloodied body. Zafrina showed me waking up, clutching onto Jacob, his arms firm around my body holding me to him. I watched on as he comforted me. The image shifted to the two of us entangled in the other fast asleep. Jacob held me to him, my head rested gently on his chest, my arm lying gently on top of him. We looked…peaceful. Then, as if it was nothing, the image disappeared and my vision returned to see Zafrina standing before me.

"Something to consider, little one." She spoke with a smile.

Within another moment they were gone, their bodies vanished from the clearing and the only sign of their departure was the movement of the brush on the floor of the jungle.


	5. Part 5: What Must Shall Be

**Part 5: What Must Shall Be**

Our group suddenly seemed small since the departure of our two other Amazon friends. It seemed that although they were quite…unique, Senna and Zafrina had become a comfort to me in the last few weeks, their protection and guidance reassuring. When I awoke to find them gone that next day I realized just how much I was going to miss their presence.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked upon noticing Nahuel in the main house. His body curved over a large piece of wood, his fingers delicately carving groves here and there.

"Most of the day. You were tired." Nahuel said with a pleasant smile.

"Why is it that we sleep like humans? I am the only one in my family that actually needs a bed." I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

"I believe in that part of us the humanness wins." His wink brought a large smile to my face, but I didn't know why.

"Where is Huilen?" I asked. Her presence seemed quite to my ears as I listened to the sounds around me.

"She is gathering the necessary food for tonight's meal." He said with a smile as he worked tediously over his project.

"So Huilen cooks?"

"Yes, for me and for our guests. I think she quite enjoys the art of it, it reminds her of her old life."

"Well, I am grateful for it, I know Jacob will be. I don't think we can take anymore mangos or granola bars." I sat down in the empty chair across from him.

"You do not hunt?" He asked inquisitively.

"Back home I do, sometimes, as a child I found it quite exhilarating."

"And now?" His dark eyes caught mine.

"I don't know, I guess I seem to be more content with the not-killing side of my pallet these days."

"I understand. As a newborn I thirsted for human blood, I didn't know there was another way. Huilen and I fed whenever we grew hungry. We did not kill for sport we simply ate to survive. As I grew older, as I learned more about my parentage, I decided to leave that life behind."

"When was that?"

"A few years before I met you." He said with a smile. "Huilen has taken a few decades to come accustom to the lifestyle I wish for us."

"So what are you working on?" I asked changing the subject. The talk of blood made me feel it, making me suddenly want it. My eyes gazed down upon the large structure in front of us, hoping that focusing on it might take away the need.

"A new table for the main living area. The old one is in need of replacing."

"What do the markings mean?" I asked as I pointed towards the etchings along the legs and around the rim.

"They are the native language of my aunt and mother's tribe. Huilen taught me as a child. This reads, "Arise with the sun, and you too shall brighten the day."

"And this?" I leaned over and rain my hand across the marking along the side facing me.

"True love never grows old."

"That one is my favorite." Huilen spoke as she entered the doorway. Her baskets were filled to the brim with all sorts of plants and fruits, and game that I had not seen before. It seemed her trip had been successful.

"Here let me help you with that." I said as I stood to take a basket from her.

"No, you are our guest. Please sit. Dinner will be ready soon." Huilen smiled fully as she set the baskets down, sitting in the chair next to me.

"Are you sure? I don't mind." I turned to both of them hoping to somehow make myself useful. They both just nodded as if this was the way it was done and I should just let it go. "So why is that your favorite saying, Huilen?"

"My avó, grandmother used to say that to me. She always wanted me to find good man to be with the way she had." Huilen smiled, her dark eyes lightening up as she remembered. "She would grab my waist, here," Huilen pointed to the side of her stomach. "and say, no man will want you skinny." Huilen laughed. "I never wanted a man. I wanted to learn how to heal the sick, become a mid-wife. My sister, she was the one who always had the stars in her eyes." At the mention of his mother, Nauel's heartbeat sped up.

"My mother was in love with love." Nahuel turned the table as he spoke and began to work on the other side. "My father chose her for that reason."

"How do you know he didn't love her in some way?" I asked quickly but instantly regretted it. I knew it hadn't come out right. "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"My father calls himself a scientist. He seeks to make a superior race. He believes himself to be a god!"

"Nahuel." Huilen's voice seemed to sooth his rising spirit.

"My parentage is unlike yours Renesmee. That was the first thing I noticed upon meeting your mother and father. I never knew…I never knew it could be like that."

"Do you see your father often?"

"No, he sends one of my sisters usually. In my one hundred and seventy years, I have only seen him twice. Once a few years after I reached maturity, he came looking for me. I rejected his offer to join his family. He gave me a hundred years to reconsider, but I again denied him."

"Because you think what he is doing is wrong."

"He does not love the ones he mates with, he simply uses them for his own purposes." Nahuel said severely as he flipped the table up right. "He cares for nothing but his work."

"How many more are like us out there?" I asked suddenly seeing the large check-list in my head of all the questions I wanted answered.

"You are the only one I know of outside my family. I have two new sisters and a brother since I saw you last."

"Your father has had three more children in the last sixteen years?"

"It has never increased in such a short time." Nahuel muttered to himself. "I myself have often wondered why he is creating them at a faster rate, but then again I believe he will slow down the rate, now that he has finally gotten what he always wanted."

"Which is what?" I asked as I leaned in towards him.

"A male to join him."

"For what purpose?" As I glanced over at Nahuel I could see even over his brown skin a dark shade of red. He was blushing. It took me a second to realize why. "Oh, right."

"He has yet to learn if we can reproduce." Nahuel tried to sound factual but his nervousness gave him away.

"Do you think we can?

Upon hearing my question Nahuel scratched the table forcefully with his tool causing a loud screech to fill the open room. Huilen deepened her smile upon seeing her nephew in such a state. I found a smile formed on my lips as well, it was nice to see the human side of him. He always had an air of formality about him, a stoic quietness. I couldn't help but smile at seeing him frazzled.

"It has never been explored." Nahuel stated shortly. He seemed un-willing to say anything further.

"What has never been explored?" Jacob breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling hard.

"Procreation of hybrids." Huilen mumbled as she picked up her basket and moved towards the other part of the house. It seemed she was about to prepare dinner.

The look on Jacob's face was priceless. It seemed he was half shocked, half curious as to what the verdict had been. He just ran a hand over his newly-shaven face, as if doing so would clear his thoughts. I don't know why but for that moment I wished I had my father's gift so that I could see into his mind and hear just what he was thinking.

"How was the run?" Nahuel asked turning his gaze from me back to his workmanship.

"Hot and humid. The perimeter seems quiet. I only saw monkeys and birds. A couple of great swimming spots though."

"We're safe here Jake, Nahuel said so himself." I nodded for him to join us and Jacob took a step inside the main house, finding a spot against one of the exterior walls.

"I am surprised by your method." Jake mumbled.

"My method?"

"You take your time."

"We have all the time in the world, there is no need to rush a masterpiece. Each object deserves to be created as perfectly as it can be. Don't you think?"

"I guess I understand now why this place seems so perfect." My eyes gazed over the detailed carving of the house. "It must have taken time to perfect it."

"Decades. Do you have a craft, Jacob?" Nahuel asked turning his attention from his work to hear what Jacob had to say.

"Not really, I mean unless you count hunting down bloodsuckers as a craft." Jacob chuckled to himself, but it seemed everyone in the room was silent and still for the first time in hours. "Sorry."

"Jacob is a mechanic." I quickly mentioned hoping to ease the sudden tension. "He fixes up old motorcycles and cars. He's really good at it. He taught me when I was younger."

"Renesmee never really had the right touch."

"Nope, I couldn't even change a tire properly."

"I've dabbled in a few things here and there, I guess. Carving smaller things, nothing like furniture though."

"Really, well I'll have to show you while you are here." Nahuel set the table right side up inspecting all the corners and groves to see if it fit his liking. "How is your tribe, Jacob?"

"My tribe?" Jacob looked at me with an expression that could only mean this guy was crazy. I just eyed him and nodded for him to continue. "Uh, yeah, only a few have phased in the last ten years. The original pack that phased around the time I did is now in transition."

"Transition?" Nahuel stopped what he was doing for the first time and looked up at Jacob.

"In times of peace, we can choose to stop phasing. Once we do that, we can age, grow, and eventually die." Jacob looked from Nahuel to me and I could tell his mind was somewhere else. "Some of my friends have decided to stop phasing, now they are beginning to age. Others are still phasing, but I believe in time they all will stop."

"You have the choice?"

"It's a part of the gig, I guess."

"And you said all of them will eventually choose to die?"

"I mean it's not that they want to like die or anything. I think they just figure its better that way."

"Why?"

"To live forever without being able to share it with the one you've imprinted with would be a sort of torture. I guess they have decided its better to live one long human life than years without them."

"I have never heard of such a thing, imprint?" Nahuel placed his tools down on the floor, his whole body turned towards Jacob as if enraptured with what he was saying.

I didn't have to look at him to know that Jacob was looking at me. This was a touchy subject and both of us knew it. I didn't say anything or move. I simply waited for his answer as well which gave Jacob the peace to continue.

"Imprinting is a sacred aspect of who we are, it's written into our very core. Imprinting is an in-voluntary way in which people of my…tribe…" Jacob eyed me with a smile as he repeated Nahuel's term "find their…soul-mate."

"You have no choice over who it is?" Nahuel questioned.

"It's said traditionally that the person who you imprint on is the one person who will make you stronger, better."

"What happens when someone imprints?"

"Normally, it occurs after your first phasing—"

"I never knew that." I chimed in.

"Yeah, most everyone from my phasing period imprinted between their first and second phase." Jacob shrugged his shoulders as if it was no big deal, yet I know what he wasn't saying. He was the only one who had to wait years before he imprinted. "It sort of happens when you see them for the first time, you look into their eyes and everything just changes."

"What do you mean everything changes. I do not understand."

"Imprintees can be anyone, Nahuel. A girl you never talked to who you have seen every day for ten years, your older sister's best friend, your best friend's girlfriend, a child. The possibilities are endless, so in one moment your whole world, it all changes. The world around you shifts, like gravity has pulled you to them, connected every atom in your body to that person, a million cords of steel that no one can severe. You would be anything and everything for them, a brother, a friend, a protector, a lover."

"And these humans themselves, imprintees, they themselves have that experience?"

"That's the kicker isn't it? It can't all be sunshine and daisies can it?"

I could tell that Nahuel didn't understand Jacob's sarcasm, his face looked inquisitive as if he was trying to understand the meaning behind his words. Nahuel looked at me as if I would somehow help him understand.

"No, Nahuel. Imprintees don't always feel that way." I spoke. I lifted my eyes to look at Nahuel but for some reason couldn't look at Jacob.

"No imprintee has ever fully-rejected the affections of one of my kind. I mean there have been times where they get freaked out and need time to figure things out, but eventually they come around. You see Nahuel, being adored, cherished, protected, loved is kind of hard gig for a girl to just pass up on." Jacob's tone was grating and it caused my heart to ache as the words echoed through the open rooms.

"What occurs if they are rejected?"

"Well, it's never really been seen, but hypothetically, out of their love for the one they have imprinted on they would learn to let them go. The thought of it is unimaginable though, the connection one of our kind have with the one they have imprinted on is so inter-connected that we believe eventually they would no longer be able to phase."

"What do you mean, Jake?" I asked baffled by what he was revealing.

"Phasing takes strength, Ness. The stronger you are the easier it becomes, the better, more powerful you are. Without the love and connection to the one they've imprinted on, we wouldn't be able to phase, a physical, emotional weakness would leave us paralyzed. Eventually leading us to age and pass on."

I had never realized that such a thing was possible. A part of me wanted to get up and run into the jungle, another part of me wanted Jacob to wrap his arms around me again like he had before. The sudden truth he had revealed left me feeling off-balanced.

"So have you imprinted, Jake?" Nahuel asked his black eyes searching Jacob's brown ones. A silence hung in the air as the two just looked at each other.

"Enough talk for one night, dinner is on the table." Huilen's voice carried from the other room.

Nahuel broke his gaze and stood, his eyes traveling across the open rooms to his aunt. Within moments he had departed to help her, leaving Jacob and I to follow. Before I stood, I let myself truly look into Jake's eyes for the first time. He looked like he had just dogged a bullet to the heart.


	6. Part 6: Nine Lives

**Part 6: Nine Lives**

The cool water felt heavenly as it rushed over my head and bare shoulders. I never knew I could feel like this. The sound of the waterfalls was all I could hear. For the first time in my life, every other sound was drowned out. It was just the feel of my breathing, the coolness of the water, the smell of tropical flowers and fruits, and the blackness of the night. For the first time in a long time, I was at peace.

Which was ironic considering I had dragged myself off my cot and out of my room only minutes ago because I had been tossing and turning for nearly three hours. A small smile crept onto my face. I never believed I would ever actually be here, in this place, like this. Home seemed far away at this moment. To say I missed my family was an understatement; I yearned to see their faces, to tell them all that had happened. This place, this oasis, this journey had sparked something within me that I never knew existed.

I felt just as much home here in this secluded place, far away from anyone and anything, as I had so many times in my meadow of wildflowers. The thought itself made me take an even deeper breath. The water massaged my skin as I ran my fingers through my hair allowing the full stream to cover my face.

I breathed deep letting the warm crisp night air into my lungs. The smell of cinnamon tickled my nose. Instinctively I turned from the waterfall, allowing my vision to gaze the lagoon's shoreline. Had he been standing there the whole time? I saw through the darkness his figure moving towards me, his bare chest catching the moonlight as he waded through the shallow water to where I was. I just stood still watching him as he drew closer, the roar of the water over me was all I heard. I saw his mouth move but couldn't catch what he said. I stepped forward allowing the water to fall behind me.

"Couldn't sleep?" He spoke again upon seeing my confused face.

"Just felt like a swim." I wiped my face with my hands freeing it of excess water. "I've never been in a more beautiful place."

My eyes once again took in everything around us, the lagoon which stretched out around us, the three waterfalls that fell behind me, the vegetation that grew over and on the cliffs that created a secluded canopy above. Come morning there would be nothing but green and blue, yet now everything was black and silver.

"It's pretty incredible isn't it?" He agreed. "I found some amazing watering holes nearby. We should check them out tomorrow."

"Yeah, that would be fun. Maybe Nahuel and Huilen can show us around the area, I'm sure they know several spots that would be breathtaking to see." I said with a smile. At the mention of Nahuel Jacob's eyes darted away, his expression changing. "You don't like him, do you?"

Jacob's hands moved over the water in circles allowing the rushing stream to form different patterns on the surface. I stared at his face hoping to see some sort of emotion from him. He simply stared at the water as if trying to find something to say. His eyes found mine and he just half-smiled.

"Without him we might not be here." Jacob's voice was soft, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I know. Who knew almost getting killed by Huilen had its upside." I said with a laugh.

"No, I didn't mean…I meant before, Ness, that day in the meadow with the Volturi. It was Nahuel's witness that changed everything. Without him you, Bella, Edward, your family, my pack we might all be dead. I am indebted to him." Jacob heartbeat quickened and even in the dim light of the moon I could tell his face seemed pained.

"You and I would have survived, Jake. My mom made sure of that." I tried to comfort him. Upon seeing his agreeing nod, I dove from where I stood into the water and swam away from the waterfalls. Jacob followed and we swam side by side into the middle of the lagoon.

I don't know why but in that moment I imagined what my life might have been if that moment had gone differently. What if Nahuel had come later, or if Alice couldn't find him in time? How different would my life have been then? I would have grown up on the run from the Volturi, Jacob as my only family. I smiled deeply at the thoughts that flooded my mind. It was too funny not to.

"What's humorous about that?" Jacob asked upon seeing my smile.

"Its just maybe things wouldn't have been so different after all. I mean we might have been here doing exactly this, just the two of us in some remote place of the world where the Volturi couldn't find us." My thoughts darkened. "I shouldn't have found that funny. My family, our friends risked…everything." I began to breathe heavily, my heart pounding "how could I have thought…I'm…that was horrible. I'm horrible."

I stopped swimming, my feet found the rocky bottom, and I stood allowing the current of water to rush around my chest. My body shook as I placed my hands over my face as the memories from that day flooded my mind. I rarely let myself go there, it was too painful. I tried to breathe but felt like I was drowning as if my body had been pushed down into the depth of the lagoon rather than standing. Images of black hooded vampires, the look of anguish and fear on my parent's faces, Jacob's tense body, the quiet tension of the unknown.

"Ness, look at me." I heard Jacob's voice, I felt his warm breath against my face. "You're not horrible." Within moments he had placed his hands on my wrists, gently pulling them from my hidden face. "Nessie, you're not horrible. Please, look at me."

I gave in and let my hands fall with his. He didn't let them go but rather held them to his chest covering them with his own hands. His bare skin felt warm against mine. Slowly I lifted my head to look into his face. He looked concerned for me as if this was a new part of me he had never seen before, yet within his gaze was a confidence that made my body shutter again. Here he was, my Jacob. The Jake that was strong, strong enough to be here with me despite the pain I now knew I was causing him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me what would happen to you?" The words stumbled out of my mouth. "I never…I mean I never realized—"

"I never wanted you to know." Jacob took a deep breath.

"Why?" I shook my head slightly trying to understand him.

"I didn't want it to affect your decision." Jacob looked over me into the darkness around us. He thought carefully for a moment, his brow furrowed, the water dripping down his bronzed face, falling in droplets into the lagoon around us. "Ness I want you." His eyes never left mine and for a moment it felt like I couldn't breathe. "And I want you to decide to be with me because you want to, not because you feel sorry for me or because you don't want to hurt me."

Another shudder rushed over me, so there it is, I thought. The truth. It seemed Jacob was willing to find the bravery and the courage to say how he felt. The only dilemma was I still couldn't, because I still felt lost inside myself. Another flood of guilt and shame washed over me because I knew he was right. I had been making choices to avoid hurting him; I left home to get away from the thought of it.

"You're wrong, Jake." I spoke under my breath. His eyes looked bewildered as if he was trying to connect the dots. "I am horrible, look…look at what I have done to you…look at what I am doing to you."

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Jacob raised a hand to my face, but I turned away from his touch and used whatever strength I had to break free of his grasp. Within moments I was to the shore of the lagoon, within seconds I was safe within my room, within minutes my whole body shook as the tears of pain, fear and anguish over all that happened to me as a child and even now found it's way into the pillow that I grasped tightly to me.

I awoke the next morning from a terrible dream. All throughout the night my mind kept revisiting that snowy meadow, but each time there was a different outcome. I first watched on as my family and friends were killed before my eyes, and then Volturi turned on me. Another scene right before it was all finished, Aro convinced his brothers to hold me as a prisoner, to return with them so that I could be studied. My mind seared with the memories of my previous nightmare, my parents walking along the river, over taken by the leopards. Jacob drowning under a sea of spotted creatures whose teeth tore at him. My breath was heavy as I sat bolt upright on my cot. Dawn it seemed was creeping its way through the jungle for the light was not bright yet, rather a pinkish haze had settled on the floor of my room.

I covered my face with my hands as if doing so would somehow calm me down. I wanted to hide, to burrow so down deep into the cot beneath me that nothing would ever make me feel that way again. I knew as much as I wanted it to be it simply couldn't so slowly I lifted myself from my bed. I reached into my hiking bag to grab a change of clothes. Sliding the quilt separating my room to the living area I created some privacy for myself and quickly changed into my jean shorts and flowing white tank top. It wasn't even mid-morning yet and I could already feel the thickness in the air around me. I listened to the world, no one stirred, I heard nothing but the sounds of the jungle, the sound of the jungle mixed with Jacob's heavy breathing. It seemed he was still sound asleep. Huilen and Nahuel were gone, for I could not detect either of their movements around the huts. It seemed I had two choices, stay here and wait or go explore. I chose the later.

I took the freedom I had been given that morning to run, and run and run as fast as my body would take me. I wanted to regain the power I felt my dreams had taken from me. I wanted to dive and bend, move and conquer the ground below me. I followed as many trails as I could, creating an arch around the main camp. Each new path seemed to twist and turn, winding through the jungle like the great river I had seen in the beginning of my journey. The small streams guided my quick steps as I followed them. I rushed along side them until they grew larger and larger, three or four merging sometimes merging into one. I followed the great water until the land around me became sparse.

Within seconds I was forced to stop abruptly, a great precipice was before me. I took pride in my agility; a few seconds more and I would have ran right off the cliff, down into the unknown that lay before me. As I stood there looking out over the world before me, my toes on the edge, I unexplainably felt afraid. A fear that I would fall off the cliff whose rushing water fiercely went off the side and down until I couldn't see it anymore. I figured it fell into a lagoon somewhere below where it obviously gathered before continuing on its journey south.

"You found my favorite spot." A voice startled me from behind, if my feet hadn't been gripping the ground underneath me I might have fallen over right then and there. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I guess custom does dictate that you should never sneak up on a woman."

"This is spectacular, Nahuel." I said with a smile as he stepped beside me. "You can see for miles."

My gaze was transfixed onto the horizon. The sun was bearing down upon us both, its rays full and glowing as it reached out over the vast jungle in front of us. I could see from here where the water flowed and cut across the land. Low lying clouds fell below us. It wasn't until I really looked down that I began to realize how high up we were.

"This is the highest point around us for many miles. I come here every morning and watch the sun greet the land." I glanced back at Nahuel only to see his eyes were closed, yet upon his face was a gentle smile. He looked peaceful. Within moments his eyes opened and upon noticing my stare he simply smiled deeper. "Care to jump with me?" Nahuel extended his hand.

I looked at his hand, his fingers spread open carefully waiting on mine, then back over the cliff. That same unexplainable fear had returned. I had climbed and descended the mountains around home dozens of times, and they were taller than this, at least I thought they were, I honestly had no idea.

"You are afraid." He chuckled in amusement. At its sudden sound several birds leapt from the trees and took flight above us.

"Is that strange?" I asked slightly jarred.

"We are half human, we feel every emotion the way humans do, except unlike humans the vampire aspect makes us sense it more strongly." Nahuel dropped his hand, seeing my obvious confusion. "Standing here in itself is a complex decision for one like us. The humanness in us detects the danger, and we unfortunately have the senses to see every risk. We have the eyes to see the great distance, the ears to hear the rushing water's fall. We instinctively feel afraid of the potential danger. But we can also feel the strength in our muscles, the flexibility in our bodies, the power to accomplish what is before us."

"I trust what I think I know I can do, yet I still am afraid of what might be."

"Ahh, that right there is the source of it all isn't it, what might be?" Nahuel stretched his arms wide as if embracing the whole scene. "What might be? It all comes down to a choice. Will you live in the fear or will you embrace what might be?" Nahuel smile spread over his entire face, his eyes lightening up as the sun's rays fell over us. He extended his hand once again, our toes now crossing the precipice before us. "So which is it today, Renesmee?"

I tore my gaze from his face and looked out over all that was before me. Without looking back at him, I placed my unsteady hand in his firm grasp and within seconds, before I could think twice, our bodies jumped in unison. We soared down, the waterfall splashing over us as we gained speed. I knew this was the closest I would ever come to feeling like I was flying. Our bodies soared through the air, falling gracefully fast into the great river below us. Nahuel held my hand firmly as we braced ourselves for the impact. I straightened my body and within moments I felt the rush of colder water over me as we sunk into its embrace. The current forced my hand from Nahuels and I hit the bottom of the river hard. A searing pain rushed over my left leg. Sucking in the water around me in response, I began choking as I tried to make my way to the surface.

I gasped as my head cleared the surface and I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming. Nahuel was on the other side of the river, his eyes searching the water for me. Upon seeing my reaction his eyes darkened and within moments he was by my side helping me to shore. My eyes focused as I felt the warm earth beneath me.

"Your leg is cut. You must have grazed a rock on the bottom." Nahuel looked worried as his eyes glanced from me to my leg.

I followed his gaze. It took me a moment to take in what I was seeing, a large cut on my right calf from my ankle to my knee was dripping with what I knew was blood. I glanced to Nahuel's face, afraid of what it might do to him.

"Do not fear. Blood is not tempting to me, at least not yours."

I had never hurt myself before. I had seen Charlie cut his hand deep with a knife when trying to learn how to cook. My cut was nothing like that, it seeped blood and it did slowly begin to drip into the rusty earth under it, but nothing like it would have been if it had been Charlie instead. The scent of it was earthy, like metal, the iron in it made it so, yet to a vampire human blood is sweet, so sweet that it can be detected miles away, mine however was faint, only a glimmer of that remained.

"I have never…I've never been hurt before." I asked as I grasped his shoulder to stand. "Have you?"

"Only once, a run in with a southern tribe. Huilen will know how to heal the wound quickly." Nahuel placed his arm around my waist, the other under my arm that draped across his shoulder. "I'm sorry Renesmee, I shouldn't have asked you to jump. I never imagined that this would happen, it's never happened before."

"I guess this falls under the 'what might be' category." Despite Nahuel's obvious concern, he couldn't help but chuckle at the comment.

"Let's get you back." It took only a few steps before he lifted me fully into his arms and with steady and quick movements we made our way through the jungle in the direction of the lagoon.


	7. Part 7: One Pain Lessened

**Part 7: One Pain Lessened**

The jungle blurred as we raced through it. Nahuel precision was so much quicker than mine had been earlier. You could tell that he knew every inch of the land, I dared even believe that he knew where each limb, each root, each tree stood. The pain in my leg was decreasing, but I was pretty sure I had already bitten a hole in my lip from trying to not think about the sensation that rolled over me again and again. I figured this was the downside of being what Nahuel and I were, as much as we liked to think we were impenetrable, obviously we weren't. Our skin was tough, almost metal-like, yet I guess even I could bleed. I caught sight of the camp and Nahuel slowed down to a brisk walk as he made his way for the main long house where he could hear Huilen.

"Ness! Jeez, what happened?!" Jacob yelled across the clearing upon smelling the blood. Within moments he was by my side his eye's jerking back and forth between Nahuel and me.

"It's just a cut, I'll be fine." I said through a quince of pain, I adjusted my grip around Nahuel's neck.

Jacob looked as if he didn't know whether to try and take me from Nahuel's arms or just follow along. Nahuel decided for him, within seconds he and I were through the door to the main house and he set me carefully down onto a cot beside the wall. Huilen it seemed was one step ahead, already preparing some sort of medicine, her hands pressed the pestle firmly down as she grinded some sort of plant I couldn't recognize.

"Not to worry. This should do the trick." Huilen said with a smile. "How much pain are you in?"

"Uh, its not as bad as when it first happened." I bit my lip again.

"She's in a lot of pain." Jacob's eyes never left my face.

"Jake—"

"Ness, you never bit your lip that hard unless you're hurt or angry."

"It hurts a lot." I gave in. Jacob was right it was extremely painful no use trying to hide it.

"I'm so sorry, Renesmee, I should have—"

"What was your part in all of this!?" Jacob stood up, his emotions clearing getting the better of him.

"Jacob!" I eyed him and upon seeing my expression he sat back down, trying very hard to control his rising anger. "It's not Nahuel's fault." I gazed towards Nahuel. "It's not your fault. It was just an accident."

"Accident? Ness, your half-vampire, you shouldn't have accidents!" Jacob tone was harsh and even he winced as he heard himself.

"I just jumped off a cliff and grazed a rock on the bottom of the river."

"How big was the cliff?" Jacob looked at the cut on my leg only further indicating his point.

"Chalochoal Falls is the largest waterfall in hundreds of miles." Nahuel commented as he helped Huilen carry the supplies needed to dress the wound.

"You just felt like jumping off of the largest waterfall in Brazil?"

"It's not the largest, but still spectacular." Huilen applied the green paste along the wound, her fingers delicate as she moved from the top of the cut near the knee to the bottom near the ankle.

"It doesn't bother you?" I asked upon seeing her noise twitch, she had obviously taken a breath and with it came the familiar hint of sweetness.

"No, there is enough vampire in you to cover the temptation." Her eyes caught my gaze and she smiled. "Unless I'm mid-hunt." I smiled slightly remembering our introduction. "This will burn slightly as it stays on." Huilen added one more coat before wrapping my leg with a fresh cloth.

As she tied it securely I began to feel the burn, she wasn't kidding. I bit harder on my lip, upon seeing my reaction Jacob instantly moved to sit by my side. Gathering my hands in his, I instinctively pressed down on them, hard, as if doing so would alleviate the pain. If I was hurting him, he didn't let on. He just let me squeeze and squeeze until the burning finally dissipated.

"You weren't kidding when you said it would burn."

"That means it's just fulfilling its purpose." Huilen nodded. "I will get you some water, it will soothe."

"Is this…normal?" Jacob gaze looked up from our hands to Nahuel. Nahuel's eyes darkened upon hearing his question, he didn't speak for a few seconds. The silence only increased Jacob's heart rate, and thus mine as well.

"It's never happened before." Nahuel spoke honestly. "I have been wounded only a few times in my life, all by southern tribes, like your kind." Nahuel's eyes found Jacob. "Not enough to do any real damage."

"So what does this mean?" Jacob's gaze fell from him to my wrapped leg.

"It means that she is part-human, Jacob, nothing more."

"I will just have to think twice before jumping of cliffs from now on." I squeezed his hand in mine and smiled hoping it would alleviate his concern. It didn't. "Jacob." I moved to look at him dead on. His eyes finally finding mine. "I'll be fine." I squeezed his hand again and this time he seemed to slowly come around, his body relaxed, squeezing my hand in return.

"Here you go." Huilen handed me a glass almost to the brim with water. "It might taste bitter."

"What did you put in it?" Jacob mumbled, his nose twitching from its obvious potent smell.

"Nothing you need to worry about it. Just a few medicinal root juices."

"Tasty." I spoke through a cough. I could barely stomach the cool liquid that tasted more like soured milk than water.

"Her body would heal quicker with blood." Huilen spoke glancing up at Nahuel.

"There must be some sort of monkey or big cat wondering these parts." Jacob stood to leave but Nahuel only stood in his way.

"Huilen meant human blood." Nahuel glanced back at me and then to Huilen once more. "How critical is it?"

"Hard to tell, if her body rejects the herbs it could get worse."

"I am guessing there isn't a blood bank near here." Jacob mumbled as he wiped his face in frustration.

"The tribes would never forgive—"

"The herbs will work." I spoke cutting off Nahuel. "No need to get drastic right now."

"Rest then." Huilen smiled and as if reading her mind Nahuel followed her out into the clearing, leaving Jacob behind.

"Can I get you anything?" Jacob said as he helped me lie back onto the cot carefully moving my leg.

I felt peaceful, calm as if I was falling into soft grass rather than the cot's leather binding. I began to wonder if Huilen put something else into that drink.

"Tell me something, Jake." I heard myself mumble as I nestled myself into a comfortable position.

"What do you want me to tell?" His voice heightened as if he suddenly felt caught.

"Anything, a story, a memory." My eyes became heavy and I couldn't keep them open anymore.

I only half remember seeing Jacob take a seat on the ground, his arms curling around his knees, his body secured only inches from me. His smile broadened as he began to speak, the sound of his voice reminded me of all those summer nights we had spent around the crackling fire on the reservation, warm and intoxicating. What story Jacob told me I can't remember, I simply remember drifting away effortlessly.

I awoke some time later and I couldn't help but notice I had a smile on my face. Why, I couldn't guess, for upon waking the knowledge of the steady pain returned. My eyes scanned the open room around me only to find Huilen arranging a group of vibrant colored flowers she had picked recently.

"How do you feel?" She asked upon noticing my gazing eyes. "Any pain?" I just nodded as I bite my lip again.

"Burning?"

"Yeah, still."

"That's a good sign. The ointment will burn until it's fully healed. When it stops you know your cut is sealed. You'll probably have a scar, but at least no further disease will cause you harm."

"Disease, really?"

"Well, your tissues are half-human, thus still susceptible to infection upon opening. It's the exposing them that is the hard part."

"Jumping off cliffs at high altitude being one of the ways." I said sarcastically as I tried to sit up.

"One of the few we have recognized so far." She said with a nod.

"Does Nahuel have scars?" My mind tried to recall noticing them, but his arms and chest had been clear of any anomaly that I had noticed.

"Two actually." Nahuel spoke for himself as he cleared the entryway. "I thought I heard you stirring. How do you feel?"

"A bother." I mumbled under my breath. Upon hearing my words Nahuel and Huilen just smiled widely, Nahuel even laughed exposing his pristine white teeth.

"You are not a bother, Renesmee." Nahuel placed a hand on my shoulder. "Quite the opposite actually." I just glanced up at him and smiled, he removed his hand and brought a chair nearer to the cot, sitting down as gracefully as he had entered the room.

"Do you think it's time to change the wrapping?" Nahuel called over his shoulder.

"In a few minutes or so yes, she says it still burns—"

"That's a good sign." Nahuel nodded.

"I'll go gather more leaves."

With nothing more, Huilen left the room in a flash of bronze and brown leaving a hollowed space where she had once stood. The flowers I noticed were perfectly positioned, a beautiful display of orange, purple, yellow and red. Their sweet scent created an aroma throughout the main house.

"Do you mind?" Nahuel asked as his eyes glanced down at my leg.

Upon seeing my nod of approval he gently reached down and helped lift my leg onto his thigh, holding it still as his fingers gently unwrapped the leaves that covered the ointment Huilen created.

"Did your wounds take long to heal?"

"Much longer than this, I took fever and infection, took me nearly a month to recover."

"How…how is that possible?" I shook my head as if not understanding.

"We are not invincible, Renesmee, no one is, not even your parents or Jacob." Nahuel spoke softly as his fingers removed the rest of the leaves exposing the cut. I winced as his words reminded me once again of my nightmares. "Did I hurt you?" His expression changed to worry and concern as he gazed into my face.

"Oh, no…I just…was remembering that day in the meadow. How close we all came to—" I couldn't finish.

"Do you think about that often?"

"No…yes, sometimes."

"You were but a child."

"Yes, but even then I think I was aware of how much danger I had put everyone in. How much we could have lost, how many people I loved could have been killed because of me."

"You think it was your fault." Nahuel looked straight at me, his hands grew still, his eyes darkened as if they held an unknown power behind them. I couldn't speak. "You do, don't you?"

My eyes glanced away from his face to my leg, the cut was almost healed, the skin was red around the edges of the wound, the green ointment nearly gone, the burning however still remained.

"You and I are more alike than I thought."

He took a piece of cloth from a basin of water that had been sitting on the ground, and gently washed the edges of my wound, cleaning off what was left of the ointment. The water soothed the burn for a second before it returned again.

"It seems we both have taken on the blame for events that were out of our control."

"What do you mean?" I asked my eyes finding his again.

"It is not your fault nor mine that we are what we are. When I was born we had not the technology nor the knowledge to perform what your family did, in turn I was born, but my mother succumbed to death. It took me a while to realize that I shouldn't blame myself for her passing, that I shouldn't feel at fault for the circumstances around it that were none of my doing."

"Hating your father?" I spoke quietly, afraid of whether or not I would hurt him by saying so.

"Yes, that more than anything. I hated him for nearly a century for what he did to my mother, and what he has done to others."

"I have lived my whole life believing that one day they will come back for me." I spoke words that I had never revealed to anyone, not even my family, not even to Jacob. Words and thoughts that had been burned in my mind ever since I saw Aro's expression when he found out what I truly was, how unique I was.

"The Volturi?" Nahuel questioned as he placed the wet cloth back into the basin and reached for a dry one that hung over the bed. I nodded at him, their eyes and faces filling my mind.

"Within the first few months of my life I had grown into understanding of the great darkness that circled around my family, a darkness because Irena had seen me that day in the meadow. Once you came to give testimony, once the Volturi saw what could be, how much I didn't threaten our exposure, the darkness slowly lifted. Yet, much to the confusion of my family I think a small part of it stayed with me still. Alice, we knew, would be able to detect the Volturi's movements, much like she had before but I am a blind spot to her. She can only see my life through the lenses of other's. Much to her dismay, and my family, my life is a great puzzle, a mystery to her and the rest of us."

"Fear of what might be." Nahuel stated honestly as his fingers moved gently over my leg.

He took such care as he cleaned my wound to not cause me more pain, I could hear his heart beat slow and steady, but every now and then, when his eyes meet mine, it began to race. I couldn't help but steadily blush when it did.

"For them yes, for me I think it was fear of what might happen to the people I love. I saw desire in Aro's eyes when he looked at me, a fervent desire for me to be his no matter what it cost. Even as a child I knew what he was capable of."

"You grew up feeling this way?" Nahuel expression looked pained.

"Not always, there were times when the darkness would diminish, times when the love of my family was greater than the fear I felt."

"And Jacob?" Nahuel spoke so softly, his hands stopping, his eyes catching mine. I felt my heart beat quicken. I knew Nahuel could hear it too.

"What about Jacob?" At the mention of his name, I found myself searching the sounds around me to detect him. My eyes scanning the room as if doing so would help me find him.

"He is not here, Renesmee. He left awhile ago."

"Where…where did he go?" I shifted suddenly causing another pain to shoot through my leg.

"Simple perimeter checks probably." Nahuel shrugged. "He finds those comforting it seems.

"Old habit." I said through a smile.

"You never answered my question." Upon seeing me turn to him, Nahuel continued. "Did the darkness disappear when you were with him too?"

"No…with Jacob..." I found my eyes burned as I recalled the memory in the meadow, saying goodbye, "with Jacob it just grows stronger."

"He imprinted on you, didn't he?" I knew Nahuel had been holding that question in. I could tell by the way he said it, it wasn't a question, more a statement that he said under his breath, a statement he knew was already true.

"When I was first born." I gave him the answer I knew he was looking for.

"When you were born?" Nahuel's eyes found mine, a deep questioning held within them. I knew he wanted to understand more, to ask more.

"Jacob and my mom had been friends since childhood. They grew closer once my mom returned to Forks in high school." Nahuel eyes looked confused, but I just continued on. "They both…they both cared for each other."

"And Edward?"

"My mother fell in love with him first, at least that's what they told me. Jacob just kind of was always there in the background, loving and protecting my mom no matter what, even when he knew she was in love with another."

"Had he imprinted on her?" Nahuel asked trying to sort out what I was saying.

"No, he never did. My parents married and Jacob stepped out of the way, he let my mom have her choice. Then I happened. When I was born Jacob was there, he helped my father deliver me. Yet my Aunt said it wasn't until later that he finally looked at me."

"He blamed you for your mother's death." Nahuel spoke his emotions were heightened from the similarity of our stories.

"We've never really talked about it, but I guess he must have felt that way in the beginning."

"Then he imprinted?" Nahuel stated and his eyes darkened upon seeing me nod.

"Upon seeing me truly for the first time, yes he did, he imprinted. I don't remember it happening of course, I was too young, but over those few months as I grew quickly I became keenly aware of how much Jacob cared about me. He was…he was mine." The words stumbled out of me before I even realized I had spoken them. Yet I knew they were in every way true.

"You care for him deeply." Nahuel's eyes caught mine once more.

"Jake's been…he's been a lot to me over the years, always a protector, a friend."

"I feel as if there is something you are trying to hide." Nahuel smiled upon seeing my confused expression. "I am not blind, Renesmee. I see the way you are with him, you are reserved, careful, as if you are building a wall to keep him at a distance."

"Quite perceptive aren't you?"

"I just see." Nahuel smiled deeper.

"There is a history between us that would take days to explain, Nahuel. The truth is that Jacob will always care about me, the imprinting makes it that way, there is nothing I can do about it."

"But you would if you could?"

"I…I don't know. A part of me thinks so yes, that if there were a cure for him, then life would be easier for him. I could slip away from my life back home and he would go on, find someone to love and build… a family, free from…free from all of this…safe from what might be." I knew I was rambling, my thoughts and words flowing so fast and so confusing that I figured Nahuel wasn't still paying attention, yet his gaze was still set upon my face, his expression stoic as always.

"You really have thought about it."

"I don't want to hurt him, Nahuel. You heard him the other night, what it's like for someone like him if someone like me chooses differently." The images Jacob has painted the other night filled my mind, my heart rate increased, and so did my breathing. Either way Jacob was bound to get hurt. Either way I was hurting him, either way I was responsible for his probable death.

"Lay back, you need to rest." Nahuel spoke softly. He carefully lifted my leg as I complied. "Rest, Renesmee, do not trouble yourself with such thoughts. Sleep, Huilen will be back to dress the wound."

I closed my eyes trying to calm myself. Nahuel hands adjusted my leg one more time before his touch was gone. I caught the faint sound of paws scratching the earth, the familiar scent of wood and cinnamon before I fell asleep. It seemed Nahuel had heard Jacob approaching, forcibly ending our conversation.


	8. Part 8: Sudden Joys Have Sudden Ends

**Part 8: Sudden Joys Have Sudden Ends**

I felt the swift and delicate but cold fingers move over my leg, causing me to stir from my dreamless sleep. I opened my eyes to see Huilen taking off a second wrapping that I had not even felt her put on.

"Ness?" Jacob's voice echoed over me as I began to sit up.

"Slowly, Renesmee" She spoke, her long dark curls swaying as she moved. "The wound however is cleaned and fully healed. How do you feel?"

"No burning yet."

"Good, good." She said with a bright smile.

"You have been asleep for a full day." Nahuel voice spoke. I turned to see him standing in the middle of the room a wide grin on his face.

"I guess I needed it." I felt strange saying it. I never slept more than five or six hours at the most.

"You were right about the scar, Huilen." Nahuel eyes glanced from my face to my leg. I followed each of their gazes. There indeed was a white scar, a sizeable line etched from my knee to mid-calf.

"Battle wound." I shrugged my shoulder as if that was that. There was nothing that could be done now. They both seemed to smile, Jacob however didn't.

"Can you stand?" Huilen gestured towards the doorway.

"I think so."

I swung my feet over the edge of the leather cot. Jacob moved from the chair to stand by my side. Placing my hand on his steady shoulder, I placed my good leg forward first. Then I tried bearing weight on the other. It felt shaky but there wasn't any pain. Within moments I began walking, a few tinges of unstableness, forcing me to hold onto Jacob arms. He walked with me; his arms steady and firm as if ready to catch me if something were to go wrong. Step by step I walked on gaining momentum until finally I reached the middle of the clearing, the sun's rays warming my skin. It felt so wonderful to be outside again.

"It's good to see you up, Ness." Jacob muttered beside me. I turned my face to look at him, his dark brown eyes seemed more gold in the sunlight. I just smiled back at him.

"I'm famished."

I couldn't help but speak what my stomach and my mind were thinking as I glanced across the clearing to the luscious trees whose fruit hung ripe in the sun. Taking a brief jog, I found myself beside the edge of the lagoon within seconds. My leg felt more stable, burn-free, with each passing moment. I didn't feel up to cliff diving anytime soon, but was grateful to be almost back to normal. I broke off a couple of pieces from their branches. "Here you go." I exclaimed as I tossed one to Jake who was close behind me.

"What I wouldn't give for one of my dad's cheese steak sandwiches right about now." He mumbled as he bit into the nectarous fruit, the purple juice dripping down his chin. Jacob wiped it off with the back of his hand as he smiled.

"You miss him?" I asked noticing Jacob's gaze drift over me to the lagoon.

"A little, he's just getting older ya know." I watched Jake's shoulders rise and fall as he took a deep breath. "I don't know how much longer I'll have with him." His eyes found mine again, but they quickly darted away as he tossed the rind of the fruit into the overlying trees. I felt my heart grow heavier at hearing Jacob's words. "Do you, I mean if you feel up to it, want to come with me somewhere? There is a place I found that I want to show you."

Jacob took a step towards an exposed path ahead us. He waited for me to answer before he took another step. I glanced over my shoulder to see Huilen and Nahuel about their work, paying no mind to either of us. I took a breath and turned back to Jake.

"Sure." I said following his lead.

His pace was slow, casual, as if he was in no rush, which for me was helpful considering everything that had happened in the last few days.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked my curiosity getting the better of me.

"It's not too far, just a couple of miles east of here." Jacob called back to me over his shoulder as he ducked under a low-lying vine. He raised it so that I could pass easily underneath it. "I stumbled upon it on my run the other day."

"Is it a waterfall?" I asked inquisitively. "If so, I don't think I'm quite ready for another jumping lesson just yet." I jumped on and off a large rock in the middle of the stream as we crossed as if proving my point, when my boots hit the water it shot up forcefully sending a jet of water onto Jacob. I couldn't help but laugh at his surprised expression. "Sorry." I giggled shamelessly at the sight of him.

"You're going to pay for that one." His smile widened as he scooped up the cold water in his hand and within a second it found its way onto me. I shrieked and darted ahead of him, only to loose him in the brush. "Ness!" He called. "You're going the wrong way!" His voice carried over the trees to me.

"Promise no more splashing?!" I called back.

"I will if you will!"

"Fine." I said through a sigh as I retraced my steps until I caught his figure standing exactly where I had left him, his arms crossed, a slight boyish grin crossing his face.

"We go this way." He pointed in the opposite direction I had taken. I just smiled and followed alongside him, my pace matching his. "And just so you know, it's not a waterfall." He leaned and whispered over my shoulder. His warm breath caused a chill to run over my spine.

We walked the rest of the way in silence, moving easily with one another as we had done my whole life. It seemed normal, natural like this, Jacob steps just slightly longer, more in front of mine, his movements ahead so as to lift up a limb, or extend a hand to help me up over a rock or large tree root. It was fluid, like a dance, a dance neither one of us knew we had been a part of. Yet, now I did. I was keenly aware of his movements and mine, and I was keenly aware of how natural they felt, how easy this was, and that, that was the hardest part of it all.

"We're here." His voice shook a little as if he was nervous.

His fingers held the tip of a large branch from an overhanging tree. He looked at me and smiled deeply, his eyes catching mine, and then he pulled the branch back out of the way, exposing what had only moments ago been hiding.

I couldn't help but take a sharp breath from the surprise of seeing it. There a few yards away stood what I presumed was an ancient ruin. A large stone pyramid whose many steps ascended high above us, the sun's rays making it even harder to see the very top. I shielded my eyes so as to see it fully. There in all its majesty it lay deserted, my ears could not detect any movement, Jacob and I were alone. My smile widened as I took a step forward, out of the brush and into the clearing of overgrown grasses that continued until the pyramids base.

"I thought you might like it." I heard Jake exclaim over my shoulder as he followed behind me.

"Who do you think built it?" I exclaimed as I turned to look back at him.

"Aztec, Mayan, who knows?" He shrugged his shoulder.

"Their territory was farther north than Brazil. A separate tribe must have made this. Look at the way they carved the symbols into the stone in such a grand scale, the technology to do that, it's incredible."

"Aliens." Jacob stated plainly. "Must have been aliens, lazer beams, and power sources and everything, it's the only way."

"Jake!" I gave him a hard nudge in the shoulder as I laughed aloud.

"What didn't you see that Indiana Jones movie?"

"Why do we have to create fictitious reasoning for something majestic, why can't it just be extraordinary human unity at its finest?"

"So says the hybrid human-vampire?" Jacob laughed out loud as he jogged ahead of me towards the stone structure that rose high above us.

I stopped to glance up at the enormous structure, it took my breath away once more. I tried to imagine what it must have been like to see this being built, probably thousands of years ago. How many men must have come together to create it? For what purpose did it serve? The levels seemed to have been slowly decreased from the original thick stone base at least eleven times to form the pyramid structure. The top section seemed more like a four-sided house, with an exposed doorway. I glanced around me to see if there were any other structures, yet nothing caught my eye. Just this one grey stoned pyramid amongst the thickets of the jungle. Isolated and deserted.

"Come on, Ness!" Jacob waved his arm to catch up. "Feel like a climb?" The boyish grin returned to his face as he saw me sprint forward.

"First one to the top wins!" My voice echoed over the expanse of land as I brushed past Jacob and made my way quickly up the long, high staircase.

I got halfway before I had to stop, my left leg it seemed had had enough, the slow throbbing forcing me to slow down. Jacob had however brushed past me and made it almost to the top before turning back around to gaze down at me. I rubbed the scar as if doing so would somehow soothe what I felt underneath it. Within seconds he was beside me, his forehead wrinkled in deep thought and concern.

"You okay, Ness?" He mumbled as he kneeled down to take a look at my leg.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just went too fast too soon I think." I mumbled as I felt the tip of his fingers etch over my skin.

"Come on, jump on." He said with a smile, as he stood turning his back to me. His knees bent slightly prepared for my weight.

"Jake—"

"We're not quitting now." I sighed heavily and placed my hands on top of his shoulders with a slight spring I landed onto his back, my arms around his neck, his hands held my legs firmly. "This way we both win."

Jacob climbed the next half carrying us both higher and higher up to the top of the pyramid. To any other person this act would seem well worth a gold medal, but it was as easy as breathing to him.

Upon reaching the top, Jacob's hold loosened on my legs and I gently set my feet onto the stone ground beneath us, letting go of my hold around his neck. My eyes scanned the horizon, the jungle surrounding us on all sides, the trees blending into one large green expanse. I felt on top of it all, high above the world, looking down on something so beautiful, so majestic, that I found myself not breathing.

"Quite breathtaking, isn't it." Jacob said, and I knew this time he wasn't poking fun. He meant every word.

"Thank you for bringing me here, for showing me this." I said turning to him a large smile on my face. I felt alive again, like I had before perched up in those trees, watching the sunset. "Let's stay here for awhile."

"Okay." Jake simply nodded.

He grabbed my hand and led me to the opposite side of the pyramid, where only a ledge of stone floor kept us from falling. I walked closely behind him until he took a seat in the middle of the structure, his feet dangling off the edge. I sat beside him, taking his lead. I saw the sun lowering on the horizon; from this vantage point we would see it setting soon.

"I figured this was what you had in mind." He gave me a slight nudge on the shoulder and I just tossed my hair to the side.

"You were right." I smiled.

"I know you Ness."

The way he said it was factual, he didn't mean anything more than that, but the truth of it left a silent tension over us. I knew he hadn't meant to, and yet for some reason it still had that effect. I let it go, though. For the first time in awhile I tried to turn my mind and its barreling thoughts off.

I simply laid my head on his shoulder, as I had done so many times before, intertwining my arm with his and eventually our hands and fingers. I knew my actions were different this time, despite how many times Jake and I had been in this position before, I knew that this moment, the way I had done it, how I had done it, meant more. For the first time, I was okay with it, at least for now I was. I could feel the tension in Jacob's body relax completely; his heart rate became steady, his breathing slow and deep. He laid his head on top of mine, his thumb rubbing my hand gently.

"I needed this, Jake." I spoke breaking the silence that had passed between us. "I needed it to just be you and me, the way it used to be before…before—"

"I complicated things." He said through a laugh, its force shaking my whole body.

"Jake—" I lifted my head so that I could see his face.

"No, Ness, that's the truth isn't it? You wouldn't have run away if you didn't feel like I was pressuring you into feeling something before you were really ready." I turned my gaze from him back out to the sun, the colors deepening with each passing minute. "You know, I'm right."

"You've never pressured me Jacob, at least not intentionally." I laid my head back on his shoulder. "Well maybe the whole kiss thing was a little intentional." I smiled, and I was glad Jacob's gaze was on the setting sun and not my face, although I was pretty sure my cheeks were the same color as the red haze that glistened before us. I took another deep breath. "It was everything, Jake, not just you that made me need to get away."

"Tell me." I knew it wasn't a demand; Jacob's voice seemed too yearning as if everything in him simply wanted to understand, to know what was going on inside my head.

Silence drifted over us as I once again became lost in my own thoughts. I wanted to right then and there reveal everything that had been boiling inside my heart the last few years, the nightmares, the darkness that had seemed to cloud my mind. The fear of what might happen to him, to my family one day because of me. Yet, I didn't. I just nestled my head deeper against him and took a breath. I heard him sigh as if realizing that I wasn't going to say anything. I knew he wasn't angry, but I knew he was hurt.

"Ness, tell me what you need? How can I help you, what can I do to—" Upon feeling my hand squeeze his tighter he stopped and exhaled a large sigh once more.

"This, Jacob," I mumbled under my breath, a whisper that only he and the wind could hear. "This is what I need."

We didn't speak another word as we sat there watching the sun set across the jungle's horizon, we didn't speak another word as we watched the stars begin to shine in the black night's sky, we just sat there together holding on to each other not wanting the moment to fade. I knew for Jacob these precious moments were a hopeful beginning, but for some unexplainable reason I feared that it was more a painful ending.


	9. Part 9:In Love With Night

**Part 9:**** In Love With Night**

I watched on as Nahuel methodically brushed the table with some sort of finish he had made, the smell of it made my nose twitch. I was thankful he had taken to moving his work outside, so that at least the breeze created some freedom from the smell.

"That's absolutely awful." I blurted out when I couldn't take it anymore. "How do you put up with it?"

"I don't breathe." Nahuel said with a smile as he crawled down under the table, his brush moving methodically back and forth covering every inch. "At least not much." I could hear his resonating chuckle.

"Jacob seems to be enjoying himself." Nahuel moved out from underneath the table pointing his brush in the direction of the waterfalls.

"Seems so." I turned my head to catch a glimpse of Jacob's body before the water entirely engulfed him. "Good thing too, he was starting to smell." It was my turn to laugh; the whimsical sound escaped my lips before I could catch myself. I pressed a hand to my lips to stifle it.

"Good thing he can't hear us." Nahuel stated as he placed the brush into the wooden basin, taking a step back to glance at his work. "One of the many reason's why I chose this place to build a home, the three combined falls creates a symphony of silence."

"I discovered that myself the other night." I said with a smile remembering how alive and soothing it had felt underneath the pressure of the cold water.

"My second favorite spot." Nahuel said with a wink as he disappeared into the house, and reappeared with an old piece of dark cloth. He set to rubbing the stain carefully as he massaged each surface of the table.

"Can I…can I ask you a question?" I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head against my knees hoping to appear casual, yet I knew what I had to say next would seem forced.

"Anything."

"Are you…are you happy?"

Nahuel must have found my increased heartbeat amusing because his face erupted with a large smile. He didn't answer quickly however. He just continued to wipe and re-wipe the table until every inch was finished. He stood up off his knees and took a step back examining the finished work.

"It depends upon your definition of happiness, Renesmee." He spoke so eloquently and with such care that I found myself staring at him for a good minute or so. It wasn't until I blinked and turned my gaze that he continued. "Humans define happiness by many relational and social experiences such as marriage, children, social order, wealth, power. Vampires define happiness by longevity, survival, conquest, companionship, consumption, and influence. Where do you and I fit into these definitions? Does our kind define happiness by the human or vampire conditions for it?" He tossed the dirty cloth into the open doorway in perfect aim, but what I assumed was for more emphasis than show.

"A philosopher as well as a carpenter?" A bright smile crossed my face as he laughed upon hearing my words.

"I have a fare amount of time to ponder such things."

"So what have you concluded?" I probed.

"That I do not want to define my life by whether or not I have happiness." He took a step towards me, crouching down so that his body was inches from mine. "Happiness is fickle, Renesmee. It comes and goes based upon a multitude of variables, for both humans and vampires. If we seek to maintain happiness for the rest of our existence, we are sure to fail at ever truly harboring it."

"I don't follow."

"Happiness is a direct result of something, not a catalyst. Love, Renesmee, love is a catalyst for many a thing."

"So I guess I should rephrase my question to say, are you love?"

"I don't know about that." He tilted his head. "In all my years the only true thing I have come to believe is that love is the only thing to hope for, to strive for, to attain."

"And have you?"

The minute the words were out of my mouth I knew I had crossed an invisible line that I shouldn't have. A layer of intimacy had been pulled back between us and Nahuel responded as if he had no words to answer what I so bluntly asked.

"I'm...I'm sorry. That was—"

"Do not apologize, I only hesitate because it has been a long time since I have spoken about…about her." Nahuel took a seat next to me his arm grazing mine as he sighed.

"Did you love her?" I asked looking up into his face already knowing the answer.

"Very much." His gaze glanced out over the clearing and I knew he was seeing a different time, a different place. "Huilen and I traveled more often when I was younger, having just reached maturity, I was then able to turn her. Due to her vampire thirst we were forced to be nomads, living place to place, here for a season and then onto the next area before the locals found out about us. It took nearly 30 years before she was able to handle the cravings. At that time we traveled south, deep into the jungles. We were able to go unnoticed for several years." Nahuel voice stopped, his eyes glazed over and she could tell he was somewhere else, that he saw that jungle once more. "It was a day like any other, I spent that morning clearing a section of land to the south of our home, scouring the forest floor for wood to carve, when I suddenly came across a young woman hunting. She had traveled farther north than any other member of her tribe for I had not seen a human in our corner of the jungle for a year." Nahuel's eyes glanced back at me. "She was the first pale-skinned I had ever seen."

"She wasn't a member of the tribe?"

"Adopted but not blood. Her parents were English, sent across the seas to teach about their god, but they succumbed to disease when she was but a baby. The chief's first wife was barren and desperate for a child of her own. She took her in. She raised her as her own."

"And you two grew to love one another?"

"After many a time, yes. It seemed she was just as curious about me as I was about her. Her tribe told stories about demons, blood-sucking monsters who killed entire tribes. She however felt no fear, only blind curiosity upon seeing me. To this day I will never be able to know why. She should have run away, but she stayed. Much like your own mother, Renesmee."

"What happened?" I turned my body to face him fully engrossed in this sudden revelation about his past.

"We loved one another, but I…I refused to take her as a wife." Pain crossed his face as he spoke. "I did not want to risk her life, I was afraid of what might happen to her."

"Like your mother." His silence confirmed my thoughts.

"A year past. It was the happiest year I can remember, but then trouble arose with her tribe."

"They found out about the two of you?"

"We had kept ourselves a secret, for her protection. She knew she would be rejected from her people, the only family she had known, yet nothing could have prepared me for what happened." Nahuel took a deep breath. "They had her followed for many months, chose their moment to attack. Yet when they came it was not as humans, but as animals."

"Her tribe shifted?"

"I had never known until that moment such things were possible. She held them off for as long as possible and I was able to escape, only taking with me several deep gashes, which left—"

"Scares." I finished his sentence recalling our previous conversation.

"Against Huilen's wailing, I found my way to her village, desperate to take her away. Yet when I arrived that night, her still body was strapped to a single carved wooden pole in the middle of the village. The chief's first wife lay prostrate in mourning. The chief, as an example to the rest of his people, had sacrificed his daughter's life. He and the elders would not stand for any such behavior or mixing with blood-drinkers."

"Nahuel, that's horrible!" I placed my hand upon his arm not knowing what else to say or do.

"The first wife watched me approach and take down her body with care. Her black eyes never left mine until I vanished into the night without looking back. I believe to this day she wanted me to end her misery, to quench the pain she felt for watching her daughter murdered. The last moment I have of that place is her confused face, seeking to understand why I did not move to kill her. I like to think it was then that she realized not all the tales were true, that at least one blood-sucker was trustworthy. I took her body to our meeting place and buried my love there. I have not returned since, not in the last one hundred and forty years."

For the first time in a long time, I placed my hand gently against his cheek and revealed a part of my emotions, a part of my thoughts, a part of my sadness to him through my gifting. Nahuel twitched at the sudden show, his eyes watering, the tears streaming down his rust colored cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Nahuel. I wish I could change it all for you. That she was here with us now."

"I have hoped for that every day since," Nahuel took a deep breath as I released my hand from his touch, "but time and this life, if you call it that, has gone on. She remains alive only in my memory. Yet, I no longer mourn her, Renesmee, you must know that."

The way Nahuel looked at me then caused my heart to quicken once more, for a reason I had yet to determine. It was he who broke the tension by standing up and moving away towards his finished work, his eyes gazing over it carefully.

"It is quite beautiful, Nahuel." I said studying his masterpiece as well. "You are very talented."

"I enjoy it." He shrugged at the compliment.

"From carving stone into pyramids to intricate tables you carry the tradition of this region quite well." I gazed over at him, it wasn't until I saw his blank expression that I grew worried that I had offended him.

"You visited the temple?" Nahuel voice was suddenly stern, on edge, a tone he had never taken with me before. In a swift movement he once again bridged the gap between us, holding my arms in his tight grasp. "When, when did you visit it?"

"Yesterday, Jacob found it a couple of days ago on one of his runs, he wanted to show it to me." I glanced from his hands up to his eyes. "It's breathtaking." I didn't know what else to say, or why he was acting this way. Upon seeing my confusion and pain he realized his hold on me.

"I am sorry for startling you Renesmee." He quickly retreated, holding his hands up as if apologizing.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Jacob moving towards us, within moments he stood by my side, the water sizzling as his skin grew warmer.

"Jacob, please." I tried to calm him down, another minute more and he would shift right then and there. "Jacob." I saw Huilen rush to Nahuel's side, her eyes on Jacob, watching to see what might happen next.

I placed my hands on Jacob's bare arm, holding him physically back, I felt him shiver under my touch. I knew it was safe.

"You should not have visited the temple." Nahuel's voice pleaded rather than condemned as he eyes searched ours and then turned back to his aunt.

"They had no warning from us, dear one." Huilen cooed. "They did not know, it is our responsibility, not theirs."

"If anyone where to—" Nahuel stopped and we all knew why.

It was at that moment all our ears caught the approaching sound of footsteps deep within the forest. I turned towards the sound. The footsteps were heavier, not light like a vampire, nor as hard as an animal. It was human. The smell however is what confirmed it, the sweetness hit me hard, and I knew Huilen was having a more difficult time. Nahuel and I were less sensitive, more in control. She however was a beginner.

"Who is it?" I asked Nahuel.

"A member of the nearest Tacuna tribe. It sounds like two or three of them." Nahuel glanced at his aunt. Huilen simply nodded towards us. "Jacob, Renesmee, do not speak unless addressed. I will do my best to translate."

Nahuel and Huilen walked forward, until they stood at least two feet in front of us. Jacob took a step forward his body shielding mine. I listened as the steady sounds of their footprints grew closer and closer, until finally they stopped. I heard the strange voices through the brush, the language I could not understand. Was it supposed to be hostile or was that just the way it normally sounded? I looked to Nahuel, he simply stared ahead, his body still and firm.

"Nahuel, Huilen." The strange voices bellowed as they moved through the brush and into the clearing.

Their stature was much shorter than ours, yet lean and well muscled. Two older men stood straight-backed, a simple cloth, like Nahuel's, covering their lower half. Their bodies were painted nearly everywhere with black, red, and yellow lines. A third person moved slowly behind them, a woman, drabbed in a cloth made of vibrant colored fabric, a sack hung from her shoulders. She was much older than the men, her hair slightly grey on the sides, a wide taught brow, having seen many years in the sun. The two men raised their arms in what I assumed was a greeting.

I watched as Nahuel and the two men exchanged embraces, yet it was clear that they came on business. The men soon pointed past Nahuel and Huilen, to the two of us, then to the woman who stood behind them. Nahuel raised his hands and spoke for a very long time. The two men simply listened, their heads nodding one way and then shaking violently in another. Nahuel finally turned back to us, motioning us to come forward.

"This woman saw you two at the temple." Nahuel began to explain.

"This is my fault, not Ness', Nahuel." Jacob's voice echoed through the clearing. "If they want to be angry, they can take it out on me."

"They mean neither of you harm, Jacob." Nahuel stated with a smile as he placed a hand on the older man's shoulder.

"We should have warned you about the temple, we were careless." Huilen said quickly to both of us, her eyes darkened. I could tell she wasn't breathing, precautionary I assumed, for their guests safety.

The woman stepped forward her finger pointing between Jacob and I, her hands then raised to the sky above us. Her eyes were dark and deep. I couldn't help but feel as if she could see through me. She must have gone on for nearly five minutes before she stopped and pointed from Nahuel to us.

"The temple is sacred to the people. It is one of the last remaining ritual sites that remain undiscovered. So much of the jungle is no longer natural. They believe that as technology increases so do man's thirst for further exploration and devastation. To the Tacuna people that temple is their only connection to the history of their people, a place sacred, to be protected by Tacuna people, for Tacuna people." Nahuel looked from us to Huilen, before turning back to where Jacob and I stood. "We made an agreement with the tribes upon residing here, that we would not go near it."

I looked from Huilen to Nahuel back to the three strangers who stood in front of me. I knew this wasn't going to end well. We had broken a treaty we never even knew existed. I sought Jacob's hand and held onto it. He simply squeezed it as if doing so would help comfort me.

"We're sorry." I said finding my voice. I looked from the two men, obviously the leaders of their people, to the older woman. "We didn't know." I knew they couldn't understand me, but I needed to say it anyway.

The woman glanced from my eyes down to my hand that was held within Jacob's. She clapped her hands together, a large somewhat toothless grin spread wide over her face. She then began to move her feet to a silent rhythm. I glanced up at Jacob, he too it seemed was biting his lip, what had been keeping his anger at bay was now to keep his laughter silenced.

"I don't understand." Jacob spoke as he eyed the woman whose actions had baffled the two of us.

"Rhurita is a mid-wife, a great leader among the women in their tribe. Last night seven babies were born, all boys. A good omen."

"What does that have to do with us at the temple?" I asked still trying to understand.

"Rhurita traveled to the temple to place an offering to their gods on behalf of all the stillborns she had birthed within the last year. It seems the tribe has suffered greatly. Upon seeing the two of you together atop the temple, she fled in anger to tell the tribe's chief of the violation that had occurred, yet when she arrived she found seven women in need, for their time had come all at once. After the seventh boy was born, Rhurita knew in her heart that it was your doing, you pleased the gods and they in return took pity on her people blessing them with seven new sons." Huilen words carried over us. Jacob and I simply glanced at each other and back at the woman whose smile beamed at us.

"They come to request that you be the guests of honor at the blue moon festival." Nahuel spoke.

"A blue moon?" Jacob mumbled.

"An eclipse as well." Huilen spoke. "Blue moons are rare, they only occur every two or three years, but in conjunction with an eclipse makes it even more unique."

"It is in correlation with the blue moon's eclipse that this blessing they believe has been given, a marking of a new tiding for the next three years." Nahuel spoke to us.

I took a step forward releasing my hand from Jacob's. I smiled and extended my hands to them all, and nodded my head. Nahuel spoke a word and soon they all clapped their hands and began the dance the woman had begun only moments ago. I simply stifled my laugh as I looked from Nahuel to Hulien.

The woman stopped abruptly and gently took down the bag she held on her shoulder. She moved to stand in front of me and placed it into my hands. I took it, not knowing what else to do. Her eyes traveled from mine to the bag, her fingers pointing from it to me. Following her adamant instructions, I opened its flap and pulled out several pieces of blue cloth delicately trimmed with silver, the thread catching the light in the sun. The different shades of blue moved as I rubbed my fingers over the material, it was if I was holding water in the palm of my hand. Rhurita pointed to me and then back to the material in my hands.

"You must wear it for the festival." Nahuel translated.

"One woman is chosen from the tribe to wear it each blue moon festival. It is the highest honor they bestow upon a young woman."

I bowed my head towards the three of them, hoping that it would show my appreciation. Yet Rhurita kept pointing into the bag again. I glanced into it once more and was stunned by what I saw. I carefully took out the thick necklace, holding it delicately in my hand. It had to be old, for the beads were worn, yet despite it all it was the most intricate, beautiful piece I had ever seen. White, blue, and silver beads wove together to create an intricate design that encompassed each layer of the tiered necklace. Upon seeing my smile, Rhurita just smiled wider. She spoke forcibly to Huilen and then to Nahuel before turning from me and standing beside her tribesman.

"We are to arrive well before the moon is at its full height." Nahuel spoke to both Jacob and I. He turned and exchanged a few, what I assume, were good-byes, before we all watched the three turn and walk back from the brush where they had come.

"Well it would seem you are well received." Nahuel said through a tight laugh. "We will dine with the Tacuna tribe in seats of high honor." He raised his hand to his mouth as if he himself couldn't believe what just happened.

"This has never happened before." Huilen spoke as if marking the occasion with her words. "The Tacuna tribes are very wary of strangers, yet they seem to believe you are the blessing they have been beseeching the gods for."

"For trespassing?" Jacob chuckled to himself. I just nudged him in the ribs forcefully, he didn't find that funny, as he exclaimed and rubbed his hand over his side.

"You will represent the blue moon herself, Renesmee." Nahuel said as he took a step towards her pointing to the items in her hands.

"I don't have to do anything, right? I mean we just show up and watch."

"It will be a night you shall not forget." Huilen spoke with a smile as she placed her hands on the fabric I held in my hands.

I was glad that Nahuel and Huilen did not own a single mirror. For if they had I might have skipped the whole festival and paid the consequences for enticing the anger of the Tacuna tribe and their gods. I had never worn less clothing in my entire life. Living in Washington does not usually lend itself to wearing such dismal clothing, even for someone like me. It had taken at least half an hour to figure out how to put on the two pieces of blue cloth I had been given.

"Need help?" Huilen spoke from the other side of the quilt.

"Please!" I said through an exasperated sigh.

Upon entering and seeing me Huilen stifled a laugh, a simple brim of a smile crossed her face. As she moved to me and began unwrapping and rewrapping, I realized the piece of cloth I had been trying to fit over me was actually meant to be wrapped through and around the bottom, and the top, which at first I thought was a larger head scarf, was unfortunately just suppose to be that small.

With gentle fingers she twisted and tied, wrapped and tucked, until it felt completely secure, at least from complete exposure. All in all it took Huilen no more than three minutes to have me dressed. Then very carefully she placed the tiered silver and blue beaded necklace over my head, I lifted my hair so that she could fasten it tightly. Its weight was heavy as it hung over my exposed collar, yet it was the only item I was comfortable with. My exposed porcelain legs and stomach felt the soft breeze that blew through the leather cloth over my doorway. I pulled on the fabric around my waist twisting it slightly as if that would help cover more.

"Leave it alone, you will only loosen it."

"I feel…" I wanted to say naked, but I knew saying it out loud would only make be blush harder. "Is it supposed to be this small?"

"Just be grateful there is a top piece, there usually isn't." My eyes widened upon hearing Huilen's words. "Do not worry. You look—"

"Absolutely ridiculous." I mumbled.

"Exquisite." Huilen folded her hands together and nodded, a smile creeping over her face. "The blue moon goddess herself would be flattered."

"Let her wear it." I snuffed. I knew my words were harsh but this was way out of my normal zone.

I took a deep breath as if willing myself the sudden confidence and care-free attitude that was needed for such a moment as this. I decided to ignore the running thoughts in my mind and the increased heart rate that I knew probably everyone could hear. I flipped my hair over and ran my fingers through it, giving it a good toss, before flipping it back over. I bit my lip and looked back at Huilen.

"Okay, I…I think I'm ready." My hand brushed the necklace at my throat, the coolness of it was somewhat calming.

"Smile, Renesmee." Huilen spoke sweetly. "It is a festival not a funeral."

I tried to smile, but I knew it looked forced. I had to choose to have fun, to let go, to simply embrace the opportunity. This was an extreme honor. I had been hand chosen from a group of people I had never met to represent them. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Yeah, right, a once in a lifetime opportunity to make the biggest fool of myself. I shook my head and took a deep breath. Huilen lifted the cloth over the door. I followed her out of the room and into the clearing where Jacob and Nahuel stood talking. Upon noticing Huilen they broke their conversation and looked our way.

For the briefest moment I felt like rushing back into the safety of my small room, I tried not to fidget as I made my way over to them. Their eyes never leaving me as I approached, I felt myself blush underneath their stares.

"It suits you." Nahuel finally spoke his eyes still on me. "The Tacuna people have chosen well. You will fit right in." A smile broke out across his face as he said so.

"Except for the pale skin." I pointed out as I brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Simply moonlight." He muttered under his breath.

"We had better get going." Jacob chimed in as he glanced up at the ascending moon over the trees. "Don't want to keep the locals waiting."

"We will return soon." Nahuel nodded to Huilen as he turned and began walking swiftly in the direction we needed to go.

"You're not coming?" I asked turning towards her.

"No, it is better that I remain here. Nahuel will give my regards." She pointed to her nose, and I knew instantly that it would be more of a funeral than a festival for some members of the tribe if she were to loose control. "Have fun, Renesmee." She nodded with a smile.

I smiled back at her as Jacob and I followed closely behind Nahuel, leaving the clearing behind.

"What do you think it will be like?" I asked Jacob as we traveled through the jungle.

"I don't know, probably a lot different then our camp fires back on the reservation."

"Probably." I took a deep breath and exhaled as I pulled on the side of my clothing, feeling it cut into my skin as I moved.

"Stop fidgeting with it, Ness. You look…you look good." Jacob's words stumbled out of his mouth and from his reaction I knew he had wanted to say more but just didn't know how to. He nudged my bare shoulder, and I simply nudged him back.

"We had better catch up." I said upon noticing how far we had drifted from our friend.

We picked up the pace and closed the distance. The jungle was getting darker and darker as we traveled on through the thickest parts of the bushes and trees. Our path became less and less pronounced, passing streams and even walked alongside a larger river. It was the sudden but faint smell that caught me off guard, I knew we were getting close. My nose twitched at the aroma of humans, many of them. I knew now it was probably a wise decision for Huilen to stay home, this would have been very difficult for her, being so new to her diet. What caught my attention even more were the sounds that rang in my ears, heavy drums, clattering of silver upon silver, many beats all in one blend of music that filled my body as we moved closer and closer. Soon we were able to see through the tips of the trees the smoke of many fires.

"We are here." Nahuel stopped as he extended a hand to me; I looked back at Jacob, then obeyed as I placed my hand in his. Nahuel led me through the brush that cleared to reveal a large dirt path that I assumed led into the heart of the village.

The village itself was settled on the large river for I could hear the waves lapping against the sandy shore as we moved closer. The small thatched huts lay on the outside of a large circular area. We passed by countless linens hung from wooden posts; pots and basins lay strewn along the side of the circle huts smooth walls.

It seemed deserted, it wasn't until the path opened that we realized everyone had already gathered in the center of the village. At least ten fires stood ablaze throughout the center of the clearing, and gathered around them was every member of the tribe, at least two hundred people, men, women, children, all dressed in leather garments like the visitors who had invited us. Yet despite their simple attire, their bodies were covered in colorful paints. The men all had a red or yellow stripe across their eyes, their forehead, and their cheeks. The women's bodies were decorated in white, intricate designs that covered their breasts, eyes, arms, and legs. A sort of language I did not recognize. Several older members braided hair contained bright feathers or beads. I assumed it separated them from the rest, a symbol of importance. I glanced back at Jacob to see what he thought, yet it seemed we both were thinking the same thing, what had we gotten ourselves into.

Upon seeing our arrival, the entire tribe all began to cheer and rush towards us in greeting. The woman circled around me forcing me to break off from Jacob and Nahuel, yet it seemed the men too had encircled them. The women pointed and smiled, spoke aloud to one another in their native tongue. The only familiar face I saw in the crowd was Rhurita.

"Rhurita!" I exclaimed.

The sea of women parted for her and she came to stand by my side. She turned from me to the crowd and spoke enthusiastically. She pointed to the ascending moon and they all jumped and cheered. I tried to smile and follow what she was saying but all I understood was what I already knew, that I was the chosen one to represent the blue moon. Rhurita pulled at my outfit and laughed to herself, her stomach shaking when she did so. She called several names I could not catch and they moved forward in the crowd. She pointed to me and then to them and suddenly they had grabbed my arms and were pulling me across the village. I glanced back at Nahuel and Jacob, yet it seemed Jacob had already disappeared. Nahuel however was deep in conversation with the two elders. He looked up and caught my eyes, with a wave he smiled and returned to his conversation.

I didn't have another moment for the women had shuffled me into one of the larger huts, pulling the leather cloth that covered the door shut. They giggled and pointed to one another as they set about the room leaving me standing in the middle. Several torches were ablaze allowing light to filter over the room, casting shadows against the walls. I watched as the women scurried through out the large room, it seemed to me that they were gathering supplies. I waited patiently and watched quietly, mesmerized by their quick words and hearty laughter, but within moments their hands were upon me. I had no time to protest. My clothes were ripped off my body, and I almost toppled over due to their pulling this way and pulling that way. If I hadn't been in shock, I might have protested, but I honestly didn't want to hurt anyone. I knew I was stronger than all of them combined, so I simply closed my eyes and tried to be as still as possible as I felt twenty hands roam over my naked body. It seemed that they had not been pleased with the way Huilen had wrapped the cloth and now set about changing it. They pulled the top tighter and weaved one end of it over my left shoulder and tucked it into the back, the bottoms eventually becoming half loincloth, half skirt. Either way, I was grateful, for it seemed that this way of wearing the fabric was less intimidating. I took a breath as they all stopped fixing the clothing and took a step back admiring their work. They seemed to like it for they all nodded their heads very quickly.

Then came the painting, it seemed that I two should be covered in white markings like they were. I was amazed at their artistry, their tiny brushed dipped into their basins filled to the brim with white paint and within moments my whole body was covered with markings, symbols, and designs. Yet I soon realized that I was unique, for they began to use shades of blue and then silver as well, dots all along my body then up to my face. The woman in front of me mimicked me shutting my eyes, so I obeyed. I felt the cold paint wipe over my eyelids, the brim of my nose, all the way to my hairline on the side of my face. Each woman had their turn to paint my body. I stood still further as parts of my hair were braided and strewn with blue and silver beads, and small white feathers. They interwove them throughout the thickness of my hair, yet to my pleasure they kept my hair loose, unlike theirs that braided all the way down their back. It seemed they enjoyed this about me. I was finished, at least I assumed, because they all clapped their hands and danced around in a complete circle. Once their motions came to a complete stop three of them exited the hut. It was then that I heard the large shuffling of many feet and the rising noise of cheering. Yet all the sounds were soon silenced completely.

"Goddess of the Blue Moon, we are honored to be your host tonight." Nahuel's voice echoed over the silence as he translated the native tongue that I heard as well.

I smiled upon the formality he took. I knew then that this was some sort of traditional program of the festival. I just hoped I figured out what was expected of me.

"Come goddess, come and reveal yourself to your servants."

I felt a nudge on my back from the two women behind me and I walked slowly towards the doorway. I took a deep breath and pulled back the cloth taking a step out into the darkness.


	10. Part 10: Torches To Burn Bright

**Part 10: Torches To Burn Bright**

My bare painted feet felt the firm dirt underneath me, my exposed skin felt the cool breeze that flowed from the river, my nose caught the smell of wood, smoke, and spices from the pots and pans that stood over the fire, my ears heard the birds in the jungle, the crackling of the fires, the waves against the shore, the quick breathing of the hundred members of the tribe before me. My eyes tried to focus on one thing. I tried focusing on what was in front of me, the black-eyed stares and closed-mouth giggles of all those whom stood before me. I tried casting my gaze on Nahuel, his large white smile exposed upon seeing me in full costume. Yet neither seemed to comfort me.

"Oh, goddess divine. May your beauty shine light upon us." Nahuel followed behind the tribe's leader as he approached my frozen figure. The leader extended his hand towards me. Upon Nahuel's nod I placed mine in it. "Tonight we honor the blue moon and its blessings."

Nahuel smiled as he tried to come up with the right words to translate what was in their native tongue. Upon seeing his mouth the chief held up our clasped hands and the tribe let out a large cheer. The drums started again and they all began to dance. It seemed to continue on for a good five minutes before the chief raised his voice and his other hand to silence them.

"We honor the moon who gives light in the darkest of night, who marks our passing of time, whose radiance leaves us without words." I felt myself blush as Nahuel spoke aloud over the silence. "Yet, we not only celebrate the arrival of the new second moon, but we celebrate it's union with the sun, for it is through this act that all life is given."

Another cheer rose high above us as the chief and Nahuel's words drifted over the clearing. Yet the cheering did not stop, it continued as a group of torchbearers moved through the crowd. Their steps matched in rhythm with the drums that played all around us, its sound echoing through the night. People parted quickly as the group of men, who looked more like fierce warriors passed. The fire from the torches flickered casting a glow upon each person as their feet stomped the hard earth. Yelps rose among the men as they chanted in their native language above the sound of the drums. Ten torch bearers made their final steps toward the chief and I. Their voices rose together in a bellow of words that rolled of their tongues. The drums picked up speed, as if the melody spoke of a great battle that had reached its climax.

Their words and the drums fell silent, both coming to a sudden halt. A moment passed before the group divided and made an opening. As they parted I caught sight of something comforting. Jacob stood before me, his bare arms and chest painted in bright intricate yellow paint, red dye covered his eyes in the same design as mine. He wore a leather cloth around his waist much like Nahuel's. I felt myself smile upon seeing him, for with his dark features he looked like a member of the tribe. Yet he was nearly double the size of one of their warriors.

"Glorious sun, whose strength gives us warmth, whose rays plant the earth with life. We honor you." Nahuel words echoed over me.

My smile deepened upon realizing the part Jacob played in all of this. It seemed he too was taken aback, and a little uneasy about having to play a part. Well, for that I was grateful. It made too of us then. The chief extended his hand. Jacob took a step forward and placed his hand upon the chiefs.

"We honor our friends and the gift their union has bestowed upon our tribe. We feast and make glad in their presence."

The chief looked to both of us and then to the crowd before raising all our hands high above our heads.

"Let the feast begin!" Nahuel clapped his hands. As if on cue the crowd moved and shuffled into their next respective places, leaving Jacob and I with the chief.

"You both look—"

"Ridiculous." Jacob crossed his arms as he glanced from Nahuel to me. "Well, at least I do."

"It's a part of the festival." Nahuel said with a smile. "The sun and the moon."

"What's next?" I asked looking at rest of the tribe who now gathered around the large fires, the men already sitting in circles, the women seeing to the cooking food.

"The meal will be served. I suggest you try to eat what you can, it would be offensive not to. Then usually the eldest member of the tribe will tell a story. Dancing, drinking." Nahuel looked to an approaching Rhurita. "It seems we are holding the feast. Let us go and sit."

Rhurita large body shook as she moved towards us, her hands outstretched for what I assumed was mine. I gave it to her more freely this time trusting her, for she I hoped would be my guide throughout the rest of the night. With more force than I would have liked she ushered me through the circles upon circles of members of the tribe, past delicious spiced meats and plants, to the elongated low-residing table in front of the largest fire. She pointed to a seat to the right of the chief, and then she pointed to Jacob and bayed him sit to the left of the chief. Nahuel nodded to him as he took the seat on the other side of me.

"We will wait until we are served, then the tribe's, what is the word…holy man will perform a blessing, to ward off any evil spirits who would desire to enter our stomachs." Nahuel eyes directed me to a strange dressed, what I assumed, man, whose whole body was clad in beaded thatch, his face pierced multiple times.

The chief was silent beside me, the only sound was of that of his breathing and a low groaning as if he was chanting under his breath.

"Pay him no mind." Nahuel whispered as he leaned towards me, his breath warm against my bare shoulder. I caught myself turning to see him. His eyes pierced mine, the firelight echoing across them.

"This is a lot to take in." I took a shallow breath as I turned my eyes from him to the crowd of strangers whose strange chanting I still had not quite gotten used to. I saw the women move toward us, it would seem we would be served first, for all the others already held their empty bowls still within their hands.

"You are doing very well, Renesmee. The goddess herself would be proud." Nahuel laughed to himself, the sound unfortunately was drowned out as the enticing drums began to play again.

"Do you believe in her?" I asked surprised by the reverence he seemed to hold within his words.

"I have seen a lot in my many years not to hold honor for the great legends our people have built their lives upon. Some say that at night, on a full moon, you can glimpse her walking through the jungle, leaving a trail of silver footprints in the dirt, and a shimmer of pearl upon the leaves her body has grazed."

"Have you ever seen such a thing?"

"A long time ago, when I was but a boy." His eyes glazed over as his mind drifted away from this place and this time.

"Really?" I turned my body towards him fully enraptured in his words.

"I awoke in the night, the full moon's glow more bright than I had every seen it. The light penetrated the dense jungle, rays of silver shown all around me. I stood and touched the leaves believing them to be more metal than plant. I followed the light's trail and came to a clearing, the lagoon shown in the moonlight, the reflection of the moon bright amongst its rippling waters. My eyes caught sight of a single form escaping into the other side of the brush, a garment of emitting light disappearing as quickly as I had seen it. I rushed to find the owner of such beauty, and yet they were gone."

"You believe it was her, the goddess of the moon?" My eyes glanced up at the moon. Almost half of it was already black.

"Yes, a part of me hopes it was." Nahuel's eyes took hold of me once more a deep smile crossing his face. "You are beautiful Renesmee. A rare but true daughter of the moon."

I felt his hand cover mine and for a moment I let him, until the drums stopped abruptly forcing me to pull my hand away, a rush of warmth finding its way to my cheeks for being so jumpy. Nahuel turned his attention to the chief who rose beside me his hands extended to his tribe.

"Brother, come and make way for our food." Nahuel echoed the chief's words into my ear.

The holy man approached us his hand holding a large wooden stick. The drums played up again, this time in a heightened rhythm. The man danced a weird strange looking string of movements and grunts; he finally raised his stick to the fire until it caught. Once the burning seemed evident he circled his staff around three times in the air all the while the while his legs moving forcefully about until his shouts stopped. He smacked his staff on the ground and the end burned no more. As if on cue the crowd cheered and began to feast.

I glanced for the first time to the spiced smelling food that lay before me. Even in the light of the fires and torches around me, the black masses were a mystery. Nahuel words were clear to eat what I could, a sign of graciousness. My eyes looked over at the chief, his hands and fingers were already plentiful with food. Jacob however seemed much like I was, taking his time and hoping no one saw him simply move it around the bowl.

"It is not as bad as you think. Eat." Nahuel swallowed a handful.

I followed his lead and picked up a handful and quickly without thinking brought it into my mouth. The flavors blended together in an array of spice, a custom I was not used to. I held my breath to keep from coughing as I swallowed. I reached for my wood goblet in front of me and drank a large sum hoping to get rid of the burning on my tongue. Yet the drink was more potent than I had believed. My eyes widened at its taste.

"It has a kick to it doesn't it." I heard Jacob exclaim as he leaned his body back past the chief.

"Just drink more slowly." Nahuel chuckled obviously amused by my past reactions.

I made it a point to take smaller bits, and more appropriate sips from the heavy drink that seemed to keep refilling itself in my glass. After the chief seemed satisfied with his fill, having nearly belched half the time he ate, he raised his hands once more and waved them in the air. The music stopped and the crowd silenced. The chief's native tongue vaguely carried over his people, but it seemed they did not look concerned. I assumed they already knew what was to come next.

"The chief's mother, the eldest of the tribe will now recant the legend." Nahuel leaned towards me his breath warm against my neck.

My eyes tried to focus on the woman who was being brought forward into the middle of the great circle. Two men carried her and set her wooden pallet on the ground bowing as they took several steps backward. Her ruddy skin was wrinkled in creases all across her face, her eyes could barely be seen, her hands lay folded in front of her. For a moment she seemed more like a statue than a living being, for she neither moved nor spoke. Yet in a swift moment her black eyes opened wide and she stared directly at me, it was only then that she began to speak.

"Ina cue a la tourna des amouras" Her words drifted over us all, thick and rich, her voice did not shake despite her age, it held strong with purpose. I was mesmerized.

"Before time and creation, bound in the Heavens were two ill-fated lovers," Nahuel translated. I never turned my gaze from the wise woman, even as Nahuel continued to whisper the story in my ear. "Descendents of the opposing gods of light and dark, one a son of light and one a daughter of darkness. Jealous of their combined power and fear of their union, the god of light and the god of darkness agreed on one and one thing alone in their existence, that their children should never be allowed to spend eternity with the other. Light and Dark banished their children from heaven and exiled them to live eternity without the nearness of the other, Light's son born in fire and day became the Sun, Darkness' daughter, born in cold and night became the Moon. The Moon in her grief cried the Stars and created the night's sky. The Sun in his anger burned bright and vivid for a full day creating the first Sunrise and Sunset. Heaven reveled in sorrow at the act of its own sons, Light and Dark. For although the act could not be undone, Heaven granted the two lovers a gift, once every so often the Sun and the Moon would be able to meet, to align and become one. The first time the Sun and the Moon meet in the sky the Earth was born, from whom we all now have life."

The woman's hand shook as she pointed overhead to the sky. My eyes gazed up into the night only to see that the eclipse was almost complete. I looked back curious to hear more when I saw her vivid black eyes on me once more.

"Louna." Her hand extended towards me.

"You must go to her." Nahuel whispered. I nodded my head and rose from where I sat. I felt the world spin as I did so, it seemed the drink had affected me. I crossed the distance between us the best I could and stood by her side, where his finger was firmly pointed.

"Solara." Her hand extended towards Jacob.

Jake rose, his body bridging the gap between us quickly, the drink it seemed had not affected him as it had me, or at least he wasn't showing it. He bade me a nod, his eyes glancing from me to the elder woman in between us.

"Dous courbina una, dous laterinta una."

At the sound of her last words the tribe rose up a mighty cheer and stood swiftly and began dancing around their fires, the drums rattled hard and the music exploded all around us. I glanced at Nahuel for his guide but he was lost in conversation with the Chief.

"Ness, look." Jacob's voice called above the rest. His eyes glanced from the night's sky to mine and smiled, then as if beckoning me to follow his gaze he looked up once more. I let my eyes follow.

The lunar eclipse was complete, the blue moon, a second new moon this month was in full alignment with the sun. The Sun and Moon were finally one.

"Una, una!" The woman cheered with a large smile on her face as she too glanced up into the sky. Her hands clapped together and I knew that if she could she would be dancing with the rest of her tribe. Instead she grabbed my hand in hers and Jake's in the other and placed our hands together.

My eyes met Jacob's and I couldn't help but smile, for his hand felt warm like the sun in mine, and I knew mine must have felt colder, like the moon, in his. I laughed and for a moment I didn't think of all that had happened between us, I simply let Jacob pull me into his arms and let him lead me in the dancing. The rest I figured I could think about tomorrow.

I awoke the next morning to the high-pitched sounds all around me, the clanging of pots and the grating noise of a machete on wood. The shrieks of children, the native tongue played on in my ears. The tent was dark fortunately, for I knew any sunlight would be too much. The soft layers of cloth upon which I lay were warm. I touched my fingers to my head sure that I would find a wound there, for it felt as it were literally splitting into two. I took a deep breath hoping that doing so would alleviate the pain. I sat up swiftly when I recognized a second familiar sound, someone was in the tent with me, someone was in the corner, someone was there sitting in the darkness. Yet rising had caused my vision to blur and my head to spin again. I couldn't help but moan from the pain.

"You're up." Nahuel spoke from the chair in the corner. "Don't move too quickly, it'll only make it worse."

"What…what happened to me?" I mumbled breathlessly as I rubbed my head in hopes that that would alleviate the siring pain, and abate the growing sounds around me.

"Too much of that drink I am guessing." Nahuel's mouth only tightened as he spoke.

"I never thought…I mean I didn't know we could feel that…this way."

"You're half-human Renesmee, there are still some things that can affect us. Especially when you don't head my advice." Nahuel's had yet to smile, which in any other circumstance would have worried me, yet it was my perplexed expression that bade him to continue. "You seemed to enjoy it, you never slowed, you simply continued through out the night."

"I did?"

"You don't remember?" Nahuel tilted his head a questioning glance in his eyes.

"I remember the feast…the story of the Sun and Moon…dancing with Jacob." I rubbed my forehead again as if doing so would help the memories. Yet there were none, total darkness after that.

"What happened?" I looked up at him. "Nahuel—"

"Do not trouble yourself, Ness." Nahuel spoke softly, he brushed a piece of my hair away from my face.

I watched as Nahuel's gaze found its way over my face as if studying me. His eyes were kind and thoughtful, for the first time since last night I watched a smile spread across his lips. It was that smile and his thoughtful and longing gaze that made me suddenly shiver. What had happened last night?

"Take your time. I will be outside with the others." Nahuel stood and walked towards the long piece of leather that separated the darkness of the hut from the light of the day. He opened it cautiously hoping to spare me the harshness of the sun. "The women have left a few items outside the door for you." His head peeked back in. "Should you need…anything." He simply nodded and left, leaving the flap to fall swiftly back into its original position.

I took a deep breath hoping that doing so might stifle the river of emotions that flooded me. I lay back down and it was only then that I began to feel the coolness of the layers of cloth under me and the breeziness of the blanket that covered me against my bare skin. To my utter horror and bewilderment, I realized that I was not wearing a single piece of clothing. I was completely naked underneath the covers. My cheeks burned red and my mouth ran dry. I frantically searched the sides of the shiftily made bed in hopes of finding what I had been wearing last night. Yet there was nothing. Not a single piece of either fabric lay anywhere. I began to panic. I racked my brain for any explanation, for any memory within my mind of how this had happened. Yet there was nothing. Nothing but darkness where there should have been a valid reason.

I stood and wrapped the blanket around me tightly as if doing so would help stop the overflowing shame and confusion. I gently opened the flap and blocked the sun with my hand. My eyes began to water from the sudden intensity and I waited for a good minute or so before my vision came into focus. Glancing to the side of the hut I noticed what Nahuel had mentioned. There in a basket were several articles of cloth, for what I assumed I could wear. I grabbed the basket and the other one containing some bread and fruit and quickly retreated back into the safety of the hut.

I set to discarding the blanket and wrapping the articles of cloth around me as quick as possible. Once I was sure that every inch of my chest, waist and as much of my legs as possible were covered I felt better, more myself. I ate the slices of bread quickly, and grabbed the strange smaller pieces of fruit as I made my way out of the hut.

The sun once again blinded me but this time it seemed easier to handle than before. My head hurt less and my vision cleared. It seemed I had slept in the middle hut within the village, for tribesman were all around me. The men were stocking the fires, the women scurried around with pots on their hips, or some crouched near their huts using a mortar and pastel, others stood in groups talking and laughing.

Yet it was as if a spotlight suddenly hit me for upon seeing me emerge their eyes turned towards me, a large smile spread across their faces and all at once they began to chant and cheer. I had never been more utterly embarrassed in my life, and I had no idea what to be embarrassed about. I walked on simply trying to nod and smile as if I knew what they were referring to that it wasn't a big deal. I played along as best as I could.

My eyes caught sight of Jacob through the other line of huts, he seemed to be in a game of some kind with the local boys from the village. The boys were of all ages, from five or six, to nearly our age. He bent down to help pick up a younger one who had fallen. I smiled seeing his kindness and gentleness, the way the boys tears seemed to be abated at something Jacob had said. Soon the boy was up and moving swiftly along with the others.

They all held sticks with a mesh or netting on the end, passing a ball of some kind trying to pass and score into a single large wooden circle at either end. Upon hearing their fellow tribe members their game stopped and all their eyes turned to me. They all too joined in on the fun. Yet Jacob's face, which had only minutes ago been lit up, upon seeing me had become lifeless. His eyes averted my gaze and he simply patted the older boy on the shoulder as if motioning for them to continue the game. They did so but not without another round of chanting.

I felt unhinged. I felt foolish and ashamed. I felt betrayed. I felt alone. I felt embarrassed and humiliated. All emotions that stirred from a memory I had yet to remember, and had yet to be told. I knew Jacob, his face had said it all. I had hurt him last night. In some way, in some action, I had pained him greatly. The hardest part in all of this was that he still stayed. Despite it all, despite whatever I had done, he hadn't fled. He had stayed. That was what gave me hope that maybe I was wrong. Maybe just maybe there was a reasonable explanation for it all.


	11. Part 11: Tide In The Affairs Of Men

**Part 11: Tide In The Affairs Of Men**

Despite the noises of the jungle, we walked through it in silence. Nahuel took the lead, Jacob falling far behind. With every step I felt the tension mounting. Neither of us had said a word since we properly said our goodbyes to the leaders of the tribe. Rhurita's behavior hadn't offered any insight either, a large grin spread wide across her face, mumbling something in her native tongue upon our departure. Nahuel simply stated it to be an honored good-bye formality, yet the way she had said it and the blush that had crept into his cheeks upon translating it made me feel is if it had been otherwise.

"Are we far?" I finally broke the silence.

"Not too far." Nahuel turned to face me, his hands pointing in the direction we were going. "The path will become defined shortly, after that we shall be home soon."

"We can stop if you need to rest." Jacob spoke up as he brushed past us both. "You're probably still recovering from last night."

The way he spoke made me suddenly feel guilty, guilty for something I still had yet to understand. I glanced up at him and he didn't flinch. His gaze only intensified, his jaw clenching as he gazed over me as if examining me. Yet his expression made me feel for the first time in my life as if he didn't care for what he saw. I took a breath, tearing my eyes from his gaze.

"Let's go." I stated firmly, turning on my heels and walked on, Nahuel leading the way once more.

We walked until the path cleared and the trail widened, the visible markings of traffic held on the jungle floor. Nahuel just pointed and nodded his head forward as if signaling we were almost there. We continued at a fair pace until we reached the outskirts of Nahuel's home, the red and white flowers familiar scent tipping me off right away. The rushing sound of the lagoon's waterfalls a comforting sound as we crossed through the thick leaves and vines. Within moments the clearing was before us and we were back to something familiar.

"Huilen." Nahuel called across the land.

"She's not here." I walked to Nahuel's side. My instincts would have spotted her scent or sound already, yet the place was silent of her presence.

"You think she went to hunt?"

"I hope not, Jacob." Nahuel turned to face us, a solemn expression crossing his face. "I will go look for her. I shouldn't be long. We never go far without the other, for safety."

"We'll come with you." I placed my hand on his arm to help comfort the concern that seemed to have found it's way over his demeanor.

Nahuel glanced from my face to where my hand rested on his arm, placing a gentle hand on top of it. I could hear Jacob's heart rate double as he did so.

"No need." He smiled as if doing so might convince me he was all right. "I won't be gone long. Stay, rest." He stepped out of my touch and within moments had vanished from sight.

"I hope she is okay." I turned back to Jacob but he too it seemed was gone, halfway across the clearing heading towards his hut.

For a moment I wanted to call out to him, but I knew him well enough to know that now wasn't the time. He needed space to cool off, but from what was still a mystery. I, however, found a much more recreational way to stifle the heat that seemed to have settled in. Within moments my body was submerged within the lagoon, my arms and legs moving gently through the rippling water.

I swam to the deepest part near the waterfalls and dove deep, fully submerging myself into the darkness below. I held my breath for as long as I could, which given that I was half-vampire, was long enough to clear my head. The stillness of sounds creating a peaceful retreat for my emotions and thoughts, the coolness a refreshing change from the heat of the jungle.

I emerged from the deep and once again filled my lungs with oxygen. The beating power of the water above surging down onto my hard skin, my eyes opened and let the sun's rays warm my face. I let myself stay like that feeling the coolness of the water; the warmth of the sun until it's rays became blocked by the foliage of the jungle. I swam towards the shallows and upon finding my footing on the rocky floor below I walked out of the water, falling onto the shore.

I laid there my arms supporting my head, my eyes closed to everything but my ears awakened to all the sounds around me. From the water's gentle waves around my ankles, to the screeching birds in the trees, the monkey's deep in the jungle, and finally Jacob's footsteps. They were getting louder and louder, until without looking I knew he was standing above me. The sudden darkness cast over my eyes only confirmed it.

"I thought you were taking a nap." I spoke opening my eyes only to find his face above me.

"Couldn't sleep." He sat down next to me letting his feet submerge into the water.

"I figured Nahuel would have been back by now." I lifted myself onto my elbows. At the mention of his name, Jacob's heart-beat increased. I couldn't help but sigh as it did. Sitting all the way up, I took a moment before I turned to look at him. "So are you going to enlighten me about that or am I going to have to guess?"

Jacob's gaze never moved from looking out over the lagoon, his face straight and steady, he never flinched.

"You are not the only one who can hear a heart beat, Jake." Turning my body towards him, I crossed my legs, our knees folded over the other. "It works both ways you know." His jaw clenched and I noticed his hands did the same. "Jake, just tell me." I placed my hand on his leg trying to smile.

"You tell me, Ness." His gaze finally shifted to me, but his body moved away from my touch. "Why did you do it?"

I felt my heart constrict at his question. Do what? What had I done? I knew it had to do something with the way I had woken up this morning, how the tribe had reacted upon seeing me, the way Jake himself had glanced at me too.

"Do what?"

"I have never known you to be a liar, Renesmee." Jake glanced back at the water as if it hurt too much to look at her.

"You haven't called me by my full name in years." I bit my bottom lip so much so that I felt any moment I might pierce the hard skin.

"You're mad." Jacob for some reason couldn't contain his laugh as he noticed my behavior.

"This isn't funny Jake!" I cried out as I turned my gaze away from him, glancing intently at my clenched hands. "You are obviously the one that is mad. You have been ever since you saw me this morning! I just…I just don't know why." I found the courage to find his eyes once more.

"You really don't know do you?" Jacob covered his mouth with his hand as if stifling another laugh or angry word.

"No, I honestly have no idea! I woke up this morning and suddenly there was this big gapping mystery. You and Nahuel were on edge, not to mention the entire village pointing and laughing." I turned my face back towards his. "What happened, Jake? What is so horrible that you of all people would be—"

"You kissed him, Ness."

Jake hadn't waited another beat to reveal the mystery to me. It was as if he too had been waiting all day to tell me, just like I had been waiting all day to ask him. His body shook as he let the sudden revelation fill the space between us.

"When? When did I—"

"You were dancing." He didn't look at me. He just took another deep breath.

I closed my eyes as if doing so would help my brain retrace its thoughts and actions. Yet nothing surfaced, no faint memory made its way to surface of my mind.

"What happened then?" I pressed in further knowing from his body language that there was still more.

"He didn't push you away, if that's what you want to know." Jacob turned his gaze back on me.

I had only seen that look two or three times in my life, and it had never been directed at me. It was look of pure animalistic anger, the wolf it seemed was breaking through.

"Jake—"

"I watched you Ness." Jacob's body shuddered as he tried to control the rage that was boiling within him. "I stood there paralyzed. Paralyzed while you kissed him, paralyzed when he kissed you back, paralyzed when you led him into that hut."

"Led him…led him to the hut?" I felt the world rotate around me as his words sunk in. This was a dream. This couldn't be real.

"For the first time I felt what it was like to really lose you, to feel the affects of being rejected by you, the weakness, the aging. The decisions you made last night set that path in motion for me."

"No—" My body reacted instinctively and I tried to reach out to him but he just brushed me off. As much as I hated to admit it sometimes, he was stronger than me. "Jake, I don't remember…I don't remember anything of what you have just told me!" I lifted my body off of the ground and went after him. "Jake, please!"

"I believe you, Nessie." He turned back, his face still hard. "I can hear your heart." It was only then that his face softened and a smile spread across it. "I believe that you don't remember, probably a result from the amount of that drink you consumed all night."

"Jake—"

"Regardless, Ness, what I saw still happened, and the result remains the same." Jacob's jaw clenched once more as he looked me in the eyes. "Your heart…your heart has chosen someone else and because of that —" Jake stopped as if unwilling to say what we both new was now true. "Because of that, it seems the elders were right, I will no longer shift."

"How do you know, Jake?" I asked as I took two steps forward trying to bridge the large gap between us.

"I spent the last hour trying, Ness! I…I couldn't do it."

"Jacob, I am…I'm so sorry, I don't know—"

"I will leave first thing in the morning. I don't …I don't need to intrude anymore on your time here." He took a deep breath before turning and walking away.

"Jake!" I called out to him but he just crossed the clearing and entered his hut leaving me standing there alone.

I felt the weight of my actions fall onto me in that single moment. I left my home. I left Jake behind because I didn't want to hurt him anymore. I thought that leaving and coming here would protect him from all that, from me, from what might happen. Yet it seemed that my plans had all failed, I without my memory or knowledge it seems had finally made my decision. That betrayal, that rejection was costing him his life.

If it was true, if all that Jake had said had actually happened and my heart had chosen someone else, then why did I feel as if I was somehow dying too?

"We were worried about you." I placed my hand on Huilen's as she plated more food into our hand-carved bowls.

"I went to gather herbs from the other side of the great river. I did not think you would be back so soon." I noticed her eyes, which had once been all red were changed around the edges to brown. I couldn't help but think of my mother's as I found her gaze, for they too once looked the same.

"We didn't want to overstay our welcome." Nahuel simply explained as he brought his spoon to his mouth.

"Is Jacob not hungry?" Huilen asked concerened.

"It seems he isn't. I think he's tired from…from last night's festivities. He's more human than we are I am afraid." I tried to smile but I knew I looked half-hearted. In truth Jacob had yet to come out of his hut all afternoon. He seemed content to avoid me and us for the remainder of the night.

"He's appetite usually says otherwise." Huilen laughed quietly to herself. "I will save some, maybe he will want it later."

"Maybe." I took the last remaining bits of my meal in silence not knowing what else to say on the subject.

I knew however that I should start thinking about it though, by tomorrow he would be gone, and then I would have to come up with some sort of reasonable explanation.

"Me too." Nahuel grinned. "What do you think Renesmee?" His black eyes caught the remaining light of the setting sun, giving them a deep radiance that I had never seen before.

"Hmm, what?" I asked, even with heighten ability to hear sound I had missed it.

"Nahuel's new table, it fits very nicely, do you not think?" Huilen brushed her hand against the sleek wooden table-top. It was just high enough to where they all could sit under it.

"A masterpiece." I complimented. "You could sell them Nahuel, honestly. I am sure Alice knows a rare arts buyer who would be thrilled to have something like this. You could make a small fortune if sold to the right clientele. "

"Thank you for your compliment, Renesmee, but what need do we have for money that nature does not already provide?" His smile widened, his hands expanded as if revealing all that was around them.

"True." I nodded, realizing how different our two worlds really were.

I spent the last months living in, off, and around nature and hadn't wanted for anything, yet I had spent the last eighteen years in a world where money was a necessity to blend in, to protect, and to survive.

"Let me help you with those." I asked standing as I saw Huilen gather our dishes and set them near the washbasin.

"No need." She just spoke softly as she set about her work.

I glanced back at the now empty table, Nahuel rested his hands on his knees as his feet crossed underneath him, his bare chest rising and falling with his steady breathing. He smiled up at me as he caught me staring. I knew my cheeks must have turned crimson from being found out.

My eyes turned from his figure to the world outside, the sun was making its final descent over the horizon for the sky was streaked in colors of red and orange. The jungle floor was turning darker, the water in the lagoon returning black once more. The noises around us remained the same, birds and monkeys talking noisily to one another, the rushing of water. Yet above it all my ears heard the rustling of quilts and blankets, of breathing and sighing, as Jacob tossed back and forth. I felt my heart constrict within my chest, my stomach clinching once again. I took a deep breath. I needed to get away.

"Nahuel, would you…take a walk with me?" I knew the minute I had spoken the words that Jacob would hear them. Yet hearing his restlessness and knowing that I was the reason for it seemed just as torturous.

"Of course." Nahuel stood and extended his hand towards the empty doorway. "Follow me."

I glanced back at the hut at the edge of the jungle once more before turning and following Nahuel's lead, hoping that distance might help calm the storm that seemed to be raging in Jacob's mind tonight.


	12. Part 12: To Thine Own Self Be True

**Part 12: To Thine Own Self Be True**

Nahuel led me through the clearing and into the jungle as we weaved in and out of the low-lying branches. The jungle's nightlife was beginning to emerge as the sun's rays drifted to black. My eyes caught sight of the birds nesting high above in the trees, monkey's scattered as we moved over and under the trees. Our bodies ran swiftly beside one another as we continued to make our way through the heart of the jungle. Nahuel didn't slow down until we came to a steep incline, soon emerging on top of a rocky cliff, the tree line quickly residing.

"Another one of your spots?" I smiled brightly as we slowed to a walk.

"Yes, I find that this one however is truly best at twilight."

"It's quite remarkable." I glanced up at the thousands of bright lights in the sky that were just beginning to emerge.

"Yes, it is." Nahuel affirmed as he took a seat on the edge of the cliff, his feet hanging off the edge. "Come, sit." He extended his hand and I took it willingly as I too sat down carefully beside him.

"Let's just not jump off this one, okay?" I couldn't help but laugh as I gazed down into the purple haze of the valley.

"Of course." He smiled brightly, his white teeth a deep contrast to his dark skin.

The great river snaked over the land, its blackness contrasting the trees that formed all around it. We were high enough to see it fall seven times until it flowed smooth across the wide expanse of the earth.

"I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up here." I breathed out in wonder at all that was before us.

"You have a forest back home." Nahuel pointed out with a sly smile.

"Not like this." I laughed as I brushed my long wavy hair out of my face. "This place seems timeless, untouched."

"Man has left its mark. Huilen and I have migrated and hunted through this jungle for nearly two hundred years, every decade there seems to be less and less."

"Do you think at some point all this will be gone?" I turned to face him curious as to what he might say.

"The land is life, my ancestors say. Take away the life force and there will only be death."

"As true as I believe that to be, our world is becoming smaller Nahuel, populations are increasing, people's lives are lengthening. Technology could locate us even now."

"That was, was it not, Aro's greatest concern?"

"Yes, the Volutri fear that as knowledge increases so does the ability for our secret world to be seen." I couldn't help but look away, the sudden mention of Aro and that day in the snowy field made me uncomfortable.

"It seems you and I however are able to blend in more than full-blooded vampires."

"That's what I am afraid of." I mumbled to myself as my eyes caught sight of a shooting star.

Nahuel didn't press me, he just watched me very closely, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Have you ever kept something from Huilen?"

My question seemed to take him back as if surprised by my sudden frankness. His eyes narrowed as if gazing harder out into the night. I heard his heart beat fast and his breath deepen. Whatever his answer was, it seemed to be hard for him to say.

"Ijada." He spoke the word as if it was a caress and I knew instantly that it was her name, the name of the woman he had loved all those years ago.

"Ijada." I repeated it out loud.

"It comes from _piedra de ijada__. _Ijada's tribe named her such due to her vibrant green eyes. Her eyes were the color of the stones their warriors had seen worn by high priests of other tribes from the north."

"You kept her a secret?" I asked filling in the holes.

"At the time I thought it best. Neither of us knew what might come from our union. I was afraid of what Hulien might say, of what she might ask me to do. I was young then, independent, roaming the jungle alone for longer periods of time. I believed that Huilen never noticed." Nahuel's eyes darkened and I knew memories were resurfacing, ones that he had not thought of since long ago. "For a century, I believed that my greatest mistake was not having the courage to do what was best for Ijada, to leave her, to break off our tie before her tribe—" His voice went silent. Seconds passed before he continued. "Now age and time has revealed that my greatest mistake was not letting the one who loved me most help me in my greatest hour of need."

"I have kept something from the ones who love me most too." I finally found the courage to give reason for my question, yet I gave nothing else, anymore would put him in danger.

We sat in silence for a while simply watching the earth and all its creatures move as the night pronounced itself to the two if us. The bats flew above us, the stars became more and more pronounced. We heard the cries of the jungle and yet neither one of us moved.

"I am glad you came with me," I spoke finally breaking the silence, "because I wanted to ask you—"

"About last night."

"How did you—"

"The minute I returned this afternoon, you looked as if you were suddenly terrified to see me." His smile faded.

"Jacob told me about it." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Nahuel, I honestly have no memory of what happened. I woke up this morning to you beside my bed…in the…state that I was, and the minute I walked out of the hut it was as if the whole world was in on a secret that I wasn't."

"What do you remember?" He asked turning his body towards me.

"I remember the feast, the story of the moon and sun, I remember seeing the eclipse."

"What else?"

"Jacob." I closed my eyes as if allowing all of last night's festival to fill my mind once more. "I remember dancing with him. I remember dancing with him and then waking up the next morning, that is all I can remember."

"Nothing more?"

"Nothing, Nahuel, and that's what scares me the most."

"I knew when you opened your eyes this morning that you were confused, but I did not know to what extent the drink had affected you."

"What happened between us, Nahuel? Please, I need to know."

I held my breath as Nahuel glanced out over the land, I knew he was thinking of the right words to say. In that moment, I wished that I had my father's gift so that I could see it before he even spoke it out loud, saving myself from this embarrassing torture.

"You kissed me during the dance." He spoke up. "I must say I was taken by surprise."

"I'm sorry—"

"I'm not, Renesmee." I was surprised when he placed his rough hand on my cheek. It felt different than I expected. "You are the first woman I have kissed in a very long time, and I did kiss you back."

"Jacob mentioned that part." I took a breath as if doing so would help re-shift the world back into order. It didn't work.

"You told me after we parted that you wanted to speak to me in private, at least that's what I heard you say. You took me by the arm and led me into the nearest hut."

"I think I can jump to the end myself." I sighed heavily; hearing anymore was only going to make things worse.

I didn't need the details, not anymore on that point at least. I felt myself cover my face with my hands as if doing so would let me hide the embarrassment that was fortifying itself around me. I finally released them and let my eyes find his once more.

"I don't know what came over me or what caused me to be so bold—

"Nothing happened between us after that point, Renesmee." Nahuel smiled and laughed. He placed his hand on top of mine squeezing it gently.

"But—"

"You and I got to the hut and you…became ill…all over yourself."

"I threw up?" My eyes widened in surprise.

"All over the sacred traditional blue moon garments and necklace. I had to get some of the women to undress you. You, you became unconscious."

"But Jacob, he told me that—"

"I never saw Jacob the rest of the night. I went to look for him, but he vanished until the next morning."

"He thought that you and I had, well um." I caught his gaze and even in the darkness of the night I could see his cheeks turn red.

"I would never have allowed that to happen, at least not last night, not in that way." Nahuel spoke softly.

"I...I don't know what to say." I found myself suddenly smiling, the depth of what this meant filled my whole being as his eyes glanced back at me.

"I am fond of you Renesmee and I do not regret kissing you last night." Nahuel placed his hand once again on her white face. "I enjoyed it, very much in fact," he laughed embarrassed as well removing his hand and placing it once more on the cliff face grasping the edge. "I think it is only natural for us to be curious about the other. I have been from the moment I saw you nearly seventeen years ago, to seeing you in the jungle as you are now. I would be lying if I said that my curiosity has not grown into interest, but I do not believe that you care for me in that way. "

"But I kissed you?" I stated plainly, the fact couldn't be avoided that I was the one who had initiated it.

"You did, but only a moment ago you said that the last thing you remember is dancing with Jacob." He breathed in the night air and exhaled before turning back to her once again. "You once told me, Renesmee, that the story of you and Jacob would take days to tell."

"It would." I laughed biting my lower lip to stop myself.

"Tell me." Nahuel brought his left leg up and rested his arms in it, his other dangling off the side. "You thought that I was him, the least you can do is explain why." A large wide smile crossed his face. His eyes caught mine in the darkness waiting for me to speak. I felt myself once again blush under his gaze.

"Jacob is, Jake is, he has always been…mine." I covered my face with my hands and laughed hard, the force of it carrying out into the night. "That's sounds absolutely ridiculous, I know, but I never…I never knew anything different."

"Until…" Nahuel turned his head as if studying me more.

"I reached maturity. Things changed after that. I began to realize what all of it meant. I began to see and understand what it meant for Jacob to have imprinted with me, up until then I just knew that I was special to him; he was my best friend, my protector, caretaker. I soon began to learn that being me made it harder for him than any of the others."

"I do not understand."

"Our relationship is different, more fragile than the others. I do not feel bound to him the same way his pack's imprintees do. In some ways I have more of a choice."

"A choice to love him?"

"I guess in a way yes." I nodded.

"You believe love to be a choice?" He asked through a wry smile. "Maybe that is your problem."

"What do you mean?" I asked caught off guard by his sudden frankness.

"I did not choose to love Ijada, I chose to speak to her, I chose to ask her name, I chose to touch her hand, I chose to be with her, but my love for her came before all of that. My heart's path was already marked long before she ever crossed into it. Love is deep within us, here." He pointed to the center of his chest. "Not here." He brought his hand to his forehead.

"And what if being with me puts him in danger? Is that truly loving him?" I exclaimed breathlessly. "Not being with him is hurting him just if not more, whatever happened last night, the choices I made are now forcing him to no longer be able to shift. I hurt him either way Nahuel, there is no best case scenario. That's why I left. I wanted to stop hurting him more, I wanted to protect him."

"You once said that you wished you could release him, so that he could find someone else who could give him what you felt you could not."

My mind blurred once more as I remembered those words I had spoken. I had wanted that for him, I still do.

"A family…a future." I bit my lip as the memories rolled over me.

Seeing him on the reservation with Emily and Sam's children, with all of the younger generations, seeing him this morning playing with the young boys in the tribe. Him picking the youngest one up, the way his whole body had seemed so alive, he had looked so right in that part.

"You still are afraid of what might be, Renesmee." Nahuel turned back to me, his facial expression changing as he stared at me in the darkness. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

It was only then that I realized there were tears on my cheeks, wiping them away quickly I took a deep breath.

"No, your right. I ran away from my life, from Jake, for many things. One of them being that I felt I could never give him a full life."

"If this land, this life, has taught me anything in nearly two hundred years, it's that things are not always as they appear to be. Given time, the plants and animals of the jungle can bend and change to fit their environment and over even more time, given a new challenge, they can adapt and survive. If only given the opportunity to rise to the occasion."

"Iron sharpens iron." I spoke not knowing what else to say.

"Come on, it's getting late." Nahuel stood quickly and extended his hand.

I once again took it willingly and was lifted off the ground without any effort. We retraced our steps at a slower pass as we passed through the depth and darkness of the jungle, crossing streams and waterfalls. I followed him lost in my own thoughts until we were outside my open door.

"Good night." His voice resonated over me.

"Thank you, Nahuel." I stood on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

He seemed surprised, but relaxed against my sudden embrace. I let him go and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before turning to my own room.


	13. Part 13: Love Is Not Love…

**Part 13: ****Love Is Not Love…**

_I moved through the jungle like lightning, the noises around me blending into a symphony of nature. I flew through the trees and branches until I stopped at a wide opening; my pace slowed as I brushed back the leaves of the trees and followed the sound of the rushing water. The rainforest had fallen away and before me was the most beautiful waterfall I had ever seen, its rushing water sent mist high into the air as it plummeted into the river that rapidly moved past me. _

_ I remembered this place; I knew I had seen it before. As my eyes gazed at my surroundings, I recognized the dream. I was back in my old nightmare. I felt the air thicken and the ground began to shake. A blood-curdling scream escaped my lips, as dozens of leopards were closing in on me. I knew there was no time; their claws were already sinking into the rich soil, their fangs sharp in the sunlight, in seconds all of them would be gaining on me. _

_ A large figure emerged from the jungle. Jacob had found me. I tried to run to him but my feet stood firm where I was, I couldn't move, I couldn't help. He didn't shift, he remained human even as the leopards circled around him. He glanced back at me and I recognized his weakness. He was no longer strong, he was older, tired. His eyes held no life. He took one last look at me before returning his gaze towards the yellow-eyed leopards that were before him. _

_ Within seconds the leader leaped onto his back and sank it's teeth into Jacob's body, blood spilled from his wounds. The rest descended upon him. I heard myself screaming over and over as his body tumbled onto the jungle floor. I screamed his name as I saw his brown eyes slowly close. He was dead, my Jacob was dead and it was my fault. _

I awoke in the darkness shivering from an un-known cold that I knew I couldn't feel. I clutched my heart as if making sure it hadn't been ripped from my body. Every part of me felt broken at what I had just seen. I tried to breathe but it felt as if I could not get enough air. I crumbled back into my cot and held my body shaking as I did so. I wept silently into my arms as my ears listened to the sound of Jacob's sleeping body. He was alive, but unlike last time he wasn't here to comfort me. Slowly I let myself fall asleep by listening to the lulling sound of his heavy breathing.

_ I searched for what seemed like hours in the darkness of the jungle and finally found him in a clearing. His back was turned, his chest was bare, dressed like one of the tribesman from the festival. His bronzed skin etched in yellow and black. As if hearing me approach, he turned, his smile bright and white. _

_ He ran to me and lifted me into his arms, a laugh escaping his full lips. His skin felt like fire as his hands placed me back onto the ground, yet they soon found their way to my waist. My mind shifted and the images blurred. Within moments I felt his skin, the weight of his body on top of mine, the jungle floor soft beneath me. His hands grasped mine as his lips crushed against me. I felt electrified, my stomach clenching from the feelings that were coursing through me as his touch intensified. I surrendered to him, to his body, as he moved over me causing my whole being to erupt in pleasure. _

I almost bolted out of bed, as the sound of thunder permeated through the hut. The images from my dreams beat over my mind as if I was still in them. My body ached for what I had seen but not experienced. Holding my head in my hands, I leaned over the cot placing one foot in front of the other. I took a deep breath and stood. What was wrong with me? What was happening to me? I had never dreamed anything so vividly before. Nor anything so…well that. It was as if every inch of me was crying out for something…or more like someone.

As I began to wake my body tuned itself to my surrounding, the roar of the rain as it hit the ground and the lagoon, the waterfalls rapid movement, the birds, the smell of the flowers, the faint spice in the air. I listened for my friends, for Huilen's steady weaving or cooking, for Nahuel's carving, for Jake's deep voice. Yet there was no one to be heard. I walked quickly into the main living area only to find it deserted. My eyes found the paper on the new table, scribbled he simply wrote:

_Huilen and I have gone to hunt._

_Be back in a few days._

"Well, that explains them." I exclaimed.

My heart suddenly constricted and I felt the swift pain of realization. Jacob! He said he was leaving today. I ran as fast as I could to his hut, throwing back the covering, it was empty. He was gone.

"Jacob!" I called out through the clearing. The rain splattered against my face as another sound of thunder rolled through the jungle. "Jake!" I turned and screamed into the clearing once more as loud as I could, forcing my voice to carry over the rains of the storm.

He had left, he was gone and I had never gotten to tell him the truth of what had really happened between Nahuel and me. I had not gotten to say good-bye. I breathed deep and recognized through the sweet smell of the rain the spicy and warming scent that was and could only be Jacob. It was faint but still detectable. I speed in the direction that I was certain he had taken.

I rushed as fast as I could down the paths, following the familiar smell of musk and cinnamon as best as I could. I flew through the jungle, calling his name aloud, hoping that his ears would hear. I stopped suddenly, the trail had gone cold, I breathed again but there was nothing. I had lost him.

"Jacob!" I called desperately into the wild. "Jake! Jake!"

I felt myself finally collapse onto my knees my eyes brimming with tears. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the forest. The water lapped over me as it created puddles around my knees and feet. I heard the screeches of the toucans and the monkeys in the tops of the trees, the rushing sound of flooding water, the swaying of the leaves and branches, everything but him.

"Where are you?" I mumbled to myself as I wiped the tears that fell and mixed with rain. "Please, Jake!" I called once more desperate to see him again, to tell him the truth, to save him from what I had seen.

I took a deep breath as if doing so would help heal the permeating ache in my chest. The aroma of cinnamon, musk, and forest returned fully once more. It wasn't until this moment in the deep jungle of the Amazon that I realized that Jacob smelled in every way like home.

"Jake?" I whispered as I slowly opened my eyes afraid that I might be mistaken.

I heard the brush move in front of me, and there he emerged behind several branches of thick vegetation, water fell off of him, all bronzed skin, black hair, and deep brown eyes of him. He looked surprised and frightened, his chest rising and falling with his breathing heavy from exertion. Within moments he was kneeling beside me, his hand brushing the wet hair that had fallen into my face, his concerned eyes glancing at my tear-stricken face.

"Ness?" His voice penetrated me and without a second thought I engulfed him in my arms. He swayed slightly from the force but quickly wrapped his steady arms around me. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned. "What's happened Ness?"

His hands moved over my back as if doing so would soothe me. I could feel his body shake from my touch. I pulled away from him and yet his hands never left me. He gripped my shoulders as his dark eyes scanned my face, my body; his eyes finally searched around us for any sign of danger. I just smiled at how despite all that had happened between us, his first instinct was to take care of me, to protect me.

"You left. You left without saying goodbye." I spoke my eyes never leaving his.

"I didn't think it mattered." He spoke honestly.

It was only then that he released his hold on me and stood turning his body away from me. The images from my dreams hit me once more and I felt my stomach tighten against the feelings it brought on.

"I wanted to leave before you woke up." He spoke his body shaking even now. "I couldn't…I couldn't tell you good-bye, Ness." I knew he was trying his best to keep calm, to be strong.

Yet, I too found the strength it seemed to stand and face him. I placed my hand gently on his back, he flinched slightly from my sudden touch.

"Jake, please."

His body slowly turned to me and I bridged the remaining distance that parted us. He took another breath, his dark brown eyes never leaving mine, he was inches from me; despite the cool rain I could feel the steady warmth from his skin. I breathed in the fullness of him. I couldn't help but shiver at the way it made me feel.

I didn't know what to say and I didn't know how to say it. But I did know a way that I could show it. He seemed surprised when I placed my hand gently upon his warm cheek. Yet his expression soon changed as I showed him only what I knew now to be true.

I showed him the images from my first dream, screaming his name as I watched him being attacked, I saw myself waking up to his comforting presence and frantically seeking his embrace, I showed him holding me, waking up together that morning, how right and easy it had felt. I watched on as all the images from the last months formed in my mind, him helping me climb the ruins, my head on his shoulder, the insecurity and uncertainty of the future. The way he had looked at me as I appeared in the blue moon festival costume. The feeling of his hand in mine as we were led in the ceremony. The last image I remember when dancing, the image of his bright and smiling face. My mind shifted to waking up cold and alone and not understanding why he wasn't with me, why Nahuel was there. Seeing him playing with the children in the tribe and the look he had given me. Our talk by the lagoon, the confusion and hurt I had felt. How much pain hurting him had caused me. I shifted to scenes on top of the cliff with Nahuel, the truth he had told me, that Nahuel had gone looking for him to help me but he was gone, the feelings of relief and happiness I had felt in knowing that nothing more had happened.

I showed him then what I wanted to have happened, images of the festival, of us dancing together, of him taking me in his arms and kissing me in front of everyone. I tried to make him understand that he was the one who I had meant to be with that night.

I felt him try and pull away as if wanting to respond to what I was showing him, but I just pressed on. There was still more that I wanted him to see. I recalled the images from my dreams, I showed him as much as I could remember. How afraid I had been when he was killed again this time unable to shift, waking up in a cold sweat wanting desperately to feel his comforting embrace again, knowing this time that he wouldn't come. Listening to his breathing as I went back to sleep.

My stomach and heart gripped as I breathed deeply as the last remaining images flowed from me into Jake's warm skin. I showed myself frantically searching for him, the knowledge that he was gone, and the swift and penetrating pain of losing him.

"Don't leave Jake." I begged finally breaking him free of my gift. "I don't want you to go."

His eyes opened swiftly as the images faded and he returned to where he was. He held onto my waist to steady himself from all that he had seen, from all that it had made him feel. His eyes trying to adjust to the world that was around him, as if waking up from a dream.

I mustered the courage to show him one final image. It wasn't something that had happened or what I had wanted to happen, it was something that I finally was ready for, something that I finally wanted him to do.

It didn't take but a second for the images of my dream, of his kiss, his touch and his body entangled in mine to pass through me and into him before he reacted instinctively. His eyes opened quickly, my stomach tightened as they found mine for they seemed more black than brown. He placed his hand behind my neck, his other still gripping my waist and kissed me hard.

The first time we kissed I was caught off guard. I was confused and scared. I retreated from it, yet as I felt his warm lips crush against mine, I realized that this time I wanted it, I wanted this, but more than anything I wanted him. A part of me fortified in that moment, the moment I realized that I was never going to be ready enough to fall in love with him. Denying him, denying the way he made me feel, denying my love for him, was denying my heart the very thing it craved most, him.

My lips moved desperately over his, his hands moving from my neck, down my back to my waist bringing me tightly to him. I chose…more than that…I surrendered to the way he made me feel, to how alive he made me feel with each new moment. I surrendered to the way he had always loved me. I grasped the back of his neck, loving the new feeling of having his lips on mine, loving the electrical current it sent through my whole body.

"Ness."

His breath felt warm against my face as he slowly stopped, his touch loosening as he took a deep breath. His eyes opened and found mine, the desire evident in his gaze. I pulled him to me once more and he gave in too. Without strain he lifted me until I felt the pressure of a tree trunk on my back. His free hand gripping mine as his lips once again consumed me. I pulled him closer, wanting to feel every part of him. I found myself whispering his name, his body shaking upon hearing it.

Yet just as quickly as he had started it, he ended it by swiftly pulling away. I opened my eyes only to find him several feet away, his eyes still fixed on me, his body shaking and breathing heavily.

"I think we should stop before we get ahead of ourselves." He spoke breathlessly, his hand around the back of his neck as if doing so might relieve the tension that was apparently overwhelming him.

"I want this, Jake. I want you." I called into the distance that he had put between us, a large smile on my face.

"I sort of figured that out for myself about halfway through there." He smiled, a boyish grin crossing his. I couldn't help but laugh at him, for he looked very well pleased with himself. "And you know how long I have waited, Ness. How much it means to me to hear you say that—

"There is a but in here I know it." I placed my hands against the tree behind me and stood up straighter, finally letting my feet hold the weight of my body.

"But I want this to be right. I don't want to rush into anything that you might…regret." He took a step forward his eyes never leaving mine.

"You're afraid that I might change my mind?" I asked my heart suddenly beating harder; I knew he recognized it as well.

"Yes, you will always have that choice. I just…I just don't want to make the same mistake of sub-consciously pressuring you. You are not bound to me the way that I am—"

"I am in love with you, Jake." I exclaimed breathlessly, the words feeling foreign but unexplainably right on my tongue. I felt the tears unfold again.

He bridged the distance between us, seeing and sensing my heightened emotions. His body touched mine once more as if doing so might take back the pain that he believed he had caused. I didn't look at him, my gaze focused on the rise and fall of his chest. He held me tighter, his arms engulfing me once more. Slowly I raised my head to meet his steady gaze.

"As a girl I came to realize that you were all mine." I laughed at the sudden declaration finding it suddenly embarrassing, yet I continued. "At times I was selfish with you, wanting your attention all to myself, but I found comfort, security, solace in the thought that you would always be with me. Upon reaching maturity…I found it, you, us, confusing and terrifying. I began to feel like I couldn't give you what you needed, what you deserved, I wanted you to have—"

"I want nothing but you." He affirmed.

"I wanted more for you, Jake. I always have." I exclaimed, knowing that he was not understanding at all what I was trying to say.

"You felt like you were not good enough?" He pulled away from me as if seeing me for the first time.

"Yes and no." I sighed. "You wanted to be with me in this life that you envisioned, but I never let myself envision it with you. That's one of the reasons why I have been trying to put so much distance between us."

"And now?" He placed his hands on my cheek softly as if only proving his point.

"I don't want there to be any at all." I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me once more.

His kiss was soft and sweet, as if he was savoring each moment. He pulled back again, his breathe heavy against mine.

"I love you, Ness." He spoke gently his body straightening as his eyes caught mine. "I have loved you since the first moment I looked into these deep brown eyes. I want this life with you, no one else, whatever happens."

He rested his head against mine and breathed me in, the rain falling from his head to mine. I just wrapped my arms around his neck enjoying the sudden ability to hold him this close. I pressed my lips against his once more as if telling him of my need, he responded in full as his lips touched mine once again, this time more deeply and intimately than before. We stayed like that just lost in each other until I pulled away, a bright blush making its way over my face. I placed my hand against his cheek and showed him the letter I had found from Nahuel.

"A couple of days." Jacob's eyes turned black once more.

I simply nodded and pulled my body from his embrace, intertwining my hand in his as I pulled him in the direction of the clearing, a growing smile filling both our faces. It took us a matter of minutes to return to the lagoon and the huts that had become our home the last month.

We made it to middle of the clearing before Jacob pulled me back into his embrace, my body crushing against the weight of him once more. I laughed as his hands moved over my lower back until they rested firmly on my hips.

I didn't let another moment pass before I brought his face to mine, our lips meeting once more. I heard my heart beat increase as he placed a firm hand behind my neck deepening the kiss. I gasped at the feel of his hands on me once more. It was then that Jacob slowed down.

"Ness, we don't have to—" His body shivered as he tried to gain control.

"It's okay, Jake."

I opened my eyes finding his deep black eyes gazing into mine, my hands laid gently against his chest, even now I could feel the rapid beating of his heart through the soaked blue t-shirt.

"I want this. I want to be with you." I spoke fervently over us once more.

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as if his mind was processing all that I was saying.

"Don't you?" I felt myself biting my lip once more, afraid and insecure until I found the courage to smile. "I just…I just don't want to do anything that might sub-consciously pressure—"

"Shut up." He smiled that boyish way before kissing me straight and hard once more.

Lifting me into his arms, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt once again, despite all the reasons I had once been so sure of before, surrendering to him.

The cloth door rolled over by back as we entered the dry covering of his thatched hut. Jacob placed me gently onto the layers of quilts that had been his bed and with a brilliant smile he pulled his wet shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. Within moments I felt the weight of his warm body on top of mine, he brushed my dripping hair away from my face, his lips traveling from my forehead to my chin and finally softly onto my waiting lips.

"I love you, Ness."

His deep voice resonated over me as his hand cupped the back of my neck, his black eyes stared deeply into mine as if taking in everything about me in that moment.

"I love you too, Jake."

I ran my hand over his face and through his wet jet-black hair until I too reached the back of his neck pulling his face once again close to my own. Jake waited, his eyes never leaving mine, for a few seconds before he finished what I had began. He kissed me gently, his warm lips moving against mine in a blissful rhythm.

In those moments the whole world fell away from us. It was just the two of us lost and entangled in the other. Granted, being what we are has allowed us to see the world in a way that most never are able to, but for the first time I knew we both were beginning to see our world anew and we were doing it with new skin, new lips, and new eyes.


	14. Part 14: Courage To Make Love Known

**Part 14: Courage To Make Love Known**

"I have to say I kind of like this first date." Jacob laughed to himself as he ran his hand through my hair before securing it around my back. I just smiled and felt a deep blush creep over my face as I buried it into his chest. "So what exactly are we going to tell Bella and Edward when we get back home?"

"The truth." I spoke lifting my head to meet his gaze.

"That will go over well." Jacob's deep laugh once again filled the hut. "Probably even more so than when Bella found out that you were the one I finally imprinted on."

"We'll do it together." I kissed his lips and he only deepened it. "Besides for now at least we are safe."

"What do you mean?" His black eyebrows furrowed into a point as he tried to understand.

"Until an outside source knows about us, Alice cannot know, and if Alice doesn't know—

"Then Edward and Bella won't." He smiled catching on to my train of thought. "So for now we can just enjoy the pleasure of being the only two people in the world who know about this."

Jacob proved his point by pulling me on top of him, I couldn't help but laugh as his arms wrapped around me once more, his hands traveling up my lower back to my face where he finally brought mine to his, presumably ending our conversation and resuming where we had last left off.

"I woke up yesterday morning with nothing in my hands, just the knowledge that all I had ever wanted was getting farther and farther away from me with every step I took. And now everything I have ever hoped for is lying beside me." Jacob grasped me tighter. "What's the sudden smile for?"

"It's just funny…I realized the same thing." I placed my head once more against his chest.

Jacob smiled too as my words rested over us. He took a deep breath, his stomach rising and falling. My fingers moving up and down his torso as if taking note of every curve and every scar.

"How did you get this one?" I asked noticing a deep toned scar that ran across his right hip.

"Uh, I guess it was a year before you were born, a group of new vampires waged war on the Cullens. I was stupid and reckless and instead of sticking to the plan I joined the fight. We thought they were all taken care of, but one attacked Leah at the last second. I jumped in to save her and he crushed that side of my body, that was the mark that was left."

I felt my body shiver, the thought of that happening again caused me to feel light-headed. I knew that Jake could feel me, his instinct was to wrap his arms around me fully, holding me as close as possible. I felt my body warm as his head rested on mine.

"It's okay, Ness. Those days are over." He assured me as his fingers grazed my arm in comfort.

"Are they?" I asked my voice unsteady as I did so.

"What's wrong?" He asked noticing my change of tone.

"Nothing, sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Ness?" Jacob whispered my name, his face etched with concern as his body rolled onto its side, his face mere inched from mine.

I pulled myself away from him and sat up grabbing the nearest quilt and wrapped it around my body securing it gently under my arm. Jacob seemed surprised by my retreat, yet his gaze never left me.

"Scars are not always visible like yours are Jake, sometimes they are hidden deep within us."

"Ness, what are you trying to say?" He asked as he placed a hand over mine. I smiled up at him as best as I could, squeezing his hand gently before continuing.

"When I was little uncertainty plagued us. Everyone spent that first year unsure of what was going to happen to us, unsure of whether our family would be together again." I felt my body tense even now as I recalled all those memories. "I have never let go of that fear or uncertainty, Jacob. Once it was all over, once it seemed that our lives would go on as we had always wished they would my entire family, even you, entered a new way of life, a blissfully happy existence. I too, for a while, trusted that we were safe from what could happen, or better yet what might have happened if things had gone differently that day in the field."

"You're not making any sense, Nessie." Jacob held my cheek his eyes penetrating mine.

"I saw it in Aro's eyes, Jacob, that day in the meadow all those years ago. When he saw Nahuel, when he saw me, I knew it then. He wanted me."

"Ness—" Jacob tried to console me but I just continued.

"No Jacob, when Aro wants something he gets it. We got lucky last time Jake, he wasn't expected the showing, but he will return. He will—"

"Ness, you have been living with this fear, this uncertainty for all these years?" Jacob's face paled as if bearing the weight of it all. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" The disappointment held within his voice caused me to shiver once more.

"You were the one person that I was trying to protect." I took a deep breath hoping that my heart would find a quiet rhythm once more. "I was afraid Jake, I was terrified of what might happen to you if Aro ever came looking for me again."

"You thought I would become a target." He spoke breathlessly. I knew his mind was beginning to see it all clearly now. "Everything that you have just said, all of this is the reason why you have been keeping your distance from me, isn't it?" Jake's eyes found mine and I knew just by his glance that he already knew the answer. Taking a deep breath, his chest rose and fell heavily.

"I thought you were afraid of not loving me, of not wanting a future with me. I never thought it was because you believed it would never exist."

"I wanted more for you, Jake. I wanted better." I echoed the words I had spoken last night.

"So why this?" Jacob glanced at my body then at the bed we had been sharing together. "Why now?"

"Because I don't want to live in fear anymore, because in these last few weeks I realized what sort of life I can, we can have now, because I could no longer lie to you, because I wanted this, Jake. Feeling you leave knowing that I might not see you again, it was more painful than I…because I am in love with you and I don't want to run from you or from this anymore."

My eyes glanced down at the quilt underneath us and back into his black-eyed gaze. I knew he could feel my heart beat. I wiped a tear that had fallen onto my cheek and I was not quick enough to wipe away the second, it fell slowly and heavy onto the quilt that covered me.

I lowered my head closing my eyes, it hurt too much to keep his gaze. I felt his arms embrace me and I took comfort in his nearness once more. Opening my eyes I saw his fingers unwrap the quilt until there was no longer anything between us. His lips found mine in the dimming light of the day. He kissed me gently before slowly pulling away.

"You have nothing to fear, Ness. I won't let anything happen to you now or ever. You are mine, Ness, you will never be Aro's. " His eyes never left me as he spoke with such conviction that I felt myself surrendering once again to his touch.


	15. Part 15: What's Done Cannot Be Undone

**Part 15: What's Done Cannot Be Undone**

"Renesmee, may I introduce you to my sister, Jennifer."

"It is a delight to meet another sister of our kind, Renesmee." Jennifer spoke kindly.

"As am I." I greeted her with a smile, yet my eyes couldn't help but glance from her straight ruby hair to the expanding stomach that revealed itself underneath her white t-shirt. She was much to my surprise pregnant.

"Quite a sight I must be to you." She laughed, the sound was whimsical, a musical melody that filled the living room.

I blinked as I glanced up at Jacob. He too seemed to have the same reaction, his eyes staring like mine at her growing belly. I knew what he was thinking for it was the same thing I was. If she was with child, then it was biologically possible for me to be too. Yet, to what end it would mean for Jennifer or me, no one in the room seemed to know.

"I am sorry, I just never—"

"I didn't either, trust me. It was quite the surprise to me too." Jennifer shifted in her chair as she placed a hand upon her belly. "My father however was thrilled." At the mention of him, Nahuel's body flinched, a sudden reaction that we all took notice off.

"Why journey here sister?" Nahuel placed a gentle hand upon her ivory skin. "You could have put yourself in danger."

"Nahuel is right, Jennifer. If we hadn't come across your scent in the jungle—"

"Just because I am with child doesn't mean that I am incapable of traveling. I am half-vampire, not an invalid. Besides, I haven't visited in a decade.

"You had to get away from him." Nahuel seemed to speak the truth for Jennifer's bright disposition fell.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked afraid though of what the answer might be.

"Our father has offered me protection my entire existence, yet as I grew older I sought out human connections outside the family. I wanted a life, an existence with my own purposes. Our father only knows his own purposes, Renesmee. When he found out I was pregnant, he was overjoyed. Too thrilled in fact. He soon began to consider my baby another one of his projects. My brother was plotting against me, I found out, afraid that his role would be lessened." Jennifer's body began to quiver and her words became more rapid.

"Breathe." Huilen spoke over her. Jennifer complied and did as she was told before continuing.

"I began to see him, Nahuel." She glanced up at her older brother. "To see him the way you have always seen him. He cares nothing for me or for my child. He just wants to use me, to use us for his own plans."

"You are safe here, you both are." Nahuel bent down and kissed the top of her head, placing his hands on her shoulders. His touch she could tell had been a calming affect on her.

"I am grateful."

"And the father?" Jacob asked his body leaning in further.

"It's the oldest story in the book, really. Found out and vanished."

"Was he a vampire?" Jacob pressed.

"No, human. He never knew what I was, that is one benefit of being a hybrid. We transfer better into human society. An asset my father believes is the new generation of vampires."

"So the child will simply genetically contain a fourth of vampire." Nahuel spoke.

"Yes, a diluted breed that may render him or her more normal, or altogether much like us brother." She placed her hands on her stomach once more. "Only time will tell."

"Time in which you will be here with us." Nahuel spoke with authority and compassion.

"Have you given any thoughts to the birth?" Huilen asked.

"I hope that is where you come in." Jennifer moved one of her hands to Huilen's.

"But this has never been done before." I said what I knew we all were thinking. "Our mothers were human, their bodies were broken from the inside because of us."

"Ours were killed." Nahuel's eyes darkened, as did Jennifer's.

"A vampire body has never held life nor given life." Jacob's jaw tightened.

"Yet it seems a half-vampire can." Jennifer smiled. "I do not begin to proclaim that I have the slightest idea what will happen. I assume that with the child's father being human that the baby will not have as much strength as we did to pry its way out, and with my body being stronger than any human, who knows. It is growing faster, not as fast as we did but still it is cutting down at least a fourth of the time."

"How far along are you?" Huilen questioned as she placed a hand on her stomach.

"3 months."

"The baby is moving and it's heart beat is faster than most, a definite sign of immortal qualities. Given your health at this far stage is a good sign. However, the birth still may be difficult, Jennifer."

"I can call Carlisle." I offered. "He helped make preparations and took care of my mom during her pregnancy with me. He might be able to help. Jake and I can travel into the nearest town first thing tomorrow to make the call."

"That is very kind." Jennifer smiled.

"We might need his assistance." Huilen nodded.

"If you all will excuse me, I think I am going to go lie down. It was a pleasure to meet you Renesmee, and you Jacob." Jennifer nodded in our direction as her petite body rose and supported by Huilen, they quickly disappeared on the other side of the hut.

"I hope everything turns out okay." Jacob spoke. Nahuel's gaze glanced back towards them both from where his aunt and sister had disappeared.

"Nature it seems has made a new way for our kind."

"How…how is it even possible?" I asked still trying to wrap my head around the idea.

"How are we possible?" He asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Our mothers were human when we were conceived, Nahuel, Jennifer is in every essence immortal."

"Our bodies can still function as humans, Renesmee. We can eat a human diet, be exposed to sunlight, we can even bleed."

"You proved that one true only weeks ago." Jacob glanced at the visible scar on my leg and winced as if the memory brought him pain.

"But conceive and carry a child? Jake is right, no vampire has ever been able to do that."

"We are not just vampire, why should you or my sisters not be able to carry a child?"

"I just assumed—

"You assumed it would never be possible?"

"I just always assumed I would never be able to."

Jake took my hand in his and brought it to his warm lips gently kissing it. Nahuel's eyes watched us and I saw a steady smile creep over his face.

"How about a swim?" Jacob whispered as he turned to meet my gaze.

"Sounds perfect." I grinned. "Why don't you go ahead?" I suggested.

I watched Jacob's eyes glance from Nahuel to me seeming to understand my intentions. He rose from where we had been sitting and made his way out of the long house into the night.

"I think I can jump to the end myself." He smiled recalling the words I had spoken to him on the cliff.

"I just didn't want you to—"

"You don't have to say anything." Nahuel spoke as he raised his hands toward her. "I am happy for you."

"You gave me the courage, Nahuel." I leaned towards him, placing my hand on his. "Your honesty helped me to see through my mind and begin to listen to my heart."

"Then I am honored." He placed his hand on top of mine. "Go." He lifted his gaze to the door as if releasing me.

I smiled and nodded as I stood letting go of his hands. I just reached the doorway before turning back to him.

"Don't think I didn't catch the timing of your hunting trip, because I did." I winked.

His hearty laugh filled the long house and a crimson blush filled his cheeks, as I once again turned and exited the house, my gaze turning towards the lagoon where Jacob was waiting for me. Slipping off my shorts and tank top to reveal a blue bikini, I entered the water feeling the cool waves slowly rising over my body.

I swam scanning the water for Jake, yet soon I felt his arms wrap around my torso, the warmth of his skin leaving a trail of goose bumps along my entire body. I curved into him, his chin resting on my shoulder, his arms wrapping around me.

"How are you feeling?" His hot breath spoke against my ear as his hands twisted me around and I instinctively wrapped my legs and arms around him.

"In love." I spoke knowing that it would only make him laugh out loud, which it did, the sound of it deepening over the water and into the caves behind the waterfalls.

I silenced him by placing a deep kiss on his lips. His hands moved over my back and I only tightened my grip on the back of his neck.

"I don't think I am quite used to that." Jacob spoke as he smiled that boyish way as our lips broke apart. "It, you, us, this, still doesn't seem real yet." His eyes gazed over the land around us then back to me.

"Get used to it." I spoke playfully as I kissed him briefly again, gently this time.

Jacob moved in the water taking us further and further into the deep until I knew he could no longer touch. We swam the rest of the way, splashing each other before we dove under the waterfalls heading towards the rock caverns behind them. Pulling myself up onto the rocky terrain, I sat with my legs dangling in the water, Jacob's arms resting on them.

"What were you thinking about tonight?" I asked as I brushed a piece of his dripping hair out his eyes.

"When I saw Jennifer?" He clarified. I nodded and watched on as he took a moment to think about what he wanted to say. "Honestly?"

"No lie to me." I stated sarcastically.

"I was wondering if knowing, I mean realizing it was possible, if it would have changed—"

"Us being together." I finished his sentence.

"You too?" His voice deepened, a sure sign that he was nervous about where this conversation was going. "I mean we didn't know to take any—"

"I know." I bit my lip, before smiling.

He pulled away from my body, his arms bracing the rocks beside me. Within moments his body lifted from the water and he turned to sit beside me.

"You regret it then." He sighed as he ran a hand through his wet hair. Within a split second his mood had changed and his body seemed weakened.

My heart pricked with pain as I saw his jaw clinch from trying to control how that thought affected him. I turned my body to him, reaching across to rest my hand on his cheek pulling his face towards me.

"I love you, Jake." I spoke with as much conviction as I could and sensed the power those words held over him as his body straightened and a new disposition came over him. "I would not trade the last few days we have spent together for anything."

"Really?" He spoke with a steady smile.

"Really." I nodded.

He confidently placed his hand behind my neck and pulled me to him, kissing me long and hard, causing my stomach to turn and my heart to race. Jacob didn't break the kiss until he needed to stop for air.

"What's so funny?" He asked upon seeing my facial expression.

"Life just has a way of surprising us." I wrapped my arm through his and rested my head against his broad shoulder.

"How so?" He grasped my hand firmly in his, intertwining our fingers.

"I used to believe that one of the reasons why I thought, I felt, we were never right for each other was because I always envisioned a future for you where you could be a father. I know you really desire that but you've never spoken about it. I think a part of me left home, left you, because I hoped that by being with someone else, who could provide all those things, you might be happier."

"You, and you alone, make me happy Ness." Jacob squeezed my hand tighter as if to affirm what he had spoken.

"I have seen the way you are with Em and Sam's kids, Jake, the way you are with your cousins, the way you were that morning after the festival with the children from the tribe. There is a deep part of you that desires to have a family of your own."

"You are my family, Nessie. You and your blood-sucking family are all the family I need." He laughed as his eyes glanced from our hands to the waterfalls in front of us. "I never saw a family the way you did because I guess I always just wanted to be a part of yours."

"You have always been a part of our family, Jake. You always will be." I whispered into his ear, placing a kiss on his dark cheek, before I nestled my head back on his shoulder.

"So what to we do now?" Jacob's voice deepened once more.

"I don't know." I spoke honestly. "I think we be careful. Who knows, Jennifer could be an anomaly."

"And what if you already are," his dark eyes tearing away from the water to glance at my stomach.

"Then we will face it together." I traced a continuous design on the back of his hand lost in my own thoughts. "I never thought I would have the chance…the notion that it might even be possible is…it's—"

I unexpectedly felt the tears come swiftly and my breathing suddenly became harder. It wasn't until that moment that I realized how much desire, how much hope had now been given to me. Jacob lifted me effortlessly into his arms and held me to him, my body cradled against his safe and protective arms. I rested my head against his warm bare chest listening to the deep hallowed sound of his heartbeat. There was life within him, and I couldn't help but smile at the thought that one day I could have that within me.


	16. Part 16: Violent Ends

**Part 15: Violent Delights Have Violent Ends**

The sounds of the city filled my ears as we weaved hand in hand through the crowds of Manaus. The sudden bustle of the street venders, motorcycles, and sirens were causing sensory overload. I gripped Jacob's hand harder and he pulled me close, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Pretty different, isn't it." He spoke as he leaned in to kiss the top of my head.

"I feel as if I am in a blender."

"Welcome back to the real world." He chuckled to himself as we crossed the busy street.

"We're almost there." I spoke again my eyes craning over the crowd to see the street signs. "Just down this street I believe."

"You are pretty sure of yourself." He chided with a large smile.

"I spent a night there before I traveled into the jungle. It's just right—" I pulled him slightly forcing him to quicken his pace. I stopped suddenly and pointed up. "Right off of Dez du Julho."

"I'm guessing it's the twelve story one."

"Yep." I smiled. "Come on."

With a gentle tug, I pulled him through the crowd once more until we reached the steps of Hotel Manaos. Pushing open the glass doors we entered the refreshing air conditioned lobby.

"Olá." The man at the reception desk spoke with a smile. "Bem-vindo à Hotel Manaos."

"Olá." I repeated. "Nós gostaríamos de um quarto de hotel agrade."

"Fala inglês?" He smiled deeper.

"Yes." I said with a laugh. "Thank you. We simply need a room for one night. Do you have any availabilities?"

"Single?"

"She's with me." Jacob placed an arm around my waist causing a deep blush to cross my cheeks.

"I think he was asking whether we wanted a single or double bed." I smiled up at him. "Double please." My eyes turned towards the receptionist.

"Paying with credit?" He asked.

"Yes." I smiled grabbing my wallet out of my backpack. "You can put it on this one."

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen." He replied. Jacob stifled a laugh and I couldn't help but give him a deadly stare. "Room 907. Elevator is down the hall to the right. Pool is out back and is open from 8 o'clock in the morning until 10 o'clock in the evening. Please let staff know if you need anything."

"Actually, the Opera d'Amazonas?"

"Yes, across the street." He smiled brightly.

"What is playing?" I asked.

"Playing?" He seemed confused. "Oh, uh, yes, you mean showing?"

"Yes, I am sorry. I mean what is showing?" I corrected myself.

"Romeu e Julieta."

"Romeo and Juliet." Jacob sighed deeply. "Of course."

"Any tickets still available?" I clasped my hands together in front of me. I had always wanted to see a live performance of its opera.

"I check." He nodded. "Two?"

I glanced up at Jacob and put on my most pleading face. He only smiled and laughed at the attempt.

"Two." Jacob nodded.

"I will phone the room." He smiled once more.

"Perfect!" I jumped unaware of my own excitement. "Thank you."

"Come on, Mrs. Shakespeare." Jake placed a kiss on the side of my head before pulling me towards the elevator.

"Thank you." I pushed the button and watched as the lights lit up each floor as the elevator descended. "I know you are not his biggest fan." I looked up at Jacob only to see his eyes gazing into the brassy mirrored reflection of the two of us in the elevator doors.

"Yeah, we didn't really read him on the reservation." Jacob laughed. "More like Call of the Wild."

I couldn't help but laugh at his comment as the doors swung open and we made our way into the elevator. I pressed number nine and watched the doors close behind us.

"Makes sense." I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing harder.

"But for you, anything." His voice deepened and his eyes darkened. Jacob grabbed my hand that lay by my side raising it to his warm lips, kissing it gently.

I could tell his mind was somewhere else, someplace else and I had a pretty good idea where. My stomach tightened as his hand grasped mine tighter and I knew that it was only a matter of seconds before I would give in. Yet the ding of the elevator doors brought me back to reality and forcibly made Jacob drop my hand from his lips.

We made our way to 907 in silence but I could hear the hammering of our heartbeats as we moved closer. Jacob opened the door and let me go in first. I brushed past him and placed my backpack on the floor.

"Looks nice." I commented as I gazed over the standard room, double bed, desk, lounge chair, wardrobe. "Look at this view."

I smiled brightly pulling back the curtain. Our room overlooked most of the city. From where we stood we could see the top of the opera house and the main square of town.

I heard Jacob approach behind me.

"Pretty cool."

His whisper tickled my neck as he placed his hands onto my hips. I could feel the heat from them through my jean shorts. He brushed away my hair kissing my neck and I couldn't help but sigh. Leaning back against him, I placed my hand onto the back of his neck. Within seconds Jacob's breathing became heavier and his strong arms spun me around. Soon his lips were against mine and I felt his hand on my face, the other on my lower back.

Jacob deepened the kiss and I surrendered, letting him take control. He lifted me off the ground and moved us towards the bed. Laying me onto the covers, I laughed at the pleased smile that spread across his face. Pulling him by his shirt I brought him down on top of me. His kisses were hard, needy, his heartbeat faster and faster.

I felt a shiver of desire run through me as well but I couldn't help but think of Jennifer. Her image flashed through my mind forcing my body to turn cold. I moved my head away and placed a firm hand against Jacob's chest.

He stopped, his eyes glancing into mine and recognized my fear. His face distorted into pain, but neither one of us had time to say anything for the phone beside us rang shrilly. I moved out from underneath him, and he rolled over, falling heavily against the other side of the bed. His hands covering his face as he tried to control himself.

"Hello?" I spoke through a choke.

"Mrs. Cullen?" I recognized the voice of the receptionist. "This is Anton from front desk. I have two tickets to the show tonight if you would like them."

"Really?" I took a breath, glancing back at a still Jacob beside me. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you." I was about to hang up when I suddenly remembered, "what time is the show?"

"Half past seven. The tickets will be at the front desk."

"Perfect, thank you." I placed the receiver back on the dial and exhaled. "If you don't want to go, I can just go." I spoke softly. "I don't mind."

"I told you I would." Jacob removed his hand from his face, his dark eyes catching mine.

Neither one of us said anything more. I didn't know what to say or even how to say it.

"I'm going to call home. Tell Carlisle about…Jennifer." The moment I said her name, a look of pain and anger crossed Jacob's face.

"I'm going to take a shower." He moved off the bed and stood. "It wouldn't really help either of us if they heard my voice."

"Yeah, probably for the best." I agreed.

I watched as Jake took of his shirt and tossed it on the floor. For a moment I almost reconsidered calling and going to him. But before I could act Jacob was already in the bathroom, the door closing abruptly between us. I breathed deeply and tried to clear my mind as I dialed the numbers on the phone.

"Renesmee?" My mom's voice instantly echoed over the line.

"Hey Mom." I smiled and I could feel all my emotions welling up within me as the sound of her voice filled me once more.

"You don't know how good it is to hear you sweetheart." My dad's voice chimed in.

"I'm on speaker?" I asked.

"Yep." Came the sound of many voices at once. I couldn't help but laugh as I recognized each and every one.

"I've missed you." I felt the tears slowly fall down my cheek and I tried to wipe them away quickly as if by some way they would be able to see them.

"Are you okay, honey?" Esme's sweet voice came through the line.

"I'm fine, just fine." I confirmed.

"It's been almost three months." Carlisle's meticulous brain pointed out.

"I know. Time has gone by so fast down here." I tried to explain. "I'm sorry for not calling sooner, I have just been out of reach ya know?"

"How are you doing? How is everything going?" Bella spoke again.

"Everything been…it's been…a whirlwind." I didn't know how else to explain it. "I found Nahuel and Huilen."

"That's great!" I could hear the relief in my father's voice.

"You were right Jasper, Zafrina did end up finding me."

"I thought she might."

"Have you gotten what you needed yet?" Rosalie voice spoke as gently as she could, which knowing her was saying something.

"I think parts of it yes." I spoke honestly.

"Then you're coming home?" My mom couldn't hide her hope.

"No," I took a breath. "I'm actually just calling because Nahuel and Huilen need your help, Carlisle."

"What's wrong?" Carlisle's voice spoke up, concern etched into it.

"It's Jennifer, Nahuel's sister. She left their father and made her way down here to see Nahuel." I paused not really knowing what to say next or how to even explain. "Carlisle, she's…she's pregnant." I held the cord in my fingers, twisting it as the silence thickened.

"How far along?" His voice finally spoke.

"Umm maybe three, four months. It's just that none of us are really equipped for this sort of thing. I mean Huilen was a mid-wife and helped birth Nahuel, but we are dealing with—"

"Something unique." He finished for me.

"How…how is that even possible?" Bella questioned.

"You're the one to talk." Emmett laughed.

"It took us all by surprise too." I said through a laugh. "Carlisle, Nahuel would be very grateful if you wouldn't mind—"

"I'll make the arrangements." His soothing voice washed over the line. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"We'll all come." I heard my mother speak.

"Maybe not all of us, Bella." Alice's gentle voice spoke. "It might overwhelm them."

"Alice is right mom." I agreed, as hard as I knew it would be for her to hear. "I mean I don't think the whole Cullen clan moving in would be the best thing for Jennifer right now."

"Well, Edward and I can come. We can stay on the island."

"Bella, we still need to respect Nessie's—"

"I know that Edward but we can at least—"

"I'll come home, Mom. I promise." I spoke as convincingly as I could. "I feel like I need to be here for Nahuel and Jennifer. Once things are settled…once we get through this I'll be home."

"You promise?" Her voice heightened, and I knew she was at war with herself and with me.

"Yes. I swear." I smiled once again.

No matter how much distance I put between us, she would always be my mother, and I would always be her little girl. Taking a deep breath I knew I had to do one more thing before I got off the line.

"Alice?"

"Hey Ness." Alice's sing songy voice rung in my ear. "I'm taking you off speaker."

"Thanks." I replied.

"How are you holding up?"

"It's been harder than I thought. I don't know if I am ready, Alice."

"You are Renesmee. You've had years to—"

"You don't know this future Alice. You've never seen—"

"I may not be able to…you know…but I know you. I know that you can do this."

"I chose this Alice. I know that." I exhaled. "If there was any other way you know I would do it."

"I know, Ness. Trust me, I know."

"Any new developments I should know about?"

"No. I am afraid not." I could hear her frustration through the line and I took a breath letting the reality of what I knew was before me drift away.

"You know what to do, Alice. After it all…after it happens. You know what we talked about."

"I remember." She spoke with confidence. "And what about a certain animal? How do you want me to handle that?"

"There has been a slight change of plans."

"Really?" Her voice heightened.

"I'll have to…I'll have to take care of that myself." I bit my lip as the sounds of the shower echoed in my ear.

"Be careful, Ness." She spoke tenderly.

"I will." I took a deep breath. "Tell everyone I love them, Alice."

"I promise, Ness. Take care of yourself."

"I will." I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I let it fall onto the bed. "Goodbye Alice." I hung up the phone and the finality of the sound it made almost made my heart break into two.

I wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. I glanced into the mirror that hung on the wall and I almost didn't recognize myself. My skin had darkened; my hair was wavier, longer. I breathed deeply, allowing my heartbeat to slow down.

My ears couldn't help but tune into the sound of Jacob in the shower once more. I finally got up the nerve to do what I knew I wanted to. To do what only minutes ago I had been afraid of. I slowly undressed and made my way towards the bathroom. The steam surrounded me as I opened the bathroom door, but my eyes were fixated on the shower where Jacob stood. I took another deep breath and placed my hand on the shower door, pulling it back.

"I'm sorry about earlier." I spoke as he turned to face me.

A sudden surprise yet pleased reaction crossed his face upon seeing me. Water ran down his bronzed face onto his shoulders and down his back. He bridged the gap between us and placed his warm hand against my face, leaning in slowly his lips grazed mine gently.

"I'm sorry." His eyes caught mine. "I let myself get carried away, Ness." He spoke over the roar of the water at his back. "I didn't realize that you weren't ready to… that you didn't want to—"

"I do, Jake." I placed my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Trust me, I want to."

"You were scared, Ness. I saw it in your eyes." He shook his head. "You were afraid of me."

"I was afraid Jake, but not of you." I placed my hand on his chest staring deep into his eyes. "I love you, Jacob."

"But Ness—"

I didn't give him another moment to say anything more. I kissed him hard and he responded in full. For the first time in my life I let myself fully give into my need to be with him. Jacob himself seemed surprised by it, but he only smiled deeper and kissed me harder. I knew what he didn't, that this moment, that tonight might be our last night together.

"Juliet should have just gone with Romeo." Jacob pointed out as we made our way out of the opera house. "I mean he gets exiled and she just stays? What kind of marriage is that? If Juliet had just gone with Romeo then none of that would have ever happened."

"If the message hadn't gone astray, if Romeo had controlled his anger and not sought revenge for Mercutio, if Juliet had woken up a second earlier." I replied. "That's what makes it so riveting. A string of events that all coincide at the precise moment to create the greatest tragedy ever written."

"Too bad I couldn't understand a word of it." Jacob's laugh filled the crowd as we shuffled through the main plaza.

"Portuguese wasn't taught on the reservation?" I smiled as I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Academy d'Cullen?" He retorted. I just nodded my head. "Of course."

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

"I saw a great restaurant that we passed by earlier today. I think it's a couple of streets down and around the corner." I explained.

"Sounds good to me." Jacob replied as he weaved us through the crowd and across the street. "When does Carlisle arrive?"

"Tomorrow, he should be here by mid-afternoon. I know Jennifer will be in good hands."

"Access to a private plane comes in handy."

"It can." I squeezed his hand tighter as we made our way down the street passing night vendors who sold trinkets to the tourists and local delicacies.

My eyes focused in on our surroundings, the buildings, the way the lights reflected off of the glass windows, and the music that echoed in the background. My heart clinched as the visions hit me with full force. Yet, things were different, different now in this version, in this reality, for Jacob was here with me. In every single vision before I had been alone. Reality of this moment of what it meant sunk in. I had maybe minutes, seconds before we were found. Stopping suddenly, Jacob turned to look at me.

"You ok?" He asked registering the increase of my heartbeat, the rapid intake of breath.

I didn't know what to say. I thought I would have more time, more warning. I knew that if I lied he would know, and I couldn't tell him the truth. I didn't want to spend maybe these last few moments explaining. I wanted to…I needed to do something else.

"I love you." I spoke softly my body shaking from the sudden realization of all that was before me.

"I know, Ness." He smiled gently brushing back a piece of hair from my face.

"I need you to know that, no matter what happens, even if you don't understand…" I bit my lip to try and keep my emotions at bay. "Jake, I will…I will always love you." I glanced up into his face and caught his stare.

"I love you too Ness." He spoke more as a question. His eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out what had brought on my sudden declaration.

I took a deep breath and placed my hand on his chest, his skin warm to my touch. I knew I had but maybe a moment more. I gazed up at Jacob and placed my lips onto his waiting ones. Jacob responded to my sudden kiss in fold, pulling me closer to him deepening the kiss with each passing second.

I tried to take in everything around me, I allowed my senses to expand and capture every detail of this moment, the way Jake's lips felt against mine, the hunger that was attached to it. Yet within another second we both heard the shuffling and tapping of approaching footsteps. I broke away turning to face what I knew would already be there.

"Caius." I spoke with as much strength as I could muster.

Jake's body rippled with alarm and anger within seconds of registering all those who were now before us. I could feel the sudden rise in his body temperature. Yet, I held his hand firmly, showing him an image of staying calm, hoping to coax him into staying human. Jacob's eyes shifted firmly to mine and I only nodded. If he turned now the Volturi would surely react violently.

"Renesmee Cullen." Caius nodded his head, extending his arms in a formal greeting. "We meet again."

"Out for a midnight stroll?" Jacob retorted with a sneer, taking a step in front of me as if to shield me from the line of the Volturi Guard that stood in front of us.

Caius' red eyes darkened. Jane took a step forward, but Caius held up his hand as if to stop her.

"This was the only way." Caius lifted his hands as if to embrace the scene that was around them. "For the last seventeen years my brother Aro has thought of nothing besides extending an invitation to you to join our family."

"You can't have her." Jacob growled, the sensation rippling into the empty alley behind us.

"Quiet dog." Alec bore his teeth before glancing at Caius.

I gripped Jacob's hand harder expressing one clear image, the roaring sound of shut up! Having Jake here was not how I had always envisioned it, on the contrary I had always imagined this moment more discreet, quiet, I slow nod of what needed to be done. If Jake had his way there would be a full-blown skirmish in about two seconds right here in the middle of the street.

"You are right Caius." I spoke gently as I took a step out from behind Jacob. An action that only made Jacob tenser than he already was. "This is and was the only way. A public sight, away from any members of my family and we are clearly outnumbered. It seems you have brought the most valuable with you. Demetri, Alec, Jane, Felix." I met each of their red eyes with a smile before turning my attention to the one I did not quite recognize. "We have not been formerly introduced Chelsea, but Carlisle speaks of you…fondly."

I tried to choose my words carefully. I knew Chelsea had been brought here for a reason, for a specific purpose. Her powers, if given the chance, would force me to feel unconnected to Jacob, to feel apathetic about him or what happened to him. I could not allow that to happen.

"It is an…honor to meet the infamous daughter of Carlisle's son." She spoke with a formality that seemed long forgotten yet her eyes never left Jacob. "You have caused quite the scandal across the covens."

"Quite, indeed." Caius glanced from Chelsea back towards me. "Aro wishes an audience with you Renesmee." Caius took a step forward and within seconds Jacob had moved directly in front of me.

Jacob's sudden movement triggered Jane and within moments Jacob's body constricted in pain, a grunt of anguish echoing over us all. Demitri, Alec, and Felix made their moves and within seconds stood between Jacob and me. Felix gripped my arm firmly in his, holding me in place, holding me exactly where he wanted me to be. Yet, just as quickly as Jacob's pain had occurred it ended much to Jane's confusion. Her eyes narrowed, intensifying as she tried to focus harder on the task at hand.

"Jane." Caius held up his hand once more. "Your efforts are useless. It seems she, like her mother, is a shield." Jane's eyes quickly sought mine finally understanding what had transpired.

"Your guard has traveled all this way for nothing, Caius." I replied.

I searched Jacob's face for some sort of sign that he would be okay. His face clinched as if the pain was still working its way out of his body. Demitri and Alec forced him to stand gripping his arms tight to control him.

"On the contrary, despite you and your dog's best attempts, you still are outnumbered. It would be…unwise for you to not comply with Aro's request."

"You're the one who traveled half way across the world to comply with an order." Jacob's face smiled wryly. "Whose really the dog?"

"Jake, please." I tried to take a step nearer to him but Felix's grip was firm forcing me to stumble backwards slightly. I looked up into Jacob's eyes before glancing back at the Volturi. "We have no intention of fighting you Caius. I will comply—

"Ness, no!" Jacob turned swiftly and almost broke free of the guard's hold. Yet I knew it was the look in my eyes that made him stop cold.

"I will comply with Aro's request. I do so on one condition." I turned my gaze to Caius.

"Your condition being?"

"You are a law-abiding man, Caius. You know what I ask." I bowed my head respectfully before turning my gaze to Jacob.

"I can assume." Caius' blood red eyes glanced from me to Jacob and then back to me. "Your family shall be spared so long as you prove yourself to be a gracious guest."

"A guest?" Jacob snorted, his eyes darkening.

"I cannot speak in regards to this creature." Caius smiled wryly. "You will have to take that up with the council. They have different plans for him."

It was the small smile that streaked across his stiff face that made me stop breathing. I had not a moment more to think before the screeching of tires signaled that our conversation was over. Within seconds both Jacob and I were thrust with careful force into the back of a black limousine.

Firmly jostled and planted onto a seat in the back, Jacob and I sat sideways in the limousine across from each other. His eyes fixated on mine, his breathing rapid. The rest of the guard filled in around us their gazes ever watchful for a defensive movement. Caius seated himself comfortably in the very back, a pleased expression crossing his face. The limousine made its way through the city passing building after building until I recognized our direction towards the airport.

Not knowing what the Volturi had planned, I glanced back at Jacob and I chose to be reckless. I averted my eyes from Jacob's body, glancing out the window as if lost in thought. Gently moving my foot I removed it from its shoe and extended my bare foot so that it could graze against Jacob's exposed ankle. Skin against skin I began to show him everything that for the last ten years I had been keeping a secret.

_Jake, don't react to this. Act as if nothing is happening. I don't know what their plan is but I know that we may not have much time together. I need you to know the truth._

_We have always thought that I am a black hole in Alice's vision, Jake. She can no more see your future than she can see mine that is why she sees us through the lenses of others. Alice has seen this future and she has prepared me for this moment. We have been preparing for this for the last ten years. We have been preparing for my time with Aro. _

Jacob's body stiffened and I could feel the heat rise up and permeate through him and into me.

_You must control your anger, Jake. Now is not the time for rash actions, but for the execution of careful planning. The year I finally matured, Alice was measuring me for a new wardrobe. My hand touched hers and in that moment, Jake, I saw what she saw. I was slightly older, like I am now. I saw myself being taken by Caius. The vision then shifted. I was dressed in a red decadent gown in a great marble hall with the Volturi around me. I was on the right side of Aro, his hand holding up mine. Everyone had been gathered to hear him. He was announcing me as his new and greatest asset, as the key to the new age for vampires. In ten years the vision has never faltered, Jake. _

_As I matured my abilities have grown and I acquired the skill of being a shield like mom. _

_Her gift is different, more concrete than mine, she shields all the time. She can't help it. I on the other hand, like my ability to show my thoughts and memories, to speak like I am now; I have to choose when to use it. Alice and I knew that we were the only ones who needed to know the truth. I have been choosing to shield this truth from my father. My father can hear any of my mindless thoughts as long as he is in range. I have had to make sure I have been out of that range when thinking about it. The trips to the meadow, the reservation, to visit the Denali's, and spending nights with Grandpa, I sought any opportunity to be out of range, for when I am with him I am constantly shielding that memory._

_Despite how angry I know you are, I had to keep it a secret. Until we knew more we didn't want the family to be unsettled. I didn't want them to worry about something that we honestly had no idea when it would come to pass. My parents fought for years to be together. The stories they told let me know that much. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, everyone had gone through so much already I didn't want to hurt them, to cause them to worry or to be afraid._

_This is why I have been fighting you all these years, Jake, fighting the way you and I are connected, because I knew this was going to happen. This is why I ran away, so that I would spare you from what is going to now happen. I am so sorry Jake. I am so sorry. Loving me, imprinting on me has placed you in this danger. _

I removed my bare foot and placed it once more back into its shoe. I gathered the courage to glance back into Jacob's face. Yet the look that I found within his eyes was more than I could bear. My words had torn him apart and I knew he was hurt by my secrecy for all these years.


End file.
